Dried Expo Pen

*screech skreeechy scret-* hmm. *skreeeee-* "oh well." *SCREEEEEE*

[dried-expo-pen]

If I had a nickel for everytime I felt more like a spirit piloting a body than an actual person in my own skin, specifically at work, I'd have less than a dollar but it's still concerning

[dried-expo-pen]

I think it's interesting that at 15 you kind of pick a hill to die on and then 10 or 20 years later sometimes you look around and you've tread so heavily you can't tell if was ever a hill at all

[threedollarsdotcom]

STOP!!! telling me to change my lifestyle ive had ENOUGH!!!! of people teling me to "drop it" or asking "whats in your mouth". I VE GOT THANGS TO DO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!1!1!!!!!!

[notatzimisce]

if you're going to be serious about getting people to stop doing a heavily corporate-pushed and societally pressured thing that harms them you cannot hope that banning them from doing it will do literally anything. you have to do whatever they were doing in the 90s that turned the tide against smoking so hard that Big Tobacco had to invent a whole new form of nicotine to hook the youths en masse

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

[dried-expo-pen]

Maybe this is a sign of hyper independence but there is no high on this earth better than smoothly assembling a piece of furniture solo when the directions recommend 2 people

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

[dried-expo-pen]

Cat and Dog cowboys meeting out on the range:

Cat: Meowdy doo *tips hat*

Dog: Howdy barkner *tips hat back*

[monster2003]

I’m putting in my too weak notice.

[ryebreadedd]

im a protected species you fucking asshole

[sunflower-eddiediaz]

boobs should have a toggle on/off feature

[funstyle]

Yall know when they film pornos the erections arent real right. Its just someone below a stage moving it on a wire like the muppets

[byjove]

teary-eyed knight excitedly holding up a tiny pair of sabatons to indicate he has just acquired a squire

[valend]

Yahhh I have to build Rome. Yup it’s due tomorrow.. noo I haven’t started yet haha is that bad?

[headspace-hotel]

If you design a shampoo bottle that you can't stand upside down so the last of the shampoo will run into the top of the bottle where you can squirt it out, what the hell are you doing?

[wordfather]

they're a problematic character TO YOU. they're problematic to me as well but I'm being weird and horny about it so it's different

[ofchaosgoddess]

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

[nothereforthedrama]

help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels