Claire Keane
Cosimo Galluzzi

pixel skylines
One Nice Bug Per Day
occasionally subtle
The Bowery Presents
Not today Justin
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Origami Around
official daine visual archive

Kiana Khansmith
ojovivo
noise dept.
Misplaced Lens Cap

shark vs the universe
Cosmic Funnies
almost home

blake kathryn
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
taylor price
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@duetly
So it’s been awhile since I’ve bound anything, but when I read the Cursed Amulet Story by @sunderwight, I was like, I gotta make an actual, physical evil amulet now. Except the evil amulet is also going to be a book. And the book is like a diary by the guy trapped in the amulet.
honestly just some real down and dirty nuts and bolts sex details i've seen wildly misrepresented out there for less experienced folks writing smut
precum: completely clear to slightly translucent, usually only a bead or two. not white (a sign of infection unless they JUST ejaculated and did not fully clear the urethra). not tons of it covering your hand or dripping down their balls (for effect, whatever, but you'd mostly see more precum as a result of lengthy denial/edging). taste is very mild, a bit salty, and varies little from person to person compared to cum or vaginal wetness.
cum: tastes wildly different from person to person and depending on what they ate, but generally has a base note of bitterness and sourness. cum will usually be a thick white liquid but sometimes will be thinner and more transluscent. older folks generally have more viscous cum that may be closer to cream color if you're really into Details. people generally do not have more than a few spurts of cum per orgasm unless you're writing hyperspermia or inflation or something.
vaginal wetness: day-to-day it's normal for it to range anywhere from clear and thin to white and creamy. that's all good. but the lubrication/arousal fluids released during sex are clear. you're only going to see white as a result of the day's previous discharge. please do not have your characters gushing white cream (unless there is also cum at play). they need miconazole.
squirting: the liquid is clear and thin. honestly like water. very very mild in both scent and flavor. can be just a dribble, can have a good amount of force behind it, more of a gush than a geyser. it's more like one uncontrollable pour of liquid than a series of spurts the way cum is.
vaginal flavor: the most accurate description ive ever come up with is drinking a moscow mule from a copper mug, but i recognize that's not accessible to many people. there's tartness and bitterness primarily, but there are often some deeper richer notes if you really wanna get into pussy sommelier stuff. varies a lot from person to person but the main flavor profile of acid and bitter is the core. you might also get a salty or musky note, especially at the end of the day. during the period, it pretty much just tastes like blood. no real way to sugarcoat that, although in fanfic people seem very committed to saying "pennies." it's blood. maybe a bit warmer tasting. like if blood is a squash then period blood is a sweet potato. if that's anything.
vaginal texture: silky. warm. always wet but moreso when aroused. arousal fluid is much more slippery than regular discharge. feel the inside of your cheek when your mouth is full of spit if you don't have a vagina you can put a couple fingers inside of. the vagina should not be tacky, sticky, gummy, or any other adjective you could also use to describe a piece of candy stuck half-melted onto your car's dash.
vaginal movement: the vagina gradually tightens for a few seconds before orgasm, when it clenches hard for a brief moment, and then pulses extremely quickly and then those pulses get slower. all of this happens within about thirty seconds. the clenching can be VERY strong and tight or it might be much softer like a flutter depending on the strength of the kegel muscles. that does not necessarily correlate with how "good" the orgasm is.
pubic hair: all people have coarse pubic hair, but the texture does vary from person to person quite a bit. some people have very tight coils and some are nearly straight. imo as with head hair, avoid describing it as anything but thick or coarse hair if you're trying to write x reader stuff.
circumcision: the vast majority of american men over 25 are circumcised to the point that most americans will see this as the default and might never even see an uncut dick irl. however, this is NOT AT ALL the normal in any other country on earth. please do your research and consider what suits your character! and if you're going to write someone uncut, PLEASE do not go yanking down their foreskin. uncut dicks are generally more sensitive as well.
ultimately, whatever floats your boat and knocks your rocks, but if you're aiming for more realistic smut and you don't have the personal experience to get some of those nasty details, maybe this will help
ive had sex with maybe 100 people in my day and i read a lot of fanfic and any time i see these written in weird ways i get so yoinked out of the moment like ah i see this writer is not familiar with what it is like to be in a vagina or holding a penis
i fucking love the matrix
this is so unwarranted, but scalpers, people who park in handicap stalls when they and none of their passengers are disabled, "alternative health" marketers, and televangelists should get their teeth kicked in
this is the vibe i bring to the party actually
unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!
(warning: loud chirping throughout)
source: hellgate osprey cam
More context:
the first osprey is the father, the one that comes later is the mother.
ospreys are not eagles, they're ospreys
ospreys only eat fish, that's why they don't register this starling as possible food
the starling got home safely
the starling was not trying to eat the eggs, it was mostly curious and you can see it trying to hop under the osprey every time the osprey tries to sit down again--this is because the starling is still a baby and has the instinct to get under an adult for warmth, even though it mostly has its feathers. this scares the osprey because that is a Foreign Creature near its eggs.
at the end of the video you can see the ospreys starting to turn the eggs. birds do this so the yolk and/or embryo don't stick to the shell of the egg, which is bad for the egg's health.
ospreys have eyes adapted to seeing beneath the surface of the water!
I know I'm moaning and bitching a lot lately, but please take my hand and walk with me for a bit...
I'm genuinely at my wits' end here. I'm virtually on my knees begging for fandoms to start interacting again. I add a separate "Hey, please come talk to me!" author's note to the end of my fics, and I frequently try to post interactive things and do my best to answer asks in a fun way that can be followed up on.
What do you need from me to engage again? I am so so serious right now. Because I know that I can't and also don't want to keep bitching about it forever. That's not healthy for either me or the fandoms I'm in. I don't want to make everybody and myself miserable with this, and at the same time, I'd like to find a way to deal with this that won't have me oscillating between being angry and upset about the current state of fandom.
Every day, I look at the leftover requests in my inbox and just frown...not because I'm annoyed about them, I asked for them, but I know with an uncomfortably high certainty that even the anons requesting those won't come back to 'em. I'm honestly so tired and exhausted from throwing my fanfics into the void to keep hoping that someone may have the grace to leave a comment or reblog with their thoughts.
Authors can't read your minds, and ❤-ing a post does absolutely nothing on the comment and reblog webbed site. And I'm well aware that this is a recurring problem everywhere. Just look at the comment to reblog to like ratio on popular fanfics in big fandoms. It's devastating to look at that as a content creator who does alla that for free!
So, again, what do you need from your fandom content creators to start engaging again?
Reblogging again, because it's true ❤️🩹❤️🩹
“Because the truth is, tech doesn’t have an image problem. It doesn’t have a message problem. It has an intention problem. What’s wrong with the axe murderer who broke into my house is not that he hasn’t successfully persuaded me to buy into his narrative. What’s wrong is that he’s trying to kill me with an axe. Similarly, when you launch a product that’s designed to put millions of people out of work, block access to sources of verifiable truth, replace human creativity with slop, and lower the barriers to every sort of atrocity, the problem isn’t that you haven’t told the public a good story about those things. The problem is that you are trying to do them.”
— The 40 Most Rage-Inducing Problems in Tech
I love how tumblr users play with Jorge I mean jpegs not Jorge who the fuck is Jorge
Spiders jpg
Woah dude
Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.
I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me
sometimes you do just have to lie to children.
If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”
If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.
So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”
Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.
See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.
you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.
You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter
Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated
God I fucking love being a monk at the Monastery of Lindisfarne on this fine morning of June 8th, 793. I love looking at all the gold and silver objects and alive monks that live here.
apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.
it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.
i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.
so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”
And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”
I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”
And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware
One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, she’s the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, “Well, I’M not walking six miles, Michael! I’ll meet you back at the car!” and sits right back down!!!!
The expression on his face when he was told that he couldn’t get on the boat, then immediately told that his girlfriend was ditching him? PRICELESS. he just blinked at her and then stormed off like a child. I gave her a free hat and was like maybe rethink this relationship…….
i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and he’s like “hey. you know what this is” i was like “nah sorry” (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some rando’s pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with “heh. you must not read many books”
i immediately stop pouring his beer. i reply: “heh. you must not want this beer.” thirsty boy immediately starts groveling like a worm “please please no i do want the beer im sorry im sorry” believe me when i say it was one of the most pathetic things ive ever witnessed
gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean
I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.
I can’t stop thinking about crocodiles for some reason so here’s some cool pictures I found of probably the second largest one in captivity, his name is Utan:
isn’t he beautiful
listen to the SOUND when he bites
and that’s not even a real power bite, that’s mostly just heavy bone falling on heavy bone from his jaws and the air rushing out from between them
2000 pounds of Good Boy
you get me
I honestly expected like 5 notes, what HAPPENED here
More tags on this ridiculous post:
Wait, thats the 2nd biggest crocodile? Then what does the biggest one look like?
That would be Cassius, a very old Saltwater crocodile who is estimated to be around 114 years old and lives at Marineland Melanesia in Green Island, Australia. His official measurement is 5.48 meters, which makes him the largest in captivity currently. Because Utan is only slightly smaller and much younger, (only in his 50s), he will likely break Cassius’ record eventually. But for now, Cassius holds the title:
He is NOT, however, either the largest crocodile ever captured in Australia OR the largest ever in captivity.
A slightly larger crocodile has been reported (though not yet comfirmed) to have been captured at 5.58 meters.
And while the famous Brutus of the Adelaide River was estimated to be just slightly larger than Cassius at 5.5m, he was driven out of his territory by a younger and even larger crocodile, who as a result has been given the name, The Dominator. He is estimated to be just over 6m.
This is Brutus, with an appropriate caption:
It is believed that he lost that arm in a fight with a Bull Shark.
The Bull Shark lost.
THIS is the crocodile who kicked him out. The Dominator:
And that’s STILL not the biggest.
The largest living crocodile ever reliably measured was Lolong, who for the 1.5 years between his capture and his death was the largest crocodile ever held in captivity, at a whopping 6.17 meters (20 feet 3 inches) and 1075 kg (2,370 lbs). He had been feeding on both humans and very large livestock in the Bunawan creek in Agusan del Sur in the Philippines. It took 100 people all night to drag him to shore during his capture.
And here’s why:
Also, to prevent credit from getting buried on a separate reblog, I have been informed that the above image of the crocodile with the cartoon eyes and halo was made by @rashkah! (And it is wonderful and I would like to thank him for its existence, because it perfectly captures my feelings about terrifying giant primordial reptiles.)
@theonewhocheeps
Holy fuck
As far as Brutus is concerned I was led to believe that he lost that arm when relatively young.
Since then Brutus developed a habit of hunting and eating Bull Sharks.
Here’s him with a prey.
And if you thought that you’ll be safe if you just stay out of Australia then think again!
Meet Gustave the Nile Croc.
This crocodile became almost legendary for both it’s size and the habit of hunting both livestock AND humans.
So how big is Gustave?
No one is sure. Since he was NEVER captured.
His estimated size is of at least 5,5m but some give him over 6m.
The terrifying parts are:
1) He is still growing having only about 60 years.
2) Adult crocodiles often perform a gesture of submission to him - something usually done by young crocodiles toward adults - Gustave is just THAT BIG.
3) His sheer size makes it difficult for him to catch agile prey Nile crocs tend to feed on - hence why he developed a habit of hunting either larger prey like Hippopotamus or creatures which are not good at spotting danger in the first place like livestock and humans.
And this is NOT ALL.
Gustave actually has a noticeable scars on his body - he was shot at east 3 times and stabbed with a spear or something similar at one occasion.
He lived to tell the tale - my question is:
What happened to that one dude who attacked Gustave with a spear?
*Crocodile Dundee voice* Mate, that’s not Gustave:
THIS is Gustave:
And he is the PERFECT CROCODILE. He is the perfect example of what I mean when I talk about (as I do) how the morphology of extremely large crocodiles adapts to the changing physics of their bite.
This is a typical adult Nile Crocodile:
And THIS is a god among his kind:
This is it, folks. The Final Form. THIS is what peak performance looks like.
Crocodiles and physics have an interesting relationship. Crocodiles have, by a CONSIDERABLE MARGIN, the strongest bite of any animal on Earth. EVER. Scaled up estimates (based on Nile and Saltwater crocodiles) give the extinct Deinosuchus an estimated bite force MORE THAN DOUBLE the recently updated Tyrannosaurus bite estimates. Living crocodiles have bite forces measured in the range of 5000 pounds per square inch, for an individual around 15-16 feet. It is estimated that modern crocodiles in the range of 18-20 feet would have bit forces around 7-8000 psi or more.
That’s a problem.
Because a crocodile’s skull is only designed to handle so much pressure. Go beyond that limit and the force of impact when those jaws snap shut could literally shatter their own skulls.
But evolution has spent hundreds of millions of years perfecting crocodiles, so PHYSICS ISN’T GOING TO STOP THEM. What ends up happening in the skulls of these extremely large crocodiles is they will increase dramatically in mass to compensate for the increased forces. A crocodile’s skull is almost exclusively solid bone, with only minimal space for nasal passages, a surprisingly advanced brain, and some slightly porous looking framework that helps the bone distribute the force over a larger area. The effect is by far the most pronounced in Nile crocodiles, which most regularly feed on larger prey and need to make use of all that power.
Compare, 26 inch skull:
vs 29 inch skull:
Both of those are Nile crocodile skulls (or rather, replicas thereof).
And just for fun, here are the skulls of completely different (and very extinct species), Deinosuchus:
and Purussaurus:
The bigger the crocodile (within a given species), the more massive the skull needs to be to compensate for that UNBELIEVABLE bit pressure. This is one way to see from a distance whether you are looking at a normal sized crocodile:
and a truly extraordinary individual:
One of the things about Gustave that’s so impressive is how healthy his teeth look. A lot of large crocodiles, in their old age, have very worn down and often missing teeth. They do replace them many times over a lifetime, but when they get very old this slows down. Gustave, at least in every picture taken of him, had teeth that were in very good condition.
Even crocodiles much smaller than Gustave’s reported size (probably similar in size to Dominator or Lolong) tend to have smaller or more worn teeth:
than the pinnacle of his kind:
Lolong! It means Gramps or Grandpa, because he’s a relic of an ancient world where crocs more massive than he was walked the earth. His body is on display somewhere right now though I forgot where.
Lolong’s body is at the National Museum of the Philippines! They taxidermied his hide and they suspended his skeleton so you can see just how massive his skull is!
vic michaelis, the madlad that you are