[milk5]

if shes your girl then why am I in her uncles dms lowballing his ebay listings

[h4nifah]

it’s october which means it’s time to listen to listen to melancholic music while wearing a big coat and staring wistfully out the window on public transport

[okthatsgreat]

do you ever find yourself in an elevator or a bus or a train car with a bunch of people and think to yourself damn we’d make a compelling ensemble company for a black box theatre play or a novella of some kind should something go wrong here

[eatpussypraylove]

But also I think the whole point of your 20’s maybe is to “get stuck” in such a big way at least once that it shocks you into promising yourself to never let it get that bad again

[stuckinapril]

Girl who’s re-cultivating hope in her future after a multiweek breakdown: I’m going to the bookstore to buy a book

[thwrangis]

im pickling shit you aint even jarred yet

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

actually impossible to have any kind of conversation with my brother

[modwyr]

drunk driving my steed and I got ambushed by a group of bandits in the woods. fuck my stupid life my liege lord is going to kill me

[sandmandaddy69]

[taffywabbit]

[felipeiv]

[slavicafire]

can you please pretend not to notice the worrying change to my leitmotif? thank you

[blind3dbylight]

accidentally said Shirley instead of Siri and now my phone is stuck in Airplane mode

[sunshinetomorrow]

my grubhub being delivered by a wizard or some sort of apostle

[hotvampireadjacent]

[houndmother]

i’m burning the candle at ends you’ve never heard of

[houndmother]

exactly

[reputayswift]

“I’m coming over, you better not be Vintage American Girl Westie Coconut With Chariot And Tiara when I get there.”

my unruly ass:

[holdoncallfailed]

"please advise" is the professional email equivalent of "girl help"