In Omnia Paratus

I am an insanely awkward 20 year old.

[gaycism]

Murder at Disney

[neuroticgaymusings-deactivated2]

If Edna dissed me like that I’d have to throw my whole self in the trash out of shame.

[reverseracism]

[amateur]

What’s happening on Twitter? 😂

[ruinedchildhood]

https://twitter.com/smashmouth/status/992478669435060224?s=19

[steampunktallulah]

Love smash mouth

[ryonceagsalud]

What’s going on this year

[ruinedchildhood]

What is happening? 😂

[victorious]

[thefishychicken]

LMAO He just said he does

[ruinedchildhood]

https://twitter.com/TheRock/status/588913900789309440?s=19

[natural--blues]

[imanambulance]

LMAO reblogging again because of 5he sass from dictionary.com 😂😂

[ultracheese]

[awildpaige]

Y'all know when you get wrecked by the damn dictionary you’re a fool

[starsberrisnunicorns]

Never Forget 😂

[usedtobe-a-crazygirlthinking]

The best fucking post on here

[ruinedchildhood]

[trashpandagamer]

IT’S BACK

[boylikeme94]

Thread was missing my fave part.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

MR THE ROCK JOHNSON

[ryebreadgf]

imagine: the one direction reunion 😍😍

[hstylesgallery]

Harry Styles for Beauty Papers Magazine Issue 8. (photo by Casper Sejersen)

[hstylesgallery]

Harry Styles for Beauty Papers Magazine. (photo by Casper Sejersen)

[fanonical]

shoutout to zonkos joke shop for having the best name in the wizarding world

[argumate]

[jasper-rolls]

like, i’m pretty sure tiktok has existed for longer than vine did at this point but i’m yet to actually see an “iconic” tiktok. like people always caption like “this tiktok is ICONIC” but i’ve never seen one stay in the public consciousness for any longer than the 2 minutes it appears on my timeline. i never see people quote tiktoks or like, act them out with their friends or anything, not a single tiktok i’ve seen has had any actual staying power

meanwhile i can just say like “ROAD work ahead?” and i would bet a good chunk of you have just read that in the guy’s voice. i still see people tag things like “i wish i was jared, 19″. one night at the bar where i work we started an impromptu dance party purely by saying “hi, i’m renata bliss, and i’ll be your freestyle dance teacher”

i guess brevity really is the soul of wit

[gahdamnpunk]

Harley Quinn got out of an abusive relationship, is looking better than ever and would break those men’s knees if they tried to breathe in her direction

[jenny-jinya]

Can we like, not support circuses like that anymore?

[onemillionfurbies]

HEY SO MY MOM ATTEMPTED TO MAKE ME A FURBY CAKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND UHHH

it ended up looking like this. we were both losing our absolute shit at it so i proceeded to take extremely cursed photos of it

i love my mom so much

[galahadwilder]

Well she def got the spirit of furbies down pat

[ruinedchildhood]

[reservedvomit-deactivated201501]

oh the nineties

[forsciencejohn]

i know right that dress is terrible

[whitepeopletwitter]

[lorem64]

I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!

[ankaa-avarshina]

Two words: Raw eggs.

[lorem64]

?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe

[ankaa-avarshina]

Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on

[phantoms-lair]

*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.

MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.

Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.

Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.

[crayyola-deactivated20220827]

Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom

[antique-scarecrow]

wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???

[kingantlion-deactivated20231130]

Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?

[magicalgirlpropaganda]

The whole self love thing is good and all but some people can’t fathom being loved. They can’t imagine there being anything good about them. So they can’t simply just stop doing unhealthy things, there’s a process.

[sandersstudies]

Before self love you have to invoke self tolerance and self neutrality.

[sandersstudies]

If you can’t say “I love my body!” say “my body gets me from place to place.”

If you can’t say “I’m beautiful,” begin by shutting down the “I’m ugly” thoughts and saying “I’m a person.”

If you can’t say “I’m valuable” begun by shutting down the “I’m worthless” thoughts and say “all people deserve basic respect, and I’m a person.”

If you can’t say “I’m important,” or “I’m kind” say “I am the one who waters my plant every week” or “I am the one who tips the kind barista down the street” or “I am the one who makes sure my dog does not eat plastic” or “I am the one who leaves long comments on people’s fan fictions.”

[closetedguyy]

I’ve genuinely never seen a way to bridge the gap, especially body-wise. There’s loads about self-confidence and loving your body EVERYWHERE, but no one really explains how to get there. It’s great to have the former, but I’m glad this info is out there.

[littlebluerivers]

there is no force of nature that says “come here” like the ocean

[kaijuno]

That’s the sirens bitch

[rebelwhodoesntknow]

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, now in quarantine