Noah Kahan
Cosmic Funnies

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TVSTRANGERTHINGS

Janaina Medeiros
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

oozey mess
tumblr dot com

ellievsbear

Product Placement
macklin celebrini has autism

Origami Around
DEAR READER
Jules of Nature
Show & Tell
NASA
ojovivo
Cosimo Galluzzi

Discoholic 🪩
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵

seen from Canada
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seen from Malaysia
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@dominussentinel
sorry but this video is like a parasitic species to me
Literal TEARS in my eyes rn
In the late 1970s a glowing orb appeared in the sky. Every day at about 5:00 Greenwich standard time, the orb would go somewhere new, shoot out something similar to a laser, and kill one person. Every day, always at the same time, always exactly one person.
The person killed by the orb seemed completely random, with almost fifty years of studying it we've been able to find no rhythm or reason to who it kills. It kills the old, the young, the rich, the poor, the urban, the rural, anyone. Every human on earth seems to have an equal chance of being killed by the orb. It's a headline the few times someone of note is killed by the orb: Britain famously lost a Parliament member to the orb, Brazil to this day remains the only country where a head of state was killed by the orb while in office, there was a short lived sitcom in the 1990s called Freinds that ended halfway through its first season due to the orb killing one of the main actors on set. However, these are outliers, on any given day the person who dies via orb is very likely to be someone you never heard of. There are billions of people on earth, and only one is killed by the orb every day. In almost fifty years only a little over 18000 have died because of the orb, which is nothing in the face of the sheer amount of humans that exist.
When the orb first appeared people were horrified. Both the US and USSR thought it was a weapon from the other side. Almost every religion made some claim of it being proof of their beliefs, oftentimes claiming it was divine punishment. Atheists claimed it was proof no loving God could exist. People were so very apocalyptic and horrified by it, they thought of it as part of the end times, because when it was new that's really how it looked.
However, it's been long enough so that's changed. Most people have lived their entire lives in a world where the orb exists. The orb isn't that scary a concept. People know their odds of being killed by it are low and that it's not going to end the world or anything. The orb has become normal, and we've accepted that the orb is just something that kills people the same way cancer, or heart attacks, or natrual disasters, or car crashes kill people. In the nineteen eighties there were efforts to find a way to stop the orb, but it's since proven to be extremely difficult, and it's as distant and nebulous as finding a cure for cancer. When a community is struck by the orb you'll see that community in mourning, but it's not a global thing anymore.
So people grow up learning about the orb, as part of science, like anything else. A lot of gen z remembers learning about the orb from Magic School Bus. It's just something normal. There are a few people with an orb hyperfixation, and a few cults that give the orb importance but it's not most people's concern. The orb is how we first confirmed that interdimensional objects existed and are possible. A lot of people theorize dimensional studies wouldn't exist without it, meaning without the orb we might not have thermitizers or grand drives, we might not even have a moon base without the orb. Some have even rather tastelessly claimed that the orb has saved more lives at this point that its taken with all the knowledge it's given us.
Which is why I regret to inform you, that just last week, without warning, the orb killed two people in one day. And for the past seven days it's been killing two people instead of just one. Nobody knows why.
my amulet collection :)
I feel like folks who are only familiar with Christian Baby from the baseball meme are missing out on account of being unaware that there are a whole bunch of these hypothetical scenarios in which it's established that Christian Baby can talk and puts itself in these situations on purpose.
💬 1 🔁 10 ❤️ 26 · "heaps of money"
💬 0 🔁 15 ❤️ 29
Hang on hang on there’s so many of these. I hit the image limit give me one second
Why are there so many of these
Why is this baby actively threatening me to convert. that seems like an illegal way of conversion
Fucking Yaldabaoth all along. I hate the Demiurge.
half gallon jar (empty) - $20
half gallon jar (full of pickles) - $6
secretary birds look pretty normal but for some reason people have collectively decided to photograph them like they're [takes a moment to find an acceptable way to say this] women
<-normal bird photography | typically reserved for pin-up posters ->
Would you beat your current phone/computer wallpaper in a 1v1 fight?
I would pound their ass immediately.
I would, but I choose not too (for moral reasons).
Fair chances on both.
I would be the one getting slimed.
…what.
*you have to provide an image
i think if i asked peter thiel for 500 million dollars, and told him that my business plan was to spend 499 million of that on oil futures, and the remaining 1 million ordering the entire stock of pizza, burgers, fries, shakes, jamba juices, schitzels, fucking wetzels pretzels, the whole lot, within 50 miles of the pentagon, just to see if i could blow up the pentagon pizza index enough to move global oil markets 0.2% and recoup my losses... i think that if i asked him that, in those exact words, he would give me 1 billion dollars just to see if i could do it twice. and i would try. god forgive me i would try.
this is less about being smart and more about having some small pearl of evil lodged in the center of your being. you lack the evil pearl. thats okay. not all of us can be descendants of wicked oyster men.
#“descendents of the evil oyster man” wins the 2026 prize for “most baffling DNI”
Please don't go somewhere where I cant follow
🪄 lingwizard Follow
Magilinguistics and magiconlinguistics are so underrated. The idea that the specific language and syntax used to cast a spell can alter the efficiency and flow of a spell is amazing; it’s honestly infuriating how many people, including many mages, think Latin is the only valid conjuring language even though glossolalia is a WELL-DOCUMENTED PHENOMENON. I use many other languages in various spells and it’s really fun. Would recommend.
🪶 featherspells Follow
YOU CAN DO THAT? YOU CAN TRANSLATE LATIN SPELLS INTO A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE AND THEY’LL WORK!?! EVEN YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE?!
🌱 gandalfbignaturals Follow
Yeah, welcome to the club! Using your native language isn’t recommended for summoning forces from other realms, though. The portals tend to collapse if you do that.
🗝️ keytomychest Follow
Wait wait wait, I just consulted my familiar about this, is magiconlinguistics modifying or inventing an entire language to optimize your magic? Because that sounds like something both extremely commendable and also batshit insane.
🌳 druid-ruin Follow
Yeah, that’s basically exactly what it is. We’re surprisingly pretty chill. I mean, except for that one time where someone hyper-optimized Taikureiden Suomen Kieli V5 to create the first, and most dangerous, known instance of the Everything-Damage Fireball spell, but we usually don’t talk about that.
🪄 lingwizard Follow
Ah, Taikureiden Suomen Kieli, the most absolutely broken magilang to ever exist. Go Finland, give us more fucked-up spells!
🪶 featherspells Follow
wait, the Everything-Damage Fireball is REAL? I thought you guys were joking.
🌳 druid-ruin Follow
We WERE joking. ONCE.
🔥 icastfireball Follow
on one hand, this is really cool and all, but on the other hand, i'm scared of what this can do. However, on the secret third hand, i kinda wanna modify a language to make demonic creatures physically sick upon hearing it, cause i wanna do a little trolling.
🪄 lingwizard Follow
Grand Mage Amara Lightningchain coming up with the idea for the Volapük Silananazunik experiments be like:
🔥 icastfireball Follow
hold on let me look something up
🔥 icastfireball Follow
wh. what the fuck
Opened insta reels for the first time in months and I think it might literally be hell
rip god from his throne and set fire to his false heaven with mama
you can be a shapeshifter but once you change your shape you need to remain in it for at least one week taking the deal?
yes
no
results