There's stuff here, for some reason. Yay?

I am a guy who's sometimes childish, sometimes wise beyond years, always learning to be a functioning adult. More often than not, just an idiot trying to get by, but it's whatever. He/him

[drenosa]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Since it is now complete (It even has a little epilogue), I going to put this up and pin it for a little while.

Long story short:

Boisterous, headstrong and "always in control" Yang finds lust, extasy and excitement in letting others take the rein of her body.

Blake is there to guide her. Jaune is there to help Blake.

Both will fuck her senseless in ways Yang never expected, nor expected to enjoy as much as she will.

[howlingday]

Artist VS Author

Blake: (Author) I said, "draw Ms. Blake with MORE sex appeal!" You call THIS sexy?!

Jaune: (Artist) Oh, what the hell do YOU know about sex appeal?!

Blake: Excuse me?

Jaune: You think just because a girl shows a little cleavage, that's enough to be considered "sexy"? You're clearly the amateur here, especially since you're obviously basing this character on you!

Jaune: Your stare is empty and piercing! You have eye bags under your eye bags! And your lip gloss doesn't work if you're always scowling!

Blake: (Winces)

Jaune: Hmph! Face it; you don't know sex appeal.

Blake: ...I'll pretend you didn't say that. Now make the changes I asked for and-

Jaune: NO.

Blake: ...Fine. PLEASE fix your mistake-

Jaune: NO.

Blake: Oh, so you're going to disobey your boss?!

Jaune: Only when she's trying to bait low-brow perverts! Ms. Black would never stoop that low!

Blake: FINE! If you won't do what I say, then enjoy reading a spicy erotica about YOU getting gangbanged by five ALPHA Beowolves!

Jaune: AHAHAHA! Be careful~! I can draw you PREGNANT, you know!

--------------------------------------------------

1 HOUR LATER...

Jaune: (Reading spice)

Blake: (Looking at her preg-pic)

Jaune/Blake: (Thinking) She/He actually wrote/drew...

Blake/Jaune: ...SOMETHING SUPER HOT~!

[a-southern-reader]

Jaune: You should be afraid of me. I can draw you pregnant!! Twins, triplets, quintuples, and to go even further beyond. AGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

[howlingday]

Blake: You should be afraid of me! I can go into explicit detail in both body AND soul until you literally feel your throat being knotted while reading about it! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

[drenosa]

Weiss: Can you two please stop being Brotherless heathens and act like normal, well-adjusted people?

Blake&Jaune: *Evil Glint(tm) in their eyes* Never.

Jaune: I'll sketch up the scene.

Blake: I'll write it out.

Blake&Jaune: Together we shall have you drown in blissful depravity.

Weiss: *Fearing for her metaphorical chastity and innocence* Oh Brothers, why did I open my mouth?

Jaune: So I can draw it getting stuffed! Blake: So I can write it getting stuffed!

Blake&Jaune: *High-Five in Siblings-in-Depravity* Hell Yeah!

[drenosa]

Weiss: Have you always fought as a brawler, or did you consider other weapons before?

Yang: I actually practiced archery when I was younger.

Weiss: Archery? How surprising. What made you switch?

Yang: Well, one day I was out hunting a deer for dad's "Big Buck Barbecue Bonanza". I had just found one such big buck. Arrow knocked and bow string drawn I lined up the shot.

Yang: And as I let the arrow loose, it hit me.

Weiss: A revelation?

Yang: *Pushes chest forward* The bow string.

Weiss: ...

Yang: Puberty was a well-blessed bitch, I tell ya.

Weiss: *Gritted teeth* Such a blessing...

[drenosa]

Jaune: Hey, Weiss!

Weiss: Brothers watch me, what is it now, Arc?

Jaune: I learned a joke that will make even someone as devoid of joy as you laugh her ass off.

Weiss: You would need outside help to be funny.

Jaune: ...

Weiss: What are you looking at?

Jaune: Damn, looks like someone already told you that joke.

Weiss: ...

Jaune: ...

Weiss: I will have you choke on your own sword!

Jaune: Meep, meep, bitch!

[drenosa]

Ruby: *Up bright and early, throwing open the curtains to let the sunshine in* Gooooood morning, Weiss! Up and at 'em, it's a lovely day!

Weiss: *Gremlin, huddled inside the depths of her blanket* Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssss!

[littlelewdmable]

Hammer

Jaune: *Wearing a shirt that says "Every problem is a nail if your hammer is big enough"*

[lwde-encrusted-sideblog]

Nora: *Standing beside him, in the same shirt*

[drenosa]

Ren: *Standing next to them, wearing a shirt with a nail on it* It is about a different kind of hammering. A... pounding you might say.

[drenosa]

A Paladin... of a kind...

Ren: Say, Nora...

Nora: Nora!

Ren: Quaint. Did you... happen to notice anything strange about Jaune lately?

Nora: Lately? Like what?

Ren: The way his powers have been developing. His strange resiliences to effects not even his divinely gifted protection should be able to handle. The way his sword smites with a ghastly purple sheen around the heavenly gold.

Nora: Wait a minute... Don't tell me you only just noticed!

Ren: Noticed what?

Nora: That all the girls hanging around our fearless leader are the avatars of his patrons. Duh!

Ren: *Double takes, triple takes* WHAT?! You are telling me that Jaune, a Paladin of righteous virtue, defender of the oppressed, lifter of the fallen and warden of the wounded, is in reality a Warlock of ruinous powers?

Nora: Yeah, but also kinda no. He's definitely still the same sweet not-so-little himbo we've always known though.

Ren: *Hands on Nora's shoulders* Explain. Now. Please.

Nora: Okidoki! *Directs Ren's head to the feminine crowd around Jaune* See the raven-haired one who looks at Jaune with a smouldering eye, but at everyone else like she gonna immolate them on the spot?

Ren: Cinder, yes.

Nora: Well, she's actually C'indahr, The Fallen One and Daemon of Fire and Ambition.

Ren: I beg your finest fucking pardon?

Nora: *Ignoring her Renny* Her only ambition right now is to continue getting her guts routinely rearranged by Jaune, by the way.

Ren: You can not be serious...

Nora: Deathly serious. Speaking of which, see the shorter one, with those fascinating silver eyes that are filled with lustful longing whenever she's looking at Jaune?

Ren: Ruby?

Nora: Yup, that's actually Ru'beya, The Reaper and Guider of Souls. What'd you think was the reason so few deaths happen around us?

Ren: *Recollecting several, definitely past the realm of, near-death experiences* I... wha...

Nora: And the fiery haired one right next to her is S'Ya'ngrila, Force of Pain, Reflection and the Brightness of the Sun. Just look at her being a ball of sunshine around our best boy!

Ren: That is who Yang is?! I thought she was a fellow monk like me, only of a different order...

Nora: A monk who definitely indulges her earthly desires if the sounds of some nights are to be believed. Oh, and supposedly she and Ruby got the same mortal dad but different not-so-mortal mother. Man, lemme tell ya, I want to shake that legend's hand.

Ren: Then... what about Jessica?

Nora: That's Je'sican, Green Deamon of Hope.

Ren: Deamon?! But... but hope is supposed to be a force of good! Right?

Nora: Eh, sometimes I guess. More often it's just delayed despair. Oh, and she's also a Fulcrum of Interplanary Connections!

Ren: Wait... is that how we escaped the Fae Realm so easily? I always thought that was too extraordinary to be simple luck.

Nora: Ay-yup-yup! She didn't want the Winter Court to get their grabby grabbers all over Jaune's hot Paladin bod. So ripping a portal between realms was no biggie.

Ren: *Remembering how Jaune-centered the Schnee house's efforts were* That... still explains less than I would like. I am also getting scared to ask about Salem now...

Nora: Honestly, I'd thought she'd be the most obvious one, seeing how she's literally Salem, Queen of The Grimm Realm, Mistress of the Black Horde.

Ren: *Quietly* I thought she was a Grimm summoner with a... a bit of a fascination bordering on obsession...

Nora: Oh, she's waaaay past obsessed. Obsessed for that Arc Booty that is. She might bend Grimm to her will, but she also loves getting bent over by our golden boy.

Ren: Please do not tell me Pyrrha is a deamon too...

Nora: Pfft, no. Of course she's not.

Ren: Thank the gods...

Nora: And thank her you can! 'Cause she's the actual Pyrrha, Goddess of Grace in Battle and Destiny. She was Jaune's original patron, didn't ya know? Such a difference in composure between her being in battle and her being in bed with her Chosen One.

Ren: *Slumping to the ground* I need to sit down...

Nora: We're making camp anyway, so it's as good a time as any.

Ren: When...

Nora: When what?

Ren: When did you know all those women were all divine and/or profane in nature?

Nora: From the get-go.

Ren: *Stares in "how the fuck?"* ...

Nora: Because like knows like, of course! Naturally, they had me pegged right back at the same time.

Ren: *Dawning realisation* You... You are not just an elemental barbarian, are you?

Nora: Nope! I am North-Wrath, the Hammer that Thunders and Patron Goddess of Feasts! And your personal booping receptacle, of course! *Whispers huskily into Ren's ear* You really know how to reach my good spots after all.

Ren: *Sitting with his perspective on life and recent adventures shattered beyond recognition* ...

Nora: *Pats her Renny on the head* Aaaah... good talk, Renny. Happy to have cleared things up for ya!

[lonesilverw0lf]

Several days after one particularly eye opening conversation, and many more failed attempts at getting his best friend and leader of their group to have a similar revelation, Ren still hasn’t fully recovered. He was better at least, but now much more aware of his comrades nature and their effects. At least in the town they’re visiting he’s able to put that out of his mind and focus on getting supplies for a time. This was normal, this was sane, this was good.

And then he stepped outside.

Pyrrha was standing across from a white haired woman with tanned skin, a small thunderstorm was brewing above their heads. Jaune was in the middle of them, chatting with them completely oblivious to the energy in the air.

Nora: Hiya hiya hiya!

Her tone and cadence set Ren’s nerves on edge. She only used that when she met with the rest of their troupe.

Ren*dawning realization*: Oh. Oh no.

Nora: What’s up Renny?

Ren: Please tell me I’m wrong.

Nora, catching the look in Ren’s eyes: Oh no, you’re totally on the money! Our new friend here is the one and only Arslan! Goddess of Determination and Perseverance in Conflict! She and Pyr-Pyr have known each other from way back when! They have a pretty good rivalry. So fun to watch their fights!

Ren: But- but why?

Nora: They both have realms of influence regarding combat, and they both have different ideas about how fighting should be done, which leads to conflicts of interests. Naturally they would be rivals of some kind, both themselves and their followers. Just because we’re divine doesn’t mean we aren’t susceptible to some of the same issues that plague mortals.

Ren: No! Why is she here?!

???: Arsy finally heard about Pyrrha and our leader so wanted to see what the story was. I can’t wait to see how this plays out!

Ren, not recognizing the voice: Wait, who are you?

Behind them was a woman in a bright ostentatious outfit, a stringed instrument of sorts in on her back. Right next to her was another but in a tightly fitting black ensemble. They both had cat ears upon their heads and moved with a feline grace.

Neon, with a magical charm in her voice: Name’s Neon! Pleasure to meet ya! We traveled a long way to see the one who’s been making waves in the Fey Courts! And I must say~! I can’t blame them! Oh, and the one beside me is Blake.

Blake: He’s a human. While he looks interesting, I can’t say he’s what you think he is.

Neon: If he’s managing all these divines, then he’s worth the lookie!

Nora: Neon is for partying and revelry, while Blake is stealth and subterfuge. Their proper names are difficult to pronounce in common, and way too long for how small scale their are.

Ren: Gods or Demons?

Nora: We haven’t quite figured that part out yet. These cat gods are kinda new to the Pantheons. So far they fall into a weird in between space since they are both good and bad with their circles of influence. Not to mention they mostly stick to their cat people so aren’t that well big.

Ren: And what did you mean by our leader?

Blake, nodding at Neon: This one decided to get it in her head to join you.

Neon, nodding back at Blake: And this one lost a bet to me, so I brought her along for the journey. She’s nice, she just needs to get over herself and she’ll be your best friend!

Nora: Well we could use a bard and a rouge in the party, so nice to have you!

Ren: Wait! We haven’t even told Jaune about this yet, nor have we decided what to do about-

Jaune: There you are Ren! Hey we just got another Monk in the group, her name is Arslan! She and Pyr are old friends!

Nora: We just made two friends ourselves! These are Neon and Blake! They wanna join us!

Jaune: Sweet! More friends!

[drenosa]

Looooots of not-so-mortal firepower in this group.

The members:

2 monks, Ren (human), Arslan (Goddess)

1 monk/barbarian, Yang (Force)

1 paladin, Jaune (human) (also a warlock several times over, but telling him is useless as he won't believe you anyway)

1 elemental barbarian, Nora (Spirit)

1 bladedancer, Ruby (Force)

1 champion fighter, Pyrrha (Goddess)

2 mages, Cinder and Jessica (Deamons)

1 summoner, Salem (Eldritch Grimm Mistress)

1 rogue, Blake (Cat... Thing)

1 bard, Neon (Cat... Thing)

The relations, in order of... acquisition.

Jaune: Pyrrha, Cinder, Ruby, Yang, Jessica, Salem

Ren: Nora, only Nora, non but Nora, Nora Queen of Ren's "Tower"

Arslan, Blake & Neon remain... unaligned. For now?

One thing is for sure, Ren will be living in interesting times, much to his dread and horror.

[drenosa]

Synonymous Solicitations...

Jaune: Nora! Don't say it like that!

Nora: Say whaaaaaat?! I just said I wanted to eat your seed whilst you slap my ass.

Jaune: No, you said and I quote "Hey chum, I want that yum-cum in my tum-tum as you smash my bum-bum.".

Nora: See?! Sounds the same to me!

Jaune: I will make waffles for breakfast, they use basically the same batter as pancakes.

Nora: GASP! Blasphemy!

[drenosa]

A Paladin... of a kind...

Ren: Say, Nora...

Nora: Nora!

Ren: Quaint. Did you... happen to notice anything strange about Jaune lately?

Nora: Lately? Like what?

Ren: The way his powers have been developing. His strange resiliences to effects not even his divinely gifted protection should be able to handle. The way his sword smites with a ghastly purple sheen around the heavenly gold.

Nora: Wait a minute... Don't tell me you only just noticed!

Ren: Noticed what?

Nora: That all the girls hanging around our fearless leader are the avatars of his patrons. Duh!

Ren: *Double takes, triple takes* WHAT?! You are telling me that Jaune, a Paladin of righteous virtue, defender of the oppressed, lifter of the fallen and warden of the wounded, is in reality a Warlock of ruinous powers?

Nora: Yeah, but also kinda no. He's definitely still the same sweet not-so-little himbo we've always known though.

Ren: *Hands on Nora's shoulders* Explain. Now. Please.

Nora: Okidoki! *Directs Ren's head to the feminine crowd around Jaune* See the raven-haired one who looks at Jaune with a smouldering eye, but at everyone else like she gonna immolate them on the spot?

Ren: Cinder, yes.

Nora: Well, she's actually C'indahr, The Fallen One and Daemon of Fire and Ambition.

Ren: I beg your finest fucking pardon?

Nora: *Ignoring her Renny* Her only ambition right now is to continue getting her guts routinely rearranged by Jaune, by the way.

Ren: You can not be serious...

Nora: Deathly serious. Speaking of which, see the shorter one, with those fascinating silver eyes that are filled with lustful longing whenever she's looking at Jaune?

Ren: Ruby?

Nora: Yup, that's actually Ru'beya, The Reaper and Guider of Souls. What'd you think was the reason so few deaths happen around us?

Ren: *Recollecting several, definitely past the realm of, near-death experiences* I... wha...

Nora: And the fiery haired one right next to her is S'Ya'ngrila, Force of Pain, Reflection and the Brightness of the Sun. Just look at her being a ball of sunshine around our best boy!

Ren: That is who Yang is?! I thought she was a fellow monk like me, only of a different order...

Nora: A monk who definitely indulges her earthly desires if the sounds of some nights are to be believed. Oh, and supposedly she and Ruby got the same mortal dad but different not-so-mortal mother. Man, lemme tell ya, I want to shake that legend's hand.

Ren: Then... what about Jessica?

Nora: That's Je'sican, Green Deamon of Hope.

Ren: Deamon?! But... but hope is supposed to be a force of good! Right?

Nora: Eh, sometimes I guess. More often it's just delayed despair. Oh, and she's also a Fulcrum of Interplanary Connections!

Ren: Wait... is that how we escaped the Fae Realm so easily? I always thought that was too extraordinary to be simple luck.

Nora: Ay-yup-yup! She didn't want the Winter Court to get their grabby grabbers all over Jaune's hot Paladin bod. So ripping a portal between realms was no biggie.

Ren: *Remembering how Jaune-centered the Schnee house's efforts were* That... still explains less than I would like. I am also getting scared to ask about Salem now...

Nora: Honestly, I'd thought she'd be the most obvious one, seeing how she's literally Salem, Queen of The Grimm Realm, Mistress of the Black Horde.

Ren: *Quietly* I thought she was a Grimm summoner with a... a bit of a fascination bordering on obsession...

Nora: Oh, she's waaaay past obsessed. Obsessed for that Arc Booty that is. She might bend Grimm to her will, but she also loves getting bent over by our golden boy.

Ren: Please do not tell me Pyrrha is a deamon too...

Nora: Pfft, no. Of course she's not.

Ren: Thank the gods...

Nora: And thank her you can! 'Cause she's the actual Pyrrha, Goddess of Grace in Battle and Destiny. She was Jaune's original patron, didn't ya know? Such a difference in composure between her being in battle and her being in bed with her Chosen One.

Ren: *Slumping to the ground* I need to sit down...

Nora: We're making camp anyway, so it's as good a time as any.

Ren: When...

Nora: When what?

Ren: When did you know all those women were all divine and/or profane in nature?

Nora: From the get-go.

Ren: *Stares in "how the fuck?"* ...

Nora: Because like knows like, of course! Naturally, they had me pegged right back at the same time.

Ren: *Dawning realisation* You... You are not just an elemental barbarian, are you?

Nora: Nope! I am North-Wrath, the Hammer that Thunders and Patron Goddess of Feasts! And your personal booping receptacle, of course! *Whispers huskily into Ren's ear* You really know how to reach my good spots after all.

Ren: *Sitting with his perspective on life and recent adventures shattered beyond recognition* ...

Nora: *Pats her Renny on the head* Aaaah... good talk, Renny. Happy to have cleared things up for ya!

[drenosa]

The ways to weigh a destination...

Jaune: Okay, so the next stop is a placed simple called Weigh.

Weiss: A place just called Way?

Jaune: No, no. Weigh.

Weiss: Yes, which is what I said. Way.

Jaune: Again, no. The place is called Weigh.

Weiss: Which is what I am saying!

Jaune: You're saying Way. As in, "The town of Weigh is that way."

Weiss: ...

Jaune: I'm saying Weigh. As in, "Look at the way I weigh this apple."

Weiss: ...

Jaune: ...

Weiss: Fuck you, Arc.

Jaune: Not until we make our way to Weigh.

[drenosa]

Catching up on old times...

Cardin: *Schneeter Posting* [Apparently that Arc dweeb's still alive, so I'm gonna invite him to a "friendly spar" to make sure he still knows his place. Posting a vid of the fight later today!]

~~~~~~~~~~

Later...

Cardin: [Apparently Arc's got hands now. I ain't posting shit.]

~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile...

Jaune: *Also posting* [Reconnected with an old classmate. Amazing to learn just how much present-me has grown compared to past-me. Even got it on video, will do some editing and post it in a bit.]

[drenosa]

Another day, another spar...

Crowd: Boo! You suck! Booo!

Jaune: :(

Ruby: Stop worrying what other people think!

Jaune: :)

Ruby: You're genuinely bad at this, though!

Jaune: :/

[drenosa]

Jaune: I know all 25 letters of the alphabet.

Weiss: There are 26 letters, you half-wit!

Jaune: *Shrugs* I only know 25, I don't know Y.

Weiss: *Close to experiencing an aneurysm* ...

Yang: *Wheezing from laughter*

[drenosa]

Before the trip to Mistral...

Jaune: So, whose bright idea was it to snag some fortune cookies again?

Ruby: Dunno.

Nora: Dunno.

Ren: I do not know.

Qrow: Just crack the biscuits, runts. *Cracking sounds followed by reading*

Qrow: "Watch your gut." Helpful as always.

Ruby: "Removing the stinger won't solve the problem." Seems... specific?

Ren: "Enough horsing around and cut through the bullshit." How descriptive.

Nora: Funny that. Mine basically says the same but that I should hammer it home.

Jaune: "You're gonna get whacked by a giant mech." Uh... huh...

[drenosa]

Not so friendly banter...

Weiss: You know it is Xiao-Long coming around the corner because the vulgarity that is her oversized sacks of fat arrive ten minutes before the rest of her body does.

Yang: The Ice Queen isn't leaning her head back as far as she does because of her oversized ego weighing it down. It's because it's only then that she can actually look down on people for once.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss: The reason Xiao-Long can keep fighting after receiving multiple debilitating blows to the head is not because she possesses remarkable resilience. It is because there is nothing within her skull to debilitate in the first place.

Yang: Our Ice Queen lacks a certain fortitude in combat. She doesn't dodge and dance like that because it gives her an advantage. She does that because even a stray pebble thrown by a gust of wind would result in a concussion.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss: Xiao-Long does not posses any proper weapons besides her fists because her utter lack of grace would destroy even the simplest of clubs by the mere act of holding it.

Yang: Ice Queen here uses a toothpick for a weapon not because it's elegant or "befitting her station". It's because anything heavier would give her frail frame a herniated disc.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss: If you would present me with a picture of a Beringel next to a one of Xiao-Long and ask me about any differences between the two, I would state the Beringel has better posture.

Yang: If you showed me pictures of a Deathstalker and the Ice Queen side-by-side and ask me which one I prefer, I'd go with Deathstalker because it'd be the cuddlier one of the two.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss: Xiao-Long gets compared to a sun because staring at her for too long will make you burn your cornea's beyond repair.

Yang: She's called an Ice Queen because you'll develop necrotic frostbite when you stay close to her for too long.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Ruby: JESUS CHRIST- WOULD YOU TWO JUST FUCK ALREADY?

[drenosa]

Weiss: We already did! Yang: We already did!

Weiss: Hey, do not shout to my partner like that! Yang: Hey, don't shout at my sister like that!

Weiss: Will you be quiet?! Yang: Will you be quiet?!

Weiss: Stop copying me! Yang: Stop copying me!

Weiss: No, you stop copying me! Yang: No, you stop copying me!

Weiss: ... Yang: ...

Weiss: Brute. Yang: Brat.

Weiss: Barbarian. Yang: Kleptocrat.

Weiss: Fat-Sacks. Yang: Washboard.

Weiss: Philistine. Yang: Cunt.

Weiss: Bitch. Yang: Spare.

Weiss: Incompetent. Yang: Overcompensator.

Weiss: Leftover. Yang: Pseudo-orphan.

Weiss: ... Yang: ...

Weiss: *Making out furiously* Yang: *Making out furiously*

Ruby: *Suffering* ...

Ruby: How do you two even function?

[notmaplemable]

Faunus RWBY Goes To Vacuo

Alligator Yang: This is nice. Lot's of great places to sunbathe.

Blake, just Blake: Yeah, it's almost like home.

Bird Ruby: *Flapping her wings* Weiss! Are you okay?

Snow Leopard Weiss: *Heat stroke*

[drenosa]

Faunus JNOR is there too

Dog!Jaune: *Panting like crazy* Oh gods, this heat's oppressing me.

Salamander!Ren: *Sunbathing* Just drink more water.

Bird!Oscar: *Flapping like crazy* Guys, Nora's melting!

Bear!Nora: *Undergoing heat stroke, how expected*

[drenosa]

Not so friendly banter...

Weiss: You know it is Xiao-Long coming around the corner because the vulgarity that is her oversized sacks of fat arrive ten minutes before the rest of her body does.

Yang: The Ice Queen isn't leaning her head back as far as she does because of her oversized ego weighing it down. It's because it's only then that she can actually look down on people for once.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss: The reason Xiao-Long can keep fighting after receiving multiple debilitating blows to the head is not because she possesses remarkable resilience. It is because there is nothing within her skull to debilitate in the first place.

Yang: Our Ice Queen lacks a certain fortitude in combat. She doesn't dodge and dance like that because it gives her an advantage. She does that because even a stray pebble thrown by a gust of wind would result in a concussion.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss: Xiao-Long does not posses any proper weapons besides her fists because her utter lack of grace would destroy even the simplest of clubs by the mere act of holding it.

Yang: Ice Queen here uses a toothpick for a weapon not because it's elegant or "befitting her station". It's because anything heavier would give her frail frame a herniated disc.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss: If you would present me with a picture of a Beringel next to a one of Xiao-Long and ask me about any differences between the two, I would state the Beringel has better posture.

Yang: If you showed me pictures of a Deathstalker and the Ice Queen side-by-side and ask me which one I prefer, I'd go with Deathstalker because it'd be the cuddlier one of the two.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss: Xiao-Long gets compared to a sun because staring at her for too long will make you burn your cornea's beyond repair.

Yang: She's called an Ice Queen because you'll develop necrotic frostbite when you stay close to her for too long.