Dufus McSquirtlebottom III @donthurtmycupcake - Tumblr Blog

sweatermuppet

very skilled at having a headache

this too shall pass

HURRY UP

>Be me

>Make bowl of panda express leftovers

>Chow down on 2/3rds of it before father calls you over to show you memes

>Leave bowl unattended

>Laugh about memes for a good ten minutes

>Return to room

>??Bat? In bowl? ?

>Don't have anything to grab bat with that are bite proof

>Offer bat the head of the Winston Churchill marble bust to climb onto

>Bat does so

>Slowly carry Churchill and the bat to the window

>Bat won't let go of Churchill

>Pry bat off of him with nearby plastic skeleton hand

>Bat sits on windowsill for a second before flying off into the night

moldsporr

Artists interpretation

moldsporr

We gotta shoot lower this is at best a 30 note post

@creatures-in-posts

Creature spotted!

Safety first!

Woah mama just reminding my followers that TERF ideology is fundamentally evil and not welcome anywhere near my blog hummina hummina hummina

eiderducksonofhumperdink

Protecting genuine women is „fundamentally evil“?

elvis-official

Protecting women is one of the most noble things you can do. Unfortunately you don't do that

anti-terf-posts

official anti terf post

elvis-official

Woah mama I'm getting certification now

entropybegets

amberautumnfaebrooke

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

sociallyawkwardrevolution

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

chronictranssexuality

"you don't owe anyone anything" You are a tar pit. Speak for yourself. I personally owe the cafe employees my dishes put away and my friends a listening ear and small scared insects a cup and a gentle trip outside. Hyperindividualism is a rancid infection borne of capitalism and willfully misinterpreted therapyspeak and I will defy it by continuing to be kind regardless of whether or not it benefits me personally

dienothemink

sometimes i say “i think” but actually i know. on account of being the knower.

nightmaretour

This disability pride month I'm BEGGING you to acknowledge and care about the people in this community who often fly under the radar when it comes to positivity and information. People who require equipment to live, like ventilators, pacemakers, and feeding tubes. People who are bedbound. People with visible differences. People who have disabilities caused by things like substance abuse, overdose, or self harm. People with conditions so rare that they've never met someone who has the same one. People who need full time care and have to have help to use social media.

If you want to support the community, that means supporting all of the community. Disability pride means being proud of every last one of us, and making sure everyone feels heard. Make sure to amplify the voices of those who need it this month, and ideally for the rest of the year too.

green-is-gay

i dont WANT pride months to be over,

on the other hand...

mitskiesque

they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

snapcracklepop-myjoints

"what if that homeless person you gave money to spends it on alcohol ???😱" first of all alcohol withdrawal kills people and if theyre not in a safe place to detox (unlikely if they dont have a fucking home) this is literally harm reduction. second of all if they are not in danger of withdrawal thats fine too because im not a little baby bitch who thinks people have to earn the right to have a fucking drink by passing the "must be this tall housed to ride" test. third of all i would have spent it on alcohol also. so now what.

theocseason4

what does this mean

tupacabra

every time he pees she gets a car

dear-julien

and every time we kiss i swear i can fly

mikehasfleas

Most annoying thing to remember is that you're litterally just a homosapien. You're just a very smart animal. If you feel like shit, imagine you're an exotic pet for some alien species and do what they'd do to keep you healthy. You gotta be well cared for. Animal abuse is a crime for a reason

"My pet human, Greg, hasn't left his bed in a long time. He's just scrolling his phone all day" Greg needs enrichment. Add enrichment in his enclosure and take him on walks

"Greg has been super lethargic and sad recently for seemingly no reason" Greg need vitamins, take him outside for some vitamin D and fresh air. Perhaps a picnic

"Greg won't sleep even though he's been super lethargic" Greg needs a schedule, especially for the lights in his enclosure.

"Greg has been super distant recently and keeps crying to sad music" Humans are pack animals, he needs to hug another human and hang out. Perhaps pack bond with a rock together

"Greg has been flailing around and panicking, his breathing is way faster than it should be" Greg is overwhelmed. Take Greg out of the situation and give him time to calm down. Perhaps somewhere cozy with tea and a movie

"Greg won't do what he needs to do" Train him. Humans do great with positive reinforcement, give him little treats when he's doing good

"Greg he's been super anxious and tired, he can't seem to enjoy his days" Humans needs to move around. Give Greg something to exercise with. Things like stretching, weight lifting, walking, or even dancing will help

"Even though I've taken really good care of Greg, he still has been having issues" Greg is ill, take him to the doctor. You might need a specialist (therapist, optometrist, oncologist, etc)

I know it feels patronizing, and I know it feels embarrassing or that you're "just giving into the clichés", but you are literally just a creature. You need to sleep/eat on time, you need enrichment, and you need to take care of your social needs. Humans are complicated animals, but they are also beautiful and all deserve proper care. This obviously isn't a perfect analogy, nothing is, but if you saw your friend taking care of their pet the way you take care of yourself, would you be concerned?