Hopelessly Homoromantic

Douglas // He/Him

[w-e-b-k-i-n-z]

this is literally the most terrifying popup ive ever gotten in webkinz i didnt even do anythING

[contac]

[nikocat]

my furry ass when the werewolf pulls out his knot

[deathclawboyfriend-deactivated2]

[thoodleoo]

me: okay i’ve complained enough about this it’s time to put it to rest

me five minutes later: actually you know what-

[93-7]

ill finish this essay tomorrow [FLASHBACK - PINKPRINT TOUR 2015] NICKI: if theres one thing i hate its a lazy bitch [END FLASHBACK] 🌃📝🌆📃🌇📮

[ankleblister]

[d1rtypaws]

Me: I love being out at night, I’m not scared of the dark!

tree: *exists, looking very vaguely like a person*

Me:

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

[jumex]

[caden]

they call it nintendo switch because you sw

[caden]

you swi

[cullenscott-deactivated20170921]

Take your time

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

imagine a horror movie where all the characters are gen z and not particularly scared of dying

[grxnk1d]

killer on the phone with a character: i’m in your house and i will kill you

character: alright lit hurry up tho

[aconstellationofbruises]

The fakest part of this is a Gen Z kid answering the phone

[sambibomb]

killer via dm on ig: i’m in your house and i will kill you

character: alright queen👏🏼💖 hurry up🔥🔥💦💦

[angelicguy]

people who use guns are pussies. i just throw bullets really fast

[rihsusvevo]

when all of us finally get deleted

[kiefbowl]

Let’s say your matrilineal line is fairly consistent and everyone has their daughter at 25. So four women in your matrilineal line are born every hundred years. In a thousand years, that’s only 40 women. Like the math is so simple and yet ? You don’t think about it. So in 2000 years, 80 women. So basically, 0 AD started roughly about 80 mothers ago. That’s it.

[hawthorn56-deactivated20230602]

I’m……… i’m a little drunk n cannot deal with this right now

[thevideowall]

Yep

The advent of agriculture around 9500BC was about 450 mothers ago

[quousque]

you can’t just say shit like that without a warning

[annechen-melo]

Many, many mothers ago, when the world was new….

[harpie-lady]

Anyone: *stands behind me while I’m on my phone*

Me:

[unfollowfriday]

what I imagine heterosexual marriage to be like

brad: hey hon, whats for dinner

susan: vegetable soup

brad: 

susan: what

brad: its just that I had a really long day at work and I was hoping for a little more than….vegetable soup

susan: im fucking your brother

[unfollowfriday]

this post was very controversial within the heterosexual community

[filmnoirsbian]

Catholic art: god-fearing…but make it sexy

[filmnoirsbian]

Catholic art critic in the 1800s: hmm im liking the overtones of guilt & sacrifice but i think its missing a lil smth…

Belgian sculptor just trying to make enough money to pay a good leech doctor so he doesnt die of consumption: like what?

Catholic art critic: ass

[whoisshe777]

[itsbetterthananal]

it blows my mind when high school teachers think college professors are super professional when this is a literal email i got from my stat professor an hour ago