Dear Diary,

Everything I feel, shamelessly.

[dovergenius]

A sweet memory, that's all you can ask someone to be

from a broken heart

[dovergenius]

Fragment

I give up

I give up

I just don’t pick right

I want you all to myself

But you don’t exist.

I’m too clingy 

Lost

Broken

On the floor

Just like the song.

I don’t think I’ll ever fully love myself

I’m a work in progress.

Some days, I have more love than others

Everywhere, that’s what everyone says

love yourself, so someone else can.

But no one loves themselves completely,

Ever.

I just want you to walk in.

And I’ll love you when you can’t love yourself

too

[dovergenius]

My red stained lips dozens of empty bottles the scent of cigarettes I miss the way you smell your ginger hair I want to scream  love me  in the air  I'll let the warmth inside me put me to bed instead

why was I never good enough 

[dovergenius]

Singing Alone

You never want to say the truth

Just let me slip through

I was never in those hands

What do i have to do

I just want you to see me

Don’t you ever feel me

I never want to say the truth

Heavy hearted tasting skin

I just give it up

What do i have to do

I just want you to see me

Don’t you ever feel me

What are you gonna do

I don’t see you

Just don’t feel you

Dying in these lies

Comfortable

[dovergenius]

No one knows who I’m talking about when I write, except you and I. Every you that’s implied in this writing is the you thats hurt me.

[dovergenius]

Crushing Mistake

I liked you 

That was my first mistake

I let you come over

That was my second

I let you kiss me

That was my third

My biggest mistake

Was allowing you to make me feel insane

Was letting you make my self-worth waiver 

Was letting you make me question if I was worthy 

You are not the one for me

Because

I tried so hard to make it work 

I had to question what  you told me 

Because

Your actions always shouted the exact opposite

[dovergenius]

Hurt Me

Stop hurting yourself It’s not worth it anymore Just let that die before it starts to rot Stop hurting yourself All that hope just eats you up Every letter chews your heart Stop hurting yourself Stupid, stupid girl.

[dovergenius]

Wednesday

I don’t mind being a fool for you. Because it felt so right but it’s all wrong. You can tell me you feel what I feel, but you don’t, because I’m crying and you’re living your life. And I don’t know what that means. You really broke my heart. It’s all broken and I don’t know what to do with it. It’s never been this bad before. I believed every word you said. I know you hurt because only alcohol drowns you. I feel so stupid. For believing in you. I’m still that dumb little girl, you know. I still live somewhere where fairy-tales come true and the love of my life exists. But that’s all a lie in my head, in the place where I can be anyone I need to be in order to deal. This is the first time my heart has ever been broken. You’re my first love. You are. That’s why you hurt this much. I fell in love with you every Wednesday after class.​

[dovergenius]

You’re the wrong guy again

But you looked so right

And somehow what I’ve gotten

Are more qualities I like

Just another chip in my heart

[dovergenius]

Read Me

I texted you

Because I had a bad day

And I really missed you in my bed

I texted you

Because I love you

And I hardly know you

And now I’m scared

I texted you

Because I’m all alone

And you make me feel better

And somehow I’m whole

But now I feel like crap

I feel like such crap

I texted you

Because you’re still not here

And this stuffed animal

Doesn’t even smell like you

[dovergenius]

I wasn’t loved enough. So please don’t lay a finger on my delicate skin. It’s not use to being touched. It might begin to crave what you’re not willing to give. I didn’t get enough contact, enough hugs, kisses, I love yous, I miss yous, I’m proud. So please don’t touch me. Because I don’t know how much I’ll cling to the small shred of affection you’re so foolishly giving away.

Don’t touch me because you’re not going to stay.

[dovergenius]

I imagine I’m free and then I am through the beat of a song my mind whirls and I’m carried by the breeze of bliss in my blood intoxicating yes, for 4 minutes and 3 seconds I can be me

and the world stops 

[dovergenius]

I have a hard time letting go the way most people do I hope that somehow this makes sense the fact that I’m writing this poem there are so many mixed emotions swirling I feel like these past months have been spent in an enclosed tunnel where I miss your touch but I don't want to be with you where I want to see you but looking at you makes me mad where I miss your voice but hearing it brings back bad memories I'm torn between a sweet place and resentment This is the end of this fragile little thing

break.

[dovergenius]

I took my time

But I’m not alive

I start to think

I cannot sink

Running to the islands

Of my mind

[dovergenius]

I want to say that you are real and don’t exist in my surreal - dreamy, dribbled, thoughts. The white parts of my eyes embedded with stars - hoping that somewhere I’ll know when to start. Letting go.

Sometimes I still feel your body next to mine. 

[dovergenius]

But...

You are steady

And I quiver 

You knew what love was 

And I was new at this 

So here we  stand on the edge 

At the ending 

You try to hold on to me 

But I keep slipping

I’m not ready 

Not when I met you 

But you have been the only person 

 That loves me

So I can’t help but love you too

[quotes]

Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.