Dreams Reaped

Hi! This is a place for positivity, hope in suffering, and healing! Banner & icon art brought to life through Dreamina AI, inspired by the soul of my personal projects.

[dreamsreaped]

Carriage of Stones

I've been a carriage of stones, and no longer will I carry. The lies that were told, though they remained bold; letting them live is a detriment to my merriment. I've trusted no one because there was no one to trust.

The stones that we carry, whether it be our own or ones those around us forced us to hold, we have the power to discard them and create our own paths. If we are unhappy, we must work on becoming aware of unhealthy choices that we make. Everything is a choice that we ultimately decide on - going along with the currents of turmoil and adding up stones, or breaking free and refusing to carry long-lasting burdens. I choose freedom.

[dreamsreaped]

What I am Not (The Sacrifice) (A Letter to Those Trying to Change or Use Me)

I am not a sacrifice

To appease your mentality

I am not here to be formed

God already made me.

It wasn't for you

It was for Him

I was made to serve Him.

I am not your puppet

I am not yours to drain

I cannot fill you

I am not supposed to.

I do not have strings

For you to pull or

Do anything with

I have purpose

That you cannot define. 

God made me

A vessel, for Himself

To refine. 

For Him I shall live

Uninterrupted 

Not by your design.

You can’t steal me

You can’t have me.

I am not yours.

I am meant to breathe

I am meant to climb.

I can learn

I can grow

Into all that is not, what I have rejected

I was not convinced to be your way of me

Because I am my own. 

My life showed me what I do not want to be

You showed me what I do not want to be.

I do not have to replicate your iniquity.

I can follow God and I choose to.

I choose to throw away what was never meant to be.

I am meant to be a tree planted by water

I am meant to bear fruit from a good branch.

I am meant to be corrected by God, and only God

Because He is my savior, and He is my righteous path.

Here is the narrated version of my poem.

[dreamsreaped]

Healing Is the Hardest Thing I've Ever Done

It's one thing to actively be using your body's flow of adrenaline - to master the incoming events of your life. But it's entirely another to enter into awareness that you are struggling from your past. To be stuck in the middle of seeing your body react in ways that you have no control over, but wanting to behave normally, can be even harder than when you were not aware. Because you are out of your traumatic situation, and your body is operating in survival mode - yet, you see yourself reacting in ways that you are only beginning to understand. And you're caught in-between being in control and passively watching without choice.

[dreamsreaped]

Premature Terror Staring me Down

PTSD can be exhausting. Scratch that, it is exhausting. Fighting against trauma responses is draining, tiresome to navigate, and so difficult to escape. But understanding your pain and realizing the root of your triggers is so imperative to shedding survival mode. PTSD is merely a figmented remnant of what haunted you. It is not real. If you can convince your body of that fact, that you are safe, then the beginning of reacting to your present instead of your past, may just take place.

[dreamsreaped]

1 Thessalonians 4:6 That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.

Sometimes, the only motivation to not take matters into my own hands, is God's promise that He will do it for me.

[dreamsreaped]

"I really need your help, Lord

Help for all my days.

I really need your help, Lord

Help me give you praise.

I really need your help, Lord

Don't let me stay the same,

I really need your help, Lord

Help for all my days."

-- I have gotten into the habit of singing my prayers to God. I may not be able to sing melodically, but I do have a voice. I know God appreciates it.

Psalm 96:1 "O sing unto the LORD a new song: sing unto the LORD, all the earth."

I got into this habit when I was attending a church and they would sometimes play songs with lyrics that I did not agree with. So I made my own, and sang with those instead.

Now I often bust out in song when I am talking to my best friend, Jesus Christ.

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[dreamsreaped]

Isn't it WILD how you'll just be going about your daily business, and THE HOLY SPIRIT just falls on you, directing you to do something you WEREN'T EVEN THINKING ABOUT? Yeah, that just happened to me.

[dreamsreaped]

"I'm alone."

No.

I'm free.

[dreamsreaped]

There is a house on my street I always drive by. It is old, worn, not-occupied. I’ve wondered who used to live there, and I’ve seen an occasional person on the property taking care of the long-over-grown land. The house has obviously not been in use in a long time. Last I saw it, firefighters were using it to teach new lessons: they had marked practice paths and signs that read, “No exit”. The old decrepit house would live on, serving a purpose anew. By the time I got home that night, the old house was gone. A pile of ashes and a fireplace, among a small bit of other rubble. I thought it fitting to mourn and pulled over to the side of the road to get a better look. I didn’t know the people who use to live there, but to have the evidence of their past life erased so suddenly seemed sad. But then I got to thinking: 

Was this not but a direct relation to the experience of getting to know God? We come to Him as a worn down house, already having lived, stretched to our own limits. We’ve fought to live, made decisions, maybe experienced trauma. We’re tired. God sees us in our worn down state and sees potential in us. He understands everything we have gone through, and He knows a way out. 

We may look around our life with weakened hope, feeling crippled by anxiety, fear, mental health disorders, or disease. Whatever the reason for our suffering, if we insistently pursue God, He will in time provide us a renaissance impossible to imagine from our current vantage point.

Perhaps a complete healing of the tangible ailment that touches us will not disappear, but God changes us; from the inside out. We form new vision as He changes our heart and drive to remain standing. He burns us to the ground with the only intention of building a better, stronger foundation for us to stand on. 

It may not be as instantaneous as the fire that consumed the worn down house on my street. But it is a fire: and once it’s lit, our souls burn bright with healing, sanctifying, and purpose to live our best lives. Perseverance is our call, and God has the tools and power to meet us where we fall.