dog with a blog @dogmillionaire - Tumblr Blog

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"

maxpawb

oidial

yeaa... thats burger of my saturday, thats burger..... :)

she's burger!!!!!!!!!

me: [posting in the maid gc] yeah my lady screamed at me and threw bottles at my head cus i talked while she was reading her novellas again. any advice

maid 1: poison her

maid 2: yea poison her

maid 3: i have a connect on some really strong untraceable poisons if you want

me: girls she makes me try all of her food before she eats it how am i gonna poison her

maid 1: put it in her mouth while she sleeps

maid 2: ^this. worked like a charm for my sister

maid 3: yeah dm me i have a bunch of techniques that might work

maid 4: have you tried seducing her? maybe she just needs to have her heart warmed so she may show you the kindness you deserve

maid 2: MARY

maid 1: cmon mary

maid 3: just because YOUR lady has sex with you doesn't mean everyone's lady does

me: no wait she does like to put her fingers in my mouth to check if i swallowed her food. and i'm pretty sure she squeezed my ass once

maid 4: yeah exactly. message me i can tell yoy more

maid 3: whatever. if you need the poison just hit me up

maid 5: girls do you know how to get wine out of satin

maid 1: how recent is the spill

maid 5: a few days old

maid 2: you're fucked

squeakitties

beast name of tangerine

squeakitties

posting the other ones here too :3

angel-advise

*notices my ice cream has more sprinkles than yours* how's it feel to be a sprinklet? idiot. dumbass *trips and drops my ice cream* can i have a lick of yours if you say no i'll cry

angel-advise

does anyone else think this post is kind of bad ass, and that the girl who trips over is probably awesome and has huge boobs?

chongoblog

See, if your one of your computer keys ever break, then it’s a real challenge to work around using certain words. Or you could just replace the letter with something else, but what do you replace it with? That’s the REAL 😩uestion

sackboy166

roconize

Bad Content #31

nyancrimew

> "mom and pop" store

> look inside

> my parents don't work there

beesmygod

i hate shelleys new terrible game she wants to play for hours called "wet string" where she soaks a hoodie string in her water dish until its soaked and then screams at me to pick it up and wiggle it, even though its cold and sucks. then she hooks a single claw into the string and stares at me until i remove her claw and then she does it all over again

beesmygod

THIS SUCKS

blastdamage

the paris catacombs are 1000x more fucked up than i imagined

blastdamage

did you know the cops once found a fully functioning movie theater with a well-stocked bar inside the catacombs and they when they tried to go back later to formally investigate it was completely emptied out save for a note that read "don't search for us"

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

Underground french cinema

npd-vriska

my little bro is part of the catacombs community and yeah, it's basically a fully autonomous society! enough that when my bro goes in on a friday night, they don't come out until monday for work- sometimes longer if they took days off.

some of the rooms have fully stocked pantries with cooking equipment, some have movies like the one described above, some have books you're allowed to just take but people always put back- every day people bring things from the outside. artists often set up galleries there. there are rooms with mattresses and hammocks set up for people to sleep. one of the room is just a place where people leave shoes for the fun of it.

this is Known, it's not a secret by any means. the catacombs are as big as paris itself, and people live there just as people live above. it's wonderful when you think about it.

npd-vriska

A little update! My little bro is now my little sister. Please don't misgender her :)