Your attic wife au has had me by the throat oh my goodness. This ask got very long so I won’t be offended if you skip over this. I’ve literally never done an ask before but I have been besieged by visions, and you said it was ok to play in the sandbox so I hope this is ok. For your consideration my random thoughts:
- When Shane is very much stockholmed but Ilya still has a chain on his ankle or something. The two are making out and Shane absentmindedly puts his hand in Ilya’s pant pocket and brushed up again what he can only assume is the key to the chain. Ilya does not register what has happened until Shane has flung himself away and starts begging incoherently about how he didn’t know, he wasn’t trying to, please just break his legs or hands or anything just don’t leave him alone again please. Ilya has to reach out and soothe him (silently of course) for such a long time before Shane accepts he won’t be punished. And that is how Ilya knows he can take all the chains off.
- Shane very much does have to figure things out on a trial and error basis. But occasionally if he asks a yes or no question Ilya will answer by guiding Shane’s head with a hand on his chin up and down for yes and left and right for no.
- When Ilya does take the blind fold off Shane has his eyes scrunched closed because he is so determined to be good for Ilya and isn’t sure the blindfold being off isn’t a test. So the first time Shane hears Ilya speak (in English at least) is when he says “Shane open”. And Shane just about passes out from the overstimulation of light after so long in darkness, seeing Ilya for the first time and hearing Ilya for the first time.
- Shane gets so used to Ilya doing things for him while blindfolded that after it’s gone he just sticks to that behaviour without even noticing. He is being spoon fed without realising he is now completely capable of feeding himself. Ilya was not expecting it but is absolutely delighted and either doesn’t point it out or mocks Shane but refuses to let Shane actually do whatever Shane had assumed Ilya would do.
Thanks for letting me play in your sand box. I cannot wait to see where you go with this au it’s so buzzy.
ANON EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF THIS IS DELICIOUS AND IS LITERALLY EXACTLY WHAT I ENVISION FOR THE VIBES OF THIS AU!!!! 💕✨💕✨💕✨💕✨💕✨😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
1) this is EXACTLY where Shane's head is at post mind-break,,, I talked about almost the exact same thing in the comments of the OG post with @orchidscript for how I envisioned Ilya's final 'test' for Shane going down:
I think Shane eventually develops like a panopticon adjacent approach to his own discipline regarding the blindfold, because eventually the pleasure of obeying Ilya and gaining his approval outweighs his own curiosity about sneaking a peek,,, maybe it slips and he catches a glimpse and yes he's overwhelmed with insane desire, but he is also SOO disappointed in himself,,, he immediately tells Ilya of his transgression, he HAS to be punished for this mistake,,, Ilya obviously heady with the knowledge that Shane is so beholden to his will that he'd immediately beg for a punishment after he 'does something wrong',,, his perfect boy,,,
He definitely would, you’re so right. His personal discipline would reshape around Ilya’s approval, desires, will, and Shane wouldn’t totally notice. He would try sneaking at the beginning, maybe, but survival or an innate need to be approved of would override. He wants to be Ilya’s perfect boy.
Also, Shane immediately fessing up to something dovetailed with Yuna’s “I don’t want you to lie, that’s not who you are” is just so *delicious*.
2) For yes or no questions, I've been envisioning a squeeze once for yes and twice for no situation, but your idea is sOoo much more yummy,,, something condescending about it almost, just the image of Ilya grabbing Shane by the jaw, squishing his cheeks together and forcing him to shake his own head 'no',,, or equally buzzy: Ilya softly gripping Shane's chin and making him bob his head up and down for yes,,,, LOOOOVE 💕💕💕💕💕
3) EXACTLY EXACTLY 💯💯💯 I'm realising I never specified for the blindfold reveal, but I've ALWAYS pictured Shane keeping his eyes closed until Ilya gives him explicit verbal permission to open them,,, WE ARE ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH HERE!!!!
4) YES, Ilya's caretaking absolutely doesn't end once Shane can see again. And why would it? Ilya wasn't washing Shane and feeding him and bathing him and brushing his hair because Shane physically couldn't do it - he was doing it because Shane belongs to HIM. Shane understands that now. That's why he was unchained in the first place. Because he understands who his body belongs to, now 💕💕💕💕
Thank you for playing in my sandbox, you see the vision for this au SO PERFECTLY!! ✨✨✨✨✨✨
I'm thinking about how Ilya canonically loves watching it go in,,, I'm thinking about Shane on all fours getting pounded into the fucking mattress, just the way he likes it, whining piteously when Ilya suddenly slows down. I'm thinking about Shane craning his neck, looking over his shoulder through glassy eyes to try and see why Ilya changed the pace. I'm thinking about Ilya not even noticing because he's too slack jawed watching how Shane's stretched rim clings to his thick shaft every time he pulls back, how it clenches desperately around it when he pushes back in, slick lube oozing out, dripping down Shane's taint, getting Ilya's pubes all sticky with it. I'm thinking about Ilya teasing Shane with this slow, grinding pace for aaaages, even as Shane begs and pleads and sobs for more, because he enjoys watching his greedy hole take him too much to stop.
Sometimes you'll read takes and you'll know immediately that this person wants to fuck Connor Storrie, but they're using the characters of Ilya and Shane to act that out,,, like please just be HONESTTTTTT!!! You are not making Ilya bottom because you're more liberated and woke than me, you are doing it because the thought of fucking Connor Storrie gets you HOT.
(same thing with people who describe Ilya as flamboyant,,, we must be serious)
absolutely true lol and it's like if you could just be honest about it that would be one thing! but doing these longwinded explanations of how your preference is actually the morally correct and woke one is so fucking stupid and ridiculous and not the kind of thing you should still be doing as a self respecting adult.
Daddy, Shane thinks and hopes Ilya can see it on his face. His stare is impassive as he looks down at where Shane is struggling to fit him into his mouth. Cold and slightly bemused, like Shane is a once favoured toy he’s grown bored of.
Shane squeezes his eyes shut, humiliation prickling through his veins as swallows to try and make space for Ilya’s cock in his throat. Daddy, he wants to sob, you’re ruining me.
i mean nearly all my wips have daddy kink in it 🙂↕️
shane who begs and begs and begs for ilya to fuck him after being teased for hours and ilya finally going ‘hmmm u are too greedy. u only get the tip.’ and shane doesn’t care he’ll take anything. so he ends up squatting over ilya, balancing so that only the head of ilya’s cock is inside him and he’s shaking and trembling and his cock is leaking all over them beggin ‘please please can i have it please—i can’t hold it anymore, it hurts. fuck please’ meanwhile ilya is enjoying the show, shanes muscles flexing and tensing as he tries to hold the position, his hole clenching around the tip while ilya jerks off ‘u can give up if u want, but i’ll be disappointed’ and it makes shane sobbbb because he wants to be good he wants to show off how strong he is he doesn’t want to lose. … yeah
first post for context / see the tag 'open relationship au' for more snippets or the masterlist so kindly put together by @tafkarfanfic. it's time <3 (or is it...?)
July 2015
Shane texts Brian that he had an unexpected brand opportunity come up and that he'll be out of town for a few days. Then he books it to his cottage.
It's maybe cowardly but just this once, Shane thinks he's fine being a coward. The thought of seeing Brian right now makes him feel uneasy, like being on the ice without any padding. The version of himself who thought he could love Brian again seems like a stranger to him now. Shane doesn't want to become him again but he can't trust his own judgment, so. Safer to stay away.
Being alone in the cottage helps him gain some equilibrium, even though the closer it gets to Ilya's plane touching down in Montreal, the slower time seems to pass and the more Shane feels like clawing his skin off.
He still kind of can't believe Ilya offered to come. It makes him oddly giddy thinking about it, sets off a flutter in his stomach like he's some teenager with a crush.
Rose said you should stay single, he reminds himself. But then, She doesn't know Ilya, though. She wouldn't have said that if she knew him.
God, he really is turning into a teenager.
It should feel scarier, considering his track record. Shane has no rational explanation for why it doesn't. Why, despite everything, Ilya feels so safe to him.
The day Ilya arrives in Montreal, Shane drives back home feeling miraculously calm. It's like locking in for a game, he reasons. He knows the play, knows he has teammates backing him up, so now he just has to execute it.
Shane beats Ilya to the apartment by a couple of hours. He experiences a brief moment of panic when he hears a knock on the door, a vivid imagine of Brian standing on the other side popping up in his head.
It's Ilya, of course, which does nothing to slow Shane's heart rate but does make his stomach swoop funnily.
"Hey," he says, breathless.
"Hey," Ilya replies softly. He looks a little bit shell-shocked, eyes scanning Shane's face like he can't believe he's real.
Shane wants to kiss him so bad.
But first thing's first.
Ilya doesn't join him for the actual breakup. Even Shane, with his compromised judgment, recognizes how crazy that would be. He stays in the car outside, which shouldn't be a problem because Shane doesn't plan on letting this drag out.
"It'll be ten, maybe fifteen minutes," Shane tells him. His hands feel sweaty around the wheel of his car so he removes them, rubbing them on his pants. "If I'm not back in twenty, you can come in."
Ilya's eyebrows quirk. "That's quick."
"I can't do a whole confrontation," Shane says. "I just need to tell him it's over. I don't - I don't owe him anything more than that."
It feels kind of true. Shane counts that as progress.
"You don't," Ilya agrees.
He takes Shane's hand, squeezing it. Shane squeezes back, the touch grounding him.
His palm still feel warm as he's knocking on Brian's door.
It takes Brian twenty-seven seconds to answer. There's a surreal moment as he opens the door that Shane braces himself, expecting some flood of emotions, only for nothing to happen.
Shane is looking at his boyfriend of eight years and he feels nothing.
Then his eyes catch on the yellowing bruise on Brian's cheek and something does stir - a hollow kind of pain at the center of his chest.
He lied about that bruise so easily, his story seemingly designed to knock Shane off-kilter.
What else has he been lying about?
"You're back," Brian says once the door is closed. He smiles. "You know, you could have let yourself in. That's why I gave you a key."
"Right." Shane reaches into his pocket, fist closing around said key. "I actually - I came to give it back."
Brian blinks. "Give it back?"
"And to break up with you," Shane adds.
It slips out and Shane immediately regrets how flippant he sounds. Brian laughs, because of course he thinks it's a joke.
"You're fucking with me, right?"
"I'm not."
Shane tries to hand him the key. Brian's arms stay stubbornly at his side, smile sliding off his face. Finally, Shane puts the key down on the counter instead.
"You're fucking with me," Brian repeats shakily. "I don't - is this because of Vegas? I thought we were moving past it. Things have been good between us since we talked it out."
It's an unpleasant reminder of how differently they've been viewing this relationship. "Things haven't been good. I haven't been happy."
"Then you're not trying hard enough." Brian takes a step towards him, hand held out. Shane steps back. "Shane." His voice turns pleading. "Please, think it through. You can't give up on us just like that."
"This isn't a spur of the moment decision," Shane says. He really didn't mean to get into it but God. Has Brian always talked to him like this, like he's a stupid kid who doesn't understand his own heart? "I haven't been happy with you for a while."
"Is this because of Rozanov?"
Irritation shoots through Shane. "Fuck off."
"It is," Brian says, eyes heated. "We didn't start having problems until you started fucking him."
"And whose idea was that?" Shane snaps. He huffs, uncertain if he's more angry at Brian for making this so difficult or at himself for getting distracted. "It doesn't matter. I wasn't happy before we opened the relationship either. It's - you're not good for me. I don't think you ever were."
Brian laughs incredulously. "I get it. You need me to be the bad guy, huh?"
"That's not what I said."
"Might as well have. If I'm so awful, what does that make you? Why would you choose to be with someone who apparently makes you so miserable?"
"I was sixteen." Shane feels his shoulder hunching, feels the way he's making himself smaller, and forces himself to straighten. "I didn't know any better. You took advantage of that."
Brian goes still. "You're kidding me. That's your excuse?"
Shane's stomach twists. "It's not a fucking excuse."
"I didn't even know your age."
It didn't stop you once you found out, Shane almost responds. He can't. He feels exhausted all of a sudden, imagining going through every shitty thing Brian has done, having to argue every point and listen to Brian try to minimize it or pretend there wasn't any harm.
Shane doesn't want to do any of that. He just wants to get out of here.
He wants to see Ilya.
"I'm not gonna do this with you," he says. "It's over. We're broken up. Have a nice life, or whatever."
He turns to leave and Brian grabs his arm. Shane shakes him off unthinkingly and Brian flinches back at the force of it.
"Shane." Brian's demeanor has shifted completely, voice gone soft, eyes pleading. "Please. I can't lose you."
It's incredibly unkind, but Shane can't help but think he's being pathetic.
"I've hurt you," Brian continues, taking Shane's hesitation as some sign of his willingness to listen. "I understand. I never meant to, but I did and I'd do anything to make it up to you."
He's not even saying sorry. All of these theatrics and Brian can't even be bothered to apologize. Shane wonders if he even realizes it.
He shouldn't be entertaining this. He's not actually gonna forgive Brian. And still, "You could start by telling me the truth."
"The truth?" Brian echoes.
"How you really got that bruise," Shane suggests mildly. "Why you came to Vegas. Why you even suggested an open relationship in the first place, when you were fucking other people already."
He doesn't mean to let that last question slip but it's been eating at him since Rose suggested the possibility. He takes no pleasure in seeing Brian's face pale and knowing that she was right.
"Who have you been talking to?"
Shane wants to punch something. He wants to throw up. He didn't think it was possible for him to care so much when he doesn't even want Brian anymore, but it hurts all the same.
Rose was wrong. Shane is stupid. Naive and too trusting for his own good.
"It didn't mean anything," Brian is saying. His voice sounds far away. "It was a moment of weakness. You're the only one I love, the only one I've ever loved."
A sharp knock thankfully interrupts him. Before either of them can react the (apparently unlocked) door swings open.
"It's been twenty minutes," Ilya says. He shoots Brian a dismissive glance before focusing his attention on Shane. "Are you finished?"
Shane has never been happier to see him. "Yeah. Yeah, let's go."
"You can't be serious," Brian says weakly.
Shane ignores him. He reaches the door, allows Ilya to place his hand on the small of his back and guide him past the threshold.
Brian doesn't protests again. Maybe it's finally sinking in for him that it's useless. Maybe seeing Shane with Ilya made him stop wanting to try. Or maybe he fucking spontaneously combusted.
ilya dropping shane off in the middle of the woods and telling him the challenge is he has to find his way home with no supplies or guide tools but actually ilya is hunting him 🥰🥰🥰
Okay okay it's late I can post a sneaky dark fic premise shush nobody say anything SHUSH!!!
Basically, kidnapper au where Ilya holds Shane hostage at his own cottage. Shane is initially tied up and bound BUT he gradually gains certain "privileges" as time goes on and he behaves - bathroom, showers (all escorted and supervised), no manacles while he sleeps, longer chains so he can move around, even leisure activities later down the line. The only constant is he stays blindfolded the entire time and Ilya never speaks.
Eventually, the sensory deprivation makes Shane wholly dependent on Ilya as his sole source of companionship, specifically Ilya's touch because it's the only point of human contact he has. Shane becomes so reliant on Ilya that eventually the worst punishment Ilya can dole out is just,,, leaving him alone. Shane is always so desperately panicked when Ilya returns, so so grateful, big heaving sobs as he clings to Ilya, as he begs him not to do it ever again, he'll take any other punishment, he'd rather be beaten or starved, he'd let Ilya break his legs, burn him, choke him, anything ANYTHING but being left alone in the dark and the quiet,,,
They're also fucking the entire time, so. The Stockholm syndrome sets in QUICK.
And okay the sensory deprivation is so so important to me. Because Ilya never talks, but Shane slooowly comes to know Ilya's sounds regardless: his grunts of exertion when he's pinning Shane down,,, his harsh panting breaths after a particularly brutal punishment,,, his moans of pleasure when he's inside Shane,,, his derisive little exhalations at Shane's eventual pleading,,, his rolling warm laughter,,, the slow cadence of his breaths during slumber,,,
And then there's the way he smells, the way he tastes,,, the precise texture of his palms, his skin,,, every raised mole, every hair,,, Shane learns it all by heart
@sapphyshipseverything absolutely NAILING the core appeal of the sensory deprivation aspect of this au:
this au was made in a lab for me you have no idea!!!!!! I’m also thinking that the sensory deprivation really helps to make Shane even more submissive and desperate to please. Because he gets so little sensory input and so few indications of Ilya’s pleasure/displeasure with him, every tiny scrap of information is blown up to epic proportions in his mind, every bit of feedback feeling like a life or death situation. Like now the quietest, bitten back moan Ilya makes as he pushes inside Shane makes him feel victorious, the slight exhale of breath through his nose when he’s displeased makes him feel suicidal, the sound of Ilya’s hand as it slaps his face feels like relief, because he’s still worthy of being corrected. He grows to hate his own sounds because they drown that feedback out, begs for a gag because he wants to be able to hear Ilya better, kisses his feet in relief when he lets him wear one.
(I think if Ilya did decide to talk or let him see him, he would go catatonic for a bit, not just because of the reveal but because being able to see Ilya’s reactions would feel like seeing God. Worshippers aren’t supposed to actually meet their gods, they’re supposed to infer their moods from obscure and confusing signs in the world around them)
goshhhh I love that hudson plays show!shane as way more emotionally vulnerable than book!shane. show!shane is always rolling over and showing ilya his soft underbelly (often without even realizing it) and ilya is always like AAA AAAAAAAA YOU CAN’T DO THAT YOU CAN’T LET PEOPLE SEE YOU FEEL and then shane’s big brown eyes start getting all shiny/wet with tears and his bottom lip wobbles a little and ilya is like well now I have to kms. or take care of you forever. AGH
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