ok so back in high school
I was in this AP English class with a bunch of people who were all too smart for their own good. We had like... SAT word quizzes at the start of every class. We competed to see who had read the most books in the past week. It was the MOST unhinged nerd vibes you could ever experience.
So this one day, we all file in for class and are quizzing each other before class about the new vocab for the day. MOST of the time, all of us would have heard the words before or have context for how they sounded, but then there was this kid, we’ll call him P Slice.
So P Slice comes in, and is ALL about taking over the quizzing for the day, so much so that he declares he’s going to quiz us all on the vocab he’s so confident. Only half of us pay attention to him, SO he gets the other half in this little pre-quiz group and starts asking for word definitions.
Then he gets to the word ‘epitome’ and the ENTIRE class just stops and turns to him. Because P Slice hasn’t said ‘epitome’ as it is pronounced (eh-pit-toe-mi) but instead has said, ‘please provide the definition of EH-PEE-TOMB’ and then laughed after the audible pause from EVERYONE. Finally, one of my friends asks “Sorry, what was the word?”
Now P Slice is concerned for all of us, and he says with the most genuine concern and fear for our sanity “EPI-TOME? Do you need a hint?” and all of us exchange a look until finally someone realizes what word he is actually saying. This person is (fortunately) not in P Slice’s study group and quietly walks over and says “Hey, P Slice, can you show me the word? I just want to check something.” P Slice, confused and concerned, hands the vocab list over to our classmate and points at the word, muttering “I don’t get it. It’s such an easy word? Like, who doesn’t know EY-Pee-Tomb.”
And BLESS this classmate of ours, who chokes down a smile and a laugh and says, “P Slice, I think it’s pronounced ‘eh-pit-toe-mi’ actually.” Now, because this is high school, half the class goes loudly “OH! THAT’S THE WORD! YEAH!” and provides the definition IMMEDIATELY and the other half bursts into horribly concealed laughter at P Slice’s terrible fate. THEN the teacher walks in and just STARES at the, well, not unusual sight but certainly interesting state of his afternoon class. He asks the nearest student what’s happening, the story is explained briefly in the form of like, “P Slice thought epitome was pronounced EY PEE TOME”
Our teacher, bless him, bites down a laugh, and then looks at all of us and asks P Slice, who looks formally mortified, “huh, that’s a new one. Have you ever heard this word said aloud?”
P Slice answers, “I mean, NOW I realize I have. I just didn’t recognize it immediately on the list and so my brain... read it like epeetomb instead. It just made sense.”
Our teacher gives the most MONUMENTAL shrug and goes, “yeah, happens to me all the time. Words, right? ENGLISH, we hate to love it and love to hate it,” and immediately starts passing out the quiz for the day. That simple moment lived in ALL of us for the rest of the year about how easy it is to mispronounce something.
