Probably not Captain America @doubtfullydead - Tumblr Blog

call me crazy but there is actually no platonic reason to be listening to a voice clip of your partner saying “love you” over and over and over again to the point that even your neighbors are sick of hearing it

#zootopia #tv

vocallywritten

It's crazy that 90% of the new Zootopia movie is just Judy running into danger and Nick frantically chasing after her, picking up things she dropped and desperately trying to prevent her from killing herself. Nick Wilde was a conman, he's not USED to being the responsible one but now that he's partners with Judy he literally has no choice because she's twice as chaotic as him with half the sense of self preservation.

#Zootopia #tv

podcastwizard

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

#text posts

sentimentalslut

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

sentimentalslut

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

sentimentalslut

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

sentimentalslut

framing these tags and hanging them up in my office to remind me that it can always be worse

#text posts

thesituation

“your rent should be a third of your income” well wouldn’t that be nice. wouldn’t it. lower the rent pussy

moniquill

Casual observation from someone old enough to remember: in the year 2000 financial advice was that rent should be no more than 1/4 of your income.

vergess

Until the mid 80s, the advice was that if you must rent instead of owning, then that 20% of your monthly income (oh yes, only 20%) should include all your utilities too.

After all, rent costs more than a mortgage, so it should offer more too.

The housing market is a fucking travesty.

homoqueerjewhobbit

Hmm what happened in the mid eighties....

commodorecliche

elumish

I honestly think Gen-Z and younger simply does not understand how recent widespread smartphone adoption is.

I am not that old, and I didn't have a smartphone until probably late high school. For most of my life, many if not most people were not walking around with a magic internet machine in their pocket that they pulled out and used constantly for everything.

sandumilfshous

reblog if you remember having to ration your text messages and accidentally opening the internet on your phone was the end of the world

redstonedust

i do find the rules around clothes fascinating because of how made up it all is. we invented the idea of covering our bodies from the elements because we lack fur like other mammals and then made up all these rules around it and now people will unironically tell you "men cant wear skirts its unnatural" girl none of this is natural. we are born naked and made up the rest as we went along. hope this helps.

assiraphales

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive

manny-jacinto

legend 🙌

#text posts

orcboxer

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

#text posts