WET BEAST WEDNESDAY
one of my favorite wet beast for this wednesday
#mybal
Claire Keane
sheepfilms
almost home
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
d e v o n

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Jules of Nature
Sade Olutola

@theartofmadeline

izzy's playlists!
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Stranger Things
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
Xuebing Du
EXPECTATIONS
Peter Solarz
Three Goblin Art

roma★
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@dragonaireabsolvare
WET BEAST WEDNESDAY
one of my favorite wet beast for this wednesday
#mybal
Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is
Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.
His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.
gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther
#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"
tired: legolas took gimli to valinor with him because they were bffs/in love/etc.
wired: legolas took gimli to valinor to prove the world was flat after arguing with him about it for decades
Sorry it’s what to elves
So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth). But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven. To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk. So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.
This is why Legolas can see for such great, almost impossible distances. The Earth does not curve for him.
Legolas said fuck the horizon
God I fucking love high fantasy
A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.
#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus
I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious
A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)
Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.
unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!
(warning: loud chirping throughout)
source: hellgate osprey cam
This made me laugh out loud
Reblogging in honor of the first day of baseball season.
The pitcher that exploded the bird is a photographer now, this is his logo
i was the exception to the rule. i should be the ambassador of the american dream. i did it all right.
we were dirt poor. my parents sacrificed a lot so i could be in an area where the schools were exceptional. we all bootstrapped. i paid my own way through college and grad school. i have student debt, but not a lot of it. it took me a long time and a lot of jobs and working and connections and luck and all of it.
now i make good money at a good (remote!) job with pretty good health insurance. I have vision and dental. they even offer pet insurance and 6 free meetings with a therapist. i work with an exceptionally sweet manager, i like my team, and i don't mind the job. i make much more than some of my friends.
so why the fuck can't i afford to eat.
i looked it up. ten years ago, my current salary would amount to 106 thousand american dollars. it was "well over" median wage.
my position's base salary (according to what i could find) has only increased by about 3 thousand dollars. after all, the work has not changed drastically. estimates say that for me to live "comfortably" in this city, i'd need to be making 139,776 dollars a year, before taxes. i am making half of that.
i always bristle when someone on the other side says something about how we just don't want to work, how it's really about me and my failure to succeed. that i need to be pushier, flashier, better; and then capitalism will work out for me.
in the car yesterday, she said that america is probably fucked. that the amount of damage trump is doing to america is largely permanent. i have difficulty arguing with her. prices went up during the pandemic, and then they just - stayed there. i want to believe in the inevitable rise of the human spirit (you know i'm an optimist) but the truth of the matter feels like a smeared handprint - i have no proof it gets easier.
elon musk becomes or unbecomes a trillionaire. we spend billions of dollars in a pointless war. health insurance companies kill people in cold blood. ai "takes over" jobs; assigns you a random number score for your resume so you are automatically rejected by the system. you're fired to make more profit for the shareholders; they rehire someone else for half of your pay. the government spends millions of dollars to destroy national monuments. the white house needs a ballroom. the fbi just posted that they can preemptively arrest someone for domestic terrorism for "extreme" beliefs about america. when i went to go check my facts about that - i found that the this fucking government website has an email sign-up popup that covers the entire page & i literally could not figure out how to close it.
so yeah, the price of eggs is not going to go down. the cost of RAM is not going to go down. why would it. in the free market, without regulation, all the companies really need to worry about is how else they can bleed a stone.
sometimes when people my age make fun of gen z or gen alpha for being unwilling to work; i think about the lie we've been telling them. because i am not an unusual case. so fucking many of us did it "right". so many of us put our heads down and agreed to the terms and conditions. this was how you do it, right.
almost none of my friends own a house. all of us are in our 30s.
it's apocryphal and likely didn't happen as written, but the myth goes that when Marie Antoinette was told that the general population was starving and had no bread to eat; her chipper reply was so let them eat cake.
there's a 250 foot ferris wheel breaking down on the national mall right now. i can't afford gas, but whatever. our nation's birthday is coming.
i am told to keep trying. do the impossible. solve the puzzle, open the portal. coupon your way to success, high yield savings, skip the coffee break. hustle harder, show up early, leave late. the problem is you, right. it's how you're living life. just keep going!
look forward to the cake.
Tumblr added a bunch of tracking shit to share urls, so now ill teach you how to get rid of them
if you copy a url by sharing on the website, the link will look like this
getting rid of tracking in these is easy, just delete everything after the question mark and you are golden
in the case for the app, its slightly more complicated
first you have to delete at. that appears before tumblr(.)com the other tracking shit on this one has a lot more info, so please, clean app urls. after the first set of numbers, there's a / you have to delete everything after it
a clean Tumblr url should look like this
blog safely
Removing this garbage makes posts embed on discord btw
oh yesyesyes💪👴🧓✊
uhhh i dont think this was a priest or deity ☝️
1,372 votes and 251 comments so far on Reddit
Go cheer yourselves up, ladies. The comments are absolutely inspired.
Jesus Christ
the last post is calling me out... (ageplay hhh I would absolutely want a slutty grandma hhh)
Concept: combine the “you don’t know you live on a death world until you leave it” trope with the whole Cthulhu-in-space genre of weird fiction, except in reverse: humanity’s Special Thing™ is that humans (and, by extension, all terrestrial life-forms) are weirdly resistant to reality-bending bullshit, which is what lets us survive and build a relatively functional civilisation in spite of hailing from a world that plays host to multiple Other Gods – which is, of course, otherwise unheard of; having even one of those squamous bastards in the neighbourhood is generally enough to ruin a whole star system’s day.
Non-human vessels can’t approach within a dozen light years of Sol without their crews being driven mad by the corrosive psychic resonance emanating from Earth’s deepest oceans, and we’re wandering around living our lives and not noticing. Aliens can never travel on human ships because our FTL drives kind of maybe tunnel through Hell, a process that horribly warps non-terrestrial life, and we just think it looks pretty when the n-dimensional hellfire coruscates across the viewports.
This sort of thing kept humanity uncontacted for a long time, until the aliens’ observers eventually figured out that we weren’t a bunch of weirdly normal-looking elder thralls, we just straight up weren’t aware there was a problem. It’s only then that they arranged first contact – remotely, of course – to basically ask “dude, what the fuck?”
(Humans are reasonably well-integrated into the galactic community these days, though most worlds enforce strict screening and quarantine procedures before allowing a Terran traveller planetside; it’s just like a human to have a class 7 epistemivore hitchhiking in their brain, and when informed, go “you know, I have been getting these headaches lately”.)
Once the humans got settled in, it was only natural that they’d be in high demand for dealing with reality bender infestations on other worlds, a profession that most aliens regard as horrifyingly dangerous, but which humans tend to approach as a sort of glorified animal control. Your capital city’s got a case of nightgaunts? A team of humans’ll be more than happy to go in and poke them with laser-sticks until they leave – for a fee, of course.
(In one famous incident, a kilometre-high pillar of paradimensional flesh manifested on Arcturus IV and began singing the Song of Endings, causing every living creature across half a continent to bleed from their auditory receptors. Upon arrival, the human first responders were observed to complain that they’d heard that one before, and soon set off in high spirits. The tower later caught fire and fell over; nobody’s entirely sure what the humans did, but they announced that their work was done and quickly departed – the ensuing biohazard cleanup, they said, was someone else’s department!)
It is inevitable, of course, that you eventually end up with the humans that regard the Elder Gods as fuckable.
my comic for terrible comic day 2026
Translucent enamel on teeth are kind of a vibe… everything looks better at 50% opacity. Or maybe this is a giant cope after my dentist told me I can’t have energy drinks anymore cause I’m ruining my enamel.
MORE TEETH! MORE TEETH!
ewww who are these guys