incomplete list of weird shit sans has done:
put a quantum physics book inside a joke book inside a quantum physics book inside a joke book inside a potentially infinite number of quantum physics and joke books
plague papyrus’ life with incidental music
create a self sustaining tornado made of trash
put a flashlight without batteries into the bulb socket of his lamp
chug an entire bottle of ketchup which is apparently a regular thing for him
teleport back and forth a short path to follow you and then act like you’re the one who’s following him
work like 5 sentry stations but is either not at any of them or asleep on the job and yet keeps getting hired at new sentry stations
sell water sausages in hot dog buns for 30 g a piece at his sentry station
stack said water sausages in hot dog buns on your head if your inventory is full
but only up to 29 sausages. 30 is just excessive.
sell concert tickets made of toilet paper for you and shyren’s concert
write “sans” on a lump of snow as a snowman
write “sans” on his face as a halloween costume
ride a tricycle down a highway that can keep up with the racecar papyrus is driving
break into the underground’s most expensive restaurant to have a private talk with an 8 year old
said private talk consisting of “I could kill you if I had to. actually nvm I’m rooting for you kid”
“you’re not dead so I did a great job at keeping you safe right?”
come across a giant door hidden deep inside the woods where he’s supposed to patrol for humans and his first thought is “man this would be great for practising knock knock jokes”
he practises his knock knock jokes on actual doors who the fuck does that that’s so cute
judge the trustworthiness of someone he’s never seen face to face based on how much they like bad jokes
the conveniently shaped lamp
when you reload your save multiple times in the hallway in pacifist route he tells you a series of code words and the code words are “I’m a stupid doodoo butt” and “I’m the legendary fartmaster”
instead of giving you the key to his room he retcons it onto your keychain
when he gives you the key he all dramatically says “It’s time you learn the truth” but when you go to his room you get stuck on a treadmill with a note that says “the truth is that you got owned, nerd…..”
whenever he says he’s going somewhere he walks off in the complete opposite direction
in pacifist end when everyone’s interrupting your fight with asgore he moves next to toriel by floating off the top of the screen and then reappearing from the bottom instead of just walking over like a regular fucking person
sometimes he runs a comb over his completely hairless head
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