transcript under cut cause i couldn't figure out how to add subtitle file AND trim the full season length video at the same time with the programs i have RIP me if i figure it out i'll reupload i guess
Cut to Red Base
Sarge: It's very simple. We use a flea flicker maneuver with a run and gun two by two approach, tactical ops will be... aw hell, who am I kidding? Grif, Donut, just go stand in the way of their bullets while me and Simmons 2.0 sneak around back to grab Lopez.
Donut: Sounds like a plan!
Grif: No it doesn't! How about this time we try something that doesn't involve me being shot at or run over.
Simmons: Would electrified be okay?
Grif: No!
Simmons: Well, I'm out of ideas.
Grif: Look, instead of running straight into enemy gunfire like we usually do, why don't we try some reconnaissance this time?
Donut: You mean like spy stuff? That would be cool! I could wear a spy tuxedo-
Sarge: No.
Donut: -with a hidden spy camera-
Simmons: No.
Donut: -inside a tiny spy bow-tie-
Grif: No.
Donut: -or, I could wear a flower on my lapel-
Sarge: I said no!
Donut: -that sprays water in people's faces-
Simmons: Shut up Donut.
Donut: -no, a secret spy liquid, that would be awesome. (he chuckles, everyone stares)
Sarge and Simmons: No!
Grif: Maybe! Uh, I mean, no.
Donut: Oh, come on! I could be Double O Donut.
Simmons: You mean like, Doonut?
Donut: With a license to thrill, or be thrilled!
Sarge: Alright, since you're both so into the idea, Grif, Donut, you're on recon. Find us a way to break into their base, and report back on the double.
Grif: Great, more time alone with the idiot.
Donut: Grif, Grif, Grif, Grif, Grif, Grif! Lets pretend we're wearing super spy jet-packs! (Grif groans) No, no, no, no. Like this. (he makes jet-pack sounds as the scene transitions to a cliff while Donut continues to make jet-pack sounds)
Grif: Hey, can you not stop that for two seconds?
Donut: Come on Agent- (he clears his throat to speak with a lower voice) Come on Agent Grif, we've got to hurry if you want to save the princess from the evil goblin.
Grif: What princess? I thought you were pretending to be in a spy movie.
Donut: Look, my secret spy character gets to marry a beautiful princess in a castle, alright? Deal with it!
Grif: Donut, can you go find some higher ground or something?
Donut: But we're on higher ground now.
Grif: Why don't you use your jet pack to get to the highest ground?
Donut: Good idea! I bet the Blues won't think of that.
Grif: No, if they were that stupid we probably would've won by now.
Donut: Secret Agent Donut, to the rescue! (he makes more jet-pack noises as he runs off)
Grif: I could just shoot him. No one would ever have to know. No one.
As today is the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, it’s a great time to revisit Dinah from Devon’s memory of this historic event. And yes, still makes me laugh.
one cute detail about murderbot is that its always running calculations on how likely an event is to happen. its always commenting on the statistical likelihood of something. and yet. it still thinks “but what if theres a space monster, like in my shows”
when i was 8 i had a very intimidating russian woman as a music teacher- she was both my opera instructor and piano teacher. about a month into piano, she sat me down and said to my mother and i "this child- very beautiful voice, good for singing. i will not allow this child to continue piano. god did not want this child to play an instrument. he told me this in dreams. that is all."
my mom had it written down on a slip so we could remember the exact words because it was so funny. i HATED playing piano and i was definitely not good at it (i did end up having a good 5 years of opera training and ended up being a pretty accomplished choir singer though) and the idea of god sending my incredibly severe and serious russian piano teacher a dream begging her to stop teaching me piano was probably the funniest way it could have gone.
As a scientist I find the concept of Cecil freely yapping about Carlos on the radio so funny because if I was in the lab just going about my experiments and then some person on the radio started talking about how hot I am I would get clowned on it by my coworkers beyond belief. Every time I walked into the lab the grad students there would’ve been like “there he is with his perfect hair 😩” and if the centrifuge broke “try asking it to work with your sweet caramel voice 😫” like deadass the lab would be insufferable for months
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