not a doctor

em. 28. they/them. flaky gay, michael phelps kin. hysterical (self-rx'd)

[podracer]

Dune if I was in charge

[taxontaxoff]

That IS Shai-hulud. To me.

[timberwind]

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

[veggiemedleys]

see my problem is if i “listen to my body” it literally only wants to lie down and take naps, all the time

[gallusrostromegalus]

I've been browsing carnivorous plant websites and I need everyone to see my new favorite "X for Scale" image:

PUT BABY IN NEPENTHES PITCHER.

Source

[telomeke]

[ID–

A large pitcher plant in a greenhouse. In the background are various other tropical plants, including one with a tall spray of small flowers.

The rim of the pitcher is attractively striped in different shades of rust, orange, yellow and pale green. The inside of the pitcher appears speckled. The outside is mostly a smooth green tube.

For scale, an adult (mostly out of frame) is holding a onesie-clad baby next to the pitcher plant. The pitcher is almost as large as the human infant, who is blithely oblivious to the carnivorous plant next to it.

End ID.]

‌

[americangirldollwho]

requested by @soy-sauce-and-mothra

[bunjywunjy]

does urine contain nitrogen that's good for plants or is my grandpa just a weirdo for pissing on his garden all the time saying "it's great for the flower bushes". the flowers are pretty but the whole garden reeks of pee

urine contains ammonia which is generally not great for plants, your grandpa is scorching his earth with chemical warfare

[doctorzeuss]

Carol Steinfeld begs to differ!

[headspace-hotel]

me chatting on the phone with best friend: i've been researching topics. do you want to hear about torture, vodou, or graffiti first

best friend: talking to you is like hitting the random page button on wikipedia

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

it's really funny how the entire world basically just blew the fuck up six short years ago and nobody wants to admit that that may have had some lasting consequences lmao

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

like so much of Everything today is premised on the idea that the earth-shattering catastrophe which happened within living memory of everyone older than a third grader has had no meaningful material or psychological effects on the general public and i don't think that's good, lol.

"(some of) the top-line economic indicators (sorta) recovered (in most places) so everything is fine and we don't need to talk about it" is not a sustainable framework for interfacing with reality

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

"why is everyone so angry and paranoid now?" "why is politics so dysfunctional now?" "why is [x] [y] and [z] now? blah blah blah"

2020:

[seravph]

“what’s the worst fruit” i hope you fucking die im strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. ‘the worst fruit’… has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt

[rottenlittlefink]

Red Delicious Apples

[punk-rocking-nerd]

[parakeet]

5th from the bottom on applerankings.com

[foone]

I AM THE BEST PIRATE

[lizzienoodles]

guy who's having gauzy idealized wife flashbacks for the whole adventure but it turns out she isn't dead or anything he just really misses her and wants to get home

[mephistopheles]

via @currentlycryingaboutlancelot

[cafeinevitable-deactivated20220]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[speedlimit15]

a tshirt that says I LIKE YOU AND I'M TRYING TO UNDERSTAND YOU

[bed-bath-and-bazinga]

A story in three parts

[thingsfromthedirt]

My Little Pony Gen 1 wedding cake toy

[kim-jong-chill]

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

[mattheuphonium-blog]

fabulous 

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

[counterpunches]

#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY