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wallacepolsom
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
dirt enthusiast
AnasAbdin
tumblr dot com
⁂
One Nice Bug Per Day
almost home
Origami Around
oozey mess
Three Goblin Art
sheepfilms
hello vonnie
occasionally subtle
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Sade Olutola
YOU ARE THE REASON
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seen from United States
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@dottly
usamericans living in houses made out of paper set an impossible standard of masculinity for angry men in other countries
kyoulle (french kyle) downing a nicotine redbull and attempting to put a hole through the thousand year old cobblestone wall in his bedroom
10D Chess
Every single week I cycle through a different coffee shop in my town and ask the barista to make me their favorite drink in a medium. I have an entire spiel:
“All milk is fine, caffeinated and not caffinated i’m game, hot and iced both work, it can be coffee or tea or anything.”
It has yet to fail me. Every time I have tried a new drink I never would have thought to try and every one I’ve had has been amazing. The true delight I’ve seen in baristas faces pondering on what to make me and the joy they have when I like the drink always makes my day and I hope it makes theirs too. It’s the little things of kindness that can make someone’s day and I feel that it helps the world be kinder. Highly recommend doing this yourselves.
Just went to a place I go to more often near work and I got a “oh! It’s you!! :D” from one of the baristas when I gave my order. Made my day :)
Update: me and the most common coffee shop I go to’s baristas and I are now friends :)
PEOPLE ARE SAYING IM AN AU OR PROMPT IM NOT A PROMPT IM A REAL BOY I PROMISE
Additional update: I wrote a good review/feedback for the coffee shop and corporate really liked my review, so now everyone in the coffee shop knows my name, knows I gave the review because my order is unique, and I was given a free breakfast sandwich in appreciation.
^tags:
#oh and they start making a mystery drink for me every time I walk in the door now and the baristas will argue on who gets to make the drink
#when the manager I've never seen before went 'are you (full first and last name)' and thanked me for the review I was so happy #THEY PINNED IT ON A BOARD BEHIND THEM SO I SEE IT EVERY TIME I ORDER COFFEE NOW #AAAAAAA
#they're all so sweet I'm debating on giving some of my fav baristas my number so I can ask for their dietary restrictions to make them soup
Seeing people reblog this post with tags along the lines of “humanity is good” makes me so happy man. My singular goal in life is if I manage to have a conversation with a person and they walk away at least a bit happier than before, I’ve succeeded in my life’s mission. My impact on the world might not be huge but to those around me and the few that I interact with, spreading that little bit of joy can mean do much to others and watching that joy impact others is truly amazing.
my life with ADHD
This is very true and a great post.
But low key makes me think about how people with adhd have been raised their whole lives to value a day based on what they accomplished vs what they experienced
I think your point is excellent. But also consider:
That list might say things like “Paint a picture. Go birdwatching. Finish that great novel I started reading. Call my grandma. Learn to bake a cake. Visit my sister. Play piano.”
For me at least, the good/fun things are harder without meds too. I can have the best intentions, but following through is hard.
This addition is so important.
There are many benefits to being a marine biologist
so apparently in 815 CE there was a common belief that sky pirates sailed ships in the clouds and (working in collaberation with frankish weather wizards) stole all the crops that got damaged in storms and took them back to the cloud realm of magonia.
And this was apparently a common enough belief that an archbishop felt the need to write a treatise to debunk it and insist that only god controls the weather, which is the only reason we know about it.
there are three important points to take from this, i think
This is great inspiration for your next dnd game
Tropes that might seem relatively modern (like airship pirates) can often actually go WAY back
The stuff your average medieval christian actually believed in will often have very little resemblance to christianity. And thats before you even get to the proper heretics.
https://www.historicmysteries.com/magonia/
Shoutout to my dad who accidentally moved into an up and coming black lgbt neighborhood and was very disappointed to learn that all of his “new friends” weren’t actually interested in how to use iNaturalist or where he saw coyotes on his walks 😔🙏🏻
You misunderstand. My father has accidentally been on multiple dates now with multiple guys he was hoping wanted to be friends 😅
Oh bless him
in honor of 4chan exploding, I want to remind you all that they used to do “raids” on Tumblr.
they tried to flood the popular tags with gore and porn. this was when Homestuck was at its peak, so they were a target too. (side note: tags barely functioned at all at this point so trying to make them useless was like throwing a molotov into an already burning building but try telling that to 4channers)
but the Homestuck fandom was ready and countered by flooding the tag with weirder, more explicit Homestuck porn and gore.
to the point that the trolls themselves got weirded out, fucked off, and never attempted a “raid” again.
everyone moved on but I stayed there because that is one of the funniest fucking things to happen on this website.
Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.
I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.
me everytime one of my seemingly non-specific homoerotic text posts breaks containment
i need more posts in this genre
[ID 1: a screenshot of a post from yuttikkele
"hey gamers l've started watching star trek does anyone else see the romantic tension between captain kirk and mr. spock"
end ID 1]
[ID 2: a screenshot of a post from modernchemical
"watching death note with my family and after the college entrance episode my mom asked offhandedly if anyone had ever pictured L and light as a couple before. it felt like one single white dove had landed on a crystalline lake in a beautiful pure clearing. no i don't think anyone's ever thought of that before"
end ID 2]
At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.
Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.
The man does not know from cheese. The man "ain't never seen no cheese but orange before" and "I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it's wrong it's her fault ok?"
I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he's done with her shit.
Our flight is delayed.
He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.
I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I'm leaning towards "what".
Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.
Uh oh.
Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.
The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.
He's not having it. He's insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.
HE RECORDED THE CONVERSATION IN WHICH SHE PROMISED TO PAY FOR THE CHEESE, SHE'S THAT MUCH OF A FLAKE.
I am about to offer this man cash for some of these cheeses because our flight is now more delayed.
"YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON'T GET FANCY CHEESE."
"OR ELSE WHAT?"
"I'm gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE'S PREGNANT!"
"The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?"
"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?"
"YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON'T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!"
"YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!"
*hangs up phone*
*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*
The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.
"If your friend doesn't want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?"
Naturally, I have volunteered my box of wheat thins and offered to buy one of the harder cheeses which should be fine if it makes it home.
Meanwhile, Kirigumi has noticed that the Shiba Inu is staring at her and is correctly intimidated.
1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He's recouped like half his losses.
2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.
3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he'd do it for free.
"Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it's really fucked up." I say
"yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she's never really had a good job so she can't pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line."
"If you haven't already, check on the rest of your family's finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents." Says Pinot Blanc.
4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog's name is Donut, and he's her service dog because she's severely visually impaired.
"Oh, he's a guide dog?" Asks cheese guy.
"oh, no." She laughs. "He's too short, and the way my eyes are, it's easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn't be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!"
"Uh." Says Kirigumi. "He's been staring at me do I need to back up or..?"
"Ohdear! No, no- He wasn't looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he's not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can't have is to stare in the other direction."
"OKAY!" Says Kirigumi. "I'm wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something."
"No, no- he doesn't care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!"
"Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany." Says Pinot.
"Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese." Says cheese guy.
Plane may be arriving. I am paying for in flight WiFi to keep y'all updated.
1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.
2. I know they're planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.
3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.
4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.
5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.
Ok so the Wifi wasn't working on the plane (also like, nonstop turbulence) and also they got seated in a different row from me, but:
Now that I've heard the word aloud, and they are an astrophysicist. Who correctly believes in being comfy as fuck on planes. They are also familar with the concept of a meet-cute and is rooting for them too.
Got to walk the nice lady and her Tactical Assault Shiba to her next gate because it was on the way out and talk for a bit. Donut is called that not because he is the color of a Donut (which he is) but because he likes to sleep curled up in a perfect circle. He has a sister who does the same thing named Bagel.
Lost track of Pinot and Cheeseguy for a bit but when I saw them again at Baggage claim, Cheeseguy was holding both their jackets, and Pinot was on the phone to his hotel about "Well do you have any rooms with TWO beds?". The rest of the call indicated that yes, there were rooms with two beds, but Readers, I Had A Moment.
:)
Anyway, it's 2AM, I need to sleep, if you feel like supporting this kind of hard-hitting reporting, I have a Tip Jar!
Hey. Take my hand. I feel like if 4chan can afford to keep running since 2009 despite having an unmarketable shitty userbase then whatever may happen to tumblr will not be our fault.
Okay so 4chan just died
here's the thing though
we can get some schadenfreude out of the fact that it died *first*
Transcription:
Tiktok 1: What's the weirdest thing about you body that you haven't gotten fixed yet?
Tiktok 2: (unintelligible) I started having issues hearing out of my right ear so i go to the doctor like any normal person would, and the guy looks in my ear with that little flashlight nozzle thing and he goes, "hm." And I go, "what?" And he says, "You don't have an ear canal."
Well I DID! Haven't missed any payments, who took it?!
He sends me to the very convenient ear specialist around the corner who then looks in my ear and goes, "JESUS!"
That is not the first thing I want my doctor to say to me! You think you know where this is going and you think it's gonna be a bug- WRONG.
This man informs me that there is a small tooth-sized bone growing across my ear. So I'm sitting there trying to process this like, "So should I go to the dentist?" And he goes "Oh, no it's only covering about 60% of your ear canal so as long as it doesn't start growing more then you don't need immediate surgery." So now I can't go underwater or else it gets trapped behind my ear-tooth!
Also, to the person on twitter who said I wasn't getting enough action so my body had to start 'boning' itself?
That was mean.
EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SCIENTISTS AT THE SCHMIDT OCEAN INSTITUTE HAVE FOOTAGE OF A LIVE COLOSSAL SQUID FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑
for context, scientists have know about these mfs for like a HUNDRED YEARS but only now have they actually seen one ALIVE !!
I'd fucking retire dude are you kidding me
I've got one of these. It's from the vtech V.smile educational games console. It's got a really nifty feature: it's ambidextrous!
you start beating them and mid match they beyblade their fucking controller to their dominant hand
You want to call your House rep now and tell them Trump needs to be impeached immediately for defying a Supreme Court order (re: Kilmar Abrego Garcia), which functionally voids our constitution and means no one in America has rights anymore.
I am not exaggerating.
As of now, anybody can be disappeared, no due process, no recourse. Trump is openly disregarding a Supreme Court order and says he’ll send US citizens to El Salvador.
This is not a drill.
Call your House rep and tell them they must impeach. Tell them if they cannot bring themselves to impeach, they must resign. A more open and shut case to impeach is not possible. Trump and his administration are saying openly, in public, that anybody can be kidnapped by ICE, even in error, and disappeared permanently.
Call your senators, too, and tell them to support impeachment (it goes to them once it passes a majority House vote).
Find your representatives. Learn how to find and connect with them. Stay informed about their bills, committees, and contributions.
"Hello, my name is _______ and I am a constituent from _______. My address is ________.
I am reaching out today to urge Representative ______ to call for the impeachment of President Trump due to his refusal to comply with the Supreme Court's April 10th decision regarding Kilmar Abrego Garcia, who was unlawfully deported and has been charged with no crime. As Justice Sotomayor stated, this inaction implies the government's ability to 'deport and incarcerate any person, including U.S. citizens, without legal consequence, so long as it does so before a court can intervene.' This precedent is unconstitutional, highly illegal, and grounds for impeachment. Every individual, regardless of immigration status, must be guaranteed a right to due process.
Representative _____, I urge you to stand on the right side of history today by calling for President Trump's impeachment. This administration can not be allowed to continue unilaterally defying the checks and balances that are intrinsic to our government."
You can also find your representative and senators and their phone numbers on https://5calls.org/
Please don't be afraid of calling. Your job would just be to be a data point, not to sound perfect. Here's some info on why calling is effective.
my femme girlfriend: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house
me: [throwing on shorts and a tank top] okay baby i love you and you look so pretty
My overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house
My femme girlfriend: [throwing on a sundress and head scarf] okay baby I love you and you look so handsome
Me: [after spending 6 hours on my hair and makeup] Babe I’m ready to head out now
My femme wife: [who has also taken 6 hours] Okay babe I love you I’m ready and your highlight is poppin severely but you need to blend that contour in a little bit
Me: [fixing her eyebrows] I love you
my overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok love im ready to leave the house
my equally overdressed femme girlfriend: [also hour and a half later] okay baby i love you we’re both so pretty
Me: [10 minutes and a tank top later] ok babe let’s go
My equally lazy butch girlfriend: [also 10 minutes and a tank top later] I love you honey but we gotta stop taking each other’s tank tops
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