wotcher

thirty year old nerdy socially awkward something

[riverlarking]

sometimes in knitting you just have to go 'nobody but me will notice this mistake' and keep going

[bundibird]

I highly recommend doing the same thing in life.

[introvertsnation]

[scorpionlafemme]

[pnglove]

[fairycosmos]

my dead wife. the ad free internet

[winonaparadise]

"a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips" is so fucking crazy to me because that just sounds like a win/win

[funnier-as-a-feedist]

prev you're changing my brain chemistry

[cream2luv]

following new blogs with no common mutuals like im introducing a new species to the ecosystem

[kosmogrl]

[kosmogrl]

[soundcarvings]

I’m kinda feeling a bit of everything these days and also nothing

[dearparentheses]

Tokuhiro Kawai

[miamaimania]

Abandoned buildings reclaimed by the desert sands ➤ Kolmanskop, a ghost town frozen in time. ph. Mark Daniel

[terracotta7]

As if Joanne couldn't get any shittier, she misgendered and insulted a woman who called for support, all because the woman had PCOS/PMOS and "didn't sound feminine enough."

Fuck her.

Your shitty children's series isn't more important than people's lives.

[official-anti-jkr-posts]

This would be equally as shitty if the woman who was misgendered and insulted was trans instead of having PCOS btw

This is an official anti-JKR post

[butcherrypie]

I think its pretty fucked up she's recording calls to a rape helpline tbh

[wordfather]

not my circus not my monkeys but thanks to my mutuals i know some of the lore

[myjetpack]

My latest New Scientist cartoon

[lesserjoke]

Things that sound fake but actually happen in the first Tarzan novel (1912)

Tarzan grows up in the jungle because the sailors on his parents’ ship mutiny and maroon them there. Two decades later, the sailors on his cousin’s ship ALSO mutiny and maroon him and Jane in the exact same area where Tarzan happens to live

He’s raised by apes after his parents die because one of them who’s been carrying around her own dead baby is moved by the maternal spirit to drop its corpse in Tarzan’s crib and pick up the human baby instead

Tarzan teaches himself how to read and write fluent English by reading his parents’ old books

He later leaves Jane and co. really passive-aggressive notes telling them that he’s Tarzan and they better not touch his stuff

Tarzan also rescues them from various jungle troubles in person, but he can’t communicate with them because he can’t speak/understand spoken English

Jane and her friends spend their entire time in the jungle thinking that there are TWO DIFFERENT people who keep saving them: their reclusive host who leaves them salty messages and signs his name Tarzan of the Apes and then that other guy who lives with the apes

Literally they never put two and two together until Tarzan tracks them down in America and tells them he was Tarzan all along

Which he does in French

Because back in the jungle he rescued a French guy who taught him how to speak that language

So Tarzan can read and write English but speaks only French by the time he leaves the jungle

Jane goes back to America while Tarzan is off helping his French friend, and he follows her all the way home just to arrive the day before she’s gonna marry a rich guy to cover her father’s debts. It’s literally one of those Taylor Swift STOP THE WEDDING tropes, but with this weirdly buff ape man yelling in French instead

Jane’s father has debts because he borrowed a ton of money to charter a ship and follow a pirate treasure map he found, which, logical. We’ve all been there

The sailors on that ship are the ones who mutiny and maroon Jane earlier on, after finding the treasure and deciding they want to keep it for themselves

But Tarzan sees them rebury the chest and he digs it up and takes it with him to America to find Jane. The sailors are later very confused when they go back and find the treasure missing

Meanwhile Tarzan’s friend keeps trying to convince him that he’s the son of those two adult skeletons in his cabin, but Tarzan is all like, nah, I’m pretty sure that baby ape skeleton in the crib was theirs.

Oh also yeah, Tarzan totally just left all three skeletons lying around until his human friends showed up and were like, boy, you’re nasty

Also Tarzan needs a lot of convincing to believe that his ape foster mom wasn’t his birth mother

Like an absurd amount of convincing, really

His friend finally proves it by dragging Tarzan to a fingerprint expert in Europe to compare his prints to the baby ones that his dad fortuitously recorded in his journal just before he died.

The fingerprint proof means he’s actually the heir to his family’s title and wealth instead of his cousin, but he decides not to tell Jane about it

Because after Tarzan interrupts her wedding plans and gives her the pirate treasure (so that she doesn’t have to marry the rich guy), she turns down Tarzan’s own proposal and agrees to marry his cousin instead

And he’s like, alright, and leaves

Truly one of the great love stories of our time

I think she does change her mind and marry him in one of the sequels, but there are literally over two dozen of those that by all accounts are even weirder than this one and I just honestly don’t think I’m ready

[mademoiseli]

Was Edgar Rice Burroughs ok?

[nightcrawler-fan]

@markhamillz

[itsdoomisaudible-deactivated202]

This is accurate and that book was amazing 10/10 recommend every time Burroughs was a real weirdo and it was so much better than the movie please read his nonsense

[phantomchick]

I read this book and I can attest to the accuracy of the above statements.

But I feel the need to add that Edgar Rice Burroughs was a salty mofo!  He threw such shade, what a dude.

Ok so here’s the story; he was working as a pencil sharpener wholesalemen for seven years (I know, startlingly mundane) when his wife had their second kid in 1909, he was bored beyond occupation and had copious spare time and began reading pulp-fiction magazines. In 1929, he recalled thinking that

“…if people were paid for writing rot such as I read in some of those magazines, that I could write stories just as rotten. As a matter of fact, although I had never written a story, I knew absolutely that I could write stories just as entertaining and probably a whole lot more so than any I chanced to read in those magazines.”

So what I’m telling you here is, this guy read something went this is TRASH, i could write better trash, in fact I WILL.

[mikkeneko]

An inspiration to us all.

[kosmogrl]

[kosmogrl]