One Punch is All I Need!

So mean I make medicine sick.

[doomfist-speaks]

You're part of Talon so can you answer me this? Why are all the Talon members little jellybeans? You are absolutely adorable when you laugh it smile Olivia just wants friends and is pretty much in it for the kicks Moira is just a big ol' science dork Amélie is posh and it's really sad what Talon did to her 😭😭 And Gabriel deserves better than what happened to him and made him turn to Talon and he just likes to dress up Yall are so cute!!

I have been receiving these messages for some time now. While it pains me to indulge such nonsense, this anonymous asker has asked me something interesting. Why do we appear so cute? 

It is nothing but to indulge the masses. It is merely PR for our organization, ensuring cooperation with our strike team. The only reason I am telling all of you this is because you likely won’t care. Overwatch needs more than to roll on a croc-wearing posterchild if they want the public back on their side. 

What’s more, none of you will expect our agents’ true intentions. Despite how ‘sad’ Lacroix’s transformation is, @widowmakerspeaks does not care. She was programmed not to care. You will cry about how sad she cannot feel that you will probably not see the bullet coming. No matter how brutal it was when @reaperspeaks converted, he will show you just how willing he is to kill for us.

Oh, and I’ve recently been informed a new swimsuit calendar is being released. Have fun with that!

[tracerspeaks]

Are you aware that the crocs manufacturer is shutting down?

WHAT

[doomfist-speaks]

Heheheheh...haha...HAHAHA! AHAHAHA!

Consider this an engagement gift, @tracerspeaks.

[doomfist-speaks]

One year from 2076 (the year you bunch are living in) the world will be engulfed in a flurry of nuclear fire and radioactive fallout. But that will not stop mankind from spilling blood over the charred ground that Earth will become.

You have an odd interpretation of the future, my friend. Unless you are gifted in some form of fortune-telling, I would like to correct you. The nations of our world are in no position that allows them to destroy each other with such outdated, primitive weapons. The reason why I know that, is that I have made sure of this myself.

If it were ever come to pass, then all of my hard work, as well as Overwatch’s, would have been for nothing. Humanity would be sent back into the stone age, and worse for it. 

But one must never assume that armageddon is on the horizon. Precautions can be made, but no one will ever rise higher over themselves if they believe it will only end in ashes. 

[doomfist-speaks]

What candidates do you have in mind for future Talon recruits? Both specific individuals and generalized positions are fine. I look forward to receiving your reply...

An interesting question. Our organization is spread across the globe, participating in enterprises that exist inside and outside of the law. Thus, we are always looking for talented individuals in many fields. Field agents are always welcome, such as Reaper and our very own Widowmaker, but much of our work is done in the shadows as well. Particularly, we enjoy entrepeneurs, accountants, lawmakers, and extremely visionary researchers and scientists. I know @moiraspeaks might welcome others who share the same ideals of science as her. 

Such is why Talon succeeds where others do not. Our enemy only sees the threat in front of them, where instead we are EVERYWHERE. If any decide to sign up for Talon and build humanity’s future, you will be well rewarded.

[doomfist-speaks]

You're so cute but murderous at the same time Your laugh is the most precious thing

Thank you…? 

I’m going to have @sombra–speaks start monitoring whoever sends these weird compliments. You are nice, but a little too nice.

[doomfist-speaks]

I’ve always wanted to ask: are the stripes on your face, face paint or is it a tattoo?

That would be face paint, friend. It looks intimidating, and  it is part of my culture--but there are times when I must wear something else, to blend in or look well dressed, 

[doomfist-speaks]

Okay, okay, consider this: Another Doomfist gauntlet, for your left hand. Just so you're not asymmetrical., you see.

I’d rather much prefer being able to move fine with one then be stifled with two. And if you haven’t noticed, asymmetry is in these days. Have you seen Hanzo’s left nipple?

[sombra--speaks-deactivated20230]

Ey chica, did u ever get DOOM to run on the Doomfist itself?

Oooooh why did I never thing of that before? That sounds fun. Hey @doomfist-speaks want an upgrade?

[doomfist-speaks]

Not after your last debug, @sombra--speaks . I can still hear that awful “Despacito” song whenever I activate my meteor strike.

[humming-fly]

You kinda get the impression that impulsively killing off 3/5ths of an organization might’ve resulted in some more desperate recruitment strategies 

Bonus:

[overwatchspeaks]

Fan Server!

Our fan server has reopened!  Feel free to join and interact with us!  https://discord.gg/uErfWsc

[akapostart]

wtf did I just done.

don’t draw team talon when you’re listening to Barbie girl 

[akapostart]

sorry but I’m just can’t stop doing this

[doomfist-speaks]

@moiraspeaks @reaperspeaks @sombra--speaks @widowmakerspeaks

Nice to have the group back together after so many years...

[doomfist-speaks]

@widowmakerspeaks

There is an Omnic ambassador preparing a summit with Russian officials. You are needed in the Russian Omnium to ‘talk shop’ with them. Take @dvaspeaks and a few of our new MEKA units with you. Do not fail me.

[doomfist-speaks]

@moiraspeaks​

In front of Moira’s room, a box addressed to her would rest by her door. Inside contained a varied assortment of nuts and chocolates, a bough of flowers, and a claddagh ring. A crown adorns a finely shaped emerald, locked together by a pair of hands.

 A card inscribed with gold lacing read: “To my favorite Doctor, Scientist, and woman of great sass. I highly regard you, and I believe I should make more of an effort of to recognize what you have done for us. Let us bring together our ethic and vision to achieve our ambitions~Akande.”

[oxtonspeaks-blog]

She’d wake up, all elbows and pyjama pants, authentic Irish whiskey filling her mug as she prepared to face the day. Upon opening her door, Dr. O’Deorain would nearly trip from the gift’s unfortunate position, recovering with a well-timed fade into a standing position. Her first reaction was to glare balefully at it…before scooping it in her good hand and skimming the note. She’d slip the ring into her pocket, having willed away any memories of similar gestures from a lifetime ago (and the prickling in her eye she tried so hard to get rid of) before retiring back into her room, whiskey forgotten. She’d popped a chocolate into her mouth as the sun’s pink first rays had graced her quarters with their radiant light, a genuine (if small) smile etched on her face for what’d been the first time in months.

[doomfist-speaks]

@moiraspeaks​

In front of Moira’s room, a box addressed to her would rest by her door. Inside contained a varied assortment of nuts and chocolates, a bough of flowers, and a claddagh ring. A crown adorns a finely shaped emerald, locked together by a pair of hands.

 A card inscribed with gold lacing read: “To my favorite Doctor, Scientist, and woman of great sass. I highly regard you, and I believe I should make more of an effort of to recognize what you have done for us. Let us bring together our ethic and vision to achieve our ambitions~Akande.”

[doomfist-speaks]

If you had no repercussions, what would you do to Tracer and/or Emily?

Trying to get me to stir the pot? You would make for an excellent member of Talon. As I promised to Doctor O’deorain, I have no intention of harming her niece regardless of consequences. She means very little in the grand scheme of things, and I have no taste for blind cruelty.

Tracer is merely an obstacle, a potential nuisance in her attempt to restart Overwatch. I would be welcome to just destroy her accelerator and fade from time for good. 

[oxtonspeaks-blog]

Attention to all Talon and Overwatch Personnel.

Lena Oxton’s girlfriend, Emily O'Deorain, is not to be trifled with.

This includes using her as leverage, which some of you are wont to do. Any threats or action against her will be met with severe physical reprimand from me, and likely Oxton.

For the less educated (which may well include all of you), this means I will rip your teeth from your mouth. Lena is free to do as she likes.

[doomfist-speaks]

This message comes with my authority. However, consider it a personal mission I am assigning you when I ask that you get her away from the time-traveling pain in our behinds. Either recruit her to Talon, discourage her from continuing to be on Overwatch, I care little how. Or kill her girlfriend yourself, which should fix things.

This goes to our agents as well. Heed her words wisely.

[tracerspeaks]

I’m not so easy to kill, you know that. And if Talon lays a finger on my girlfriend I’ll sock you in the throat so hard you’ll be beggin’ for Aunt M to start rippin’ out teeth. 

[emily--speaks]

I’m not currently an Overwatch agent, but the next time I am threatened or if any action is taken against me by Talon, I will not hesitate to call Winston and join Overwatch. I refuse to be killed or worse.

I am not a pawn in your twisted game.

[doomfist-speaks]

Can you please read? Your aunt just warned my agents about trying to do anything to you, and I agreed. You should be lucky that you have such a brilliant doctor as your aunt.

[doomfist-speaks]

@orisaspeaks

You? You are supposed to challenge me?

I must admit, hearing of your little creator and her ambition to defeat me was intriguing. But you were scrap metal when I freed the Doomfist, and I have only gotten stronger. What is an omnic to a human, OR-15? 

Out of all of those I intend to rematch, perhaps you will be the one I pass on. Stick to guiding old ladies through traffic.