It's somethin, that's for sure

My name is Elder, I don't tolerate hatred on this blog. If you're having a bad time, message me and I'll see what I can do. Sideblogs: @afriendofnirn, @chronicles-of-brom

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[vitterdotter]

no more divine feminine/masculine as repackaged gender roles, no more crystals to cure cancer, no more higher self instead of looking at yourself, no more starseeds, no more fear mongering around protection magic, no more calling toxicity "energy vampirism", no more applying new age terms to folk practices, no more anthropomorphizing spirits, no more

[captain-price-returns]

[dragongirlsnout]

don't cry okay? huge as fuck bowl of strawberry

[dragongirlsnout]

Don't cry okay? Huge as fuck container of blueberry

[dragongirlsnout]

don't cry okay? huge as fuck bag of blackberry

[dragongirlsnout]

if i had a quantity of raspberries this large i would end up on the news

[theconcealedweapon]

The assholes openly admit it. The whole point of college is to enforce the hierarchy. When those who were supposed to be low on the hierarchy started going to college, the assholes get angry and want to make them suffer for challenging the hierarchy.

[charlesoberonn]

Fallout vault idea: Vault 60 - The Snooze Button Vault

From when it first closed after the bombs fell, the vault door is on a timer of 60 years before it can be opened. However, at any point, if any resident wishes for it, they can go to one of the terminals or use their Pip-Boy to reset the timer back to 60 years. The identity of the resetter is anonymous.

The idea is that opening the door should require the vault inhabitants (of which there're 3600) to reach a consensus. A single dissenting voice can ruin everything for everybody.

I think it'd be interesting to explore how a society of thousands of people could possibly reach that consensus if it's even possible, and what would they try along the way until they get there.

[charlesoberonn]

Maybe make it Vault 50 and have the timer be 5 years instead.

[charlesoberonn]

Actually 5 years is exactly 60 months so it can still be Vault 60.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

PARENT: I got "rubber duck" for my child's "bath" and she loves it.

AUTISM RESPONSE: Rubber ducks and other rubber bath toys can accumulate mold on the inside because of small holes underneath where moisture becomes trapped. The mold often goes unnoticed because it's not visible from the outside.

CORRECT RESPONSE(?): That's nice, I am unaware of how mold could impact this situation.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

Customer: Forgot to put my orange juice on the conveyer belt.

PENDING RESPONSE: That particular brand is currently being sued for sanitation issues in its factory the next town over

IMPORTANT NOTIFICATION⚠️: A grocery store cashier is supposed to successfully sell items to "customer"

[the-haiku-bot]

Customer: Forgot

to put my orange juice on

the conveyer belt.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[josephbrassey]

“Haha remember when murder-hornets were gonna be a thing? What a nothingburger.”

Yes, because the Washington state government activated like a sleeper-cell and ruthlessly, systematically hunted them down and annihilated them.

“Y2K came to nothing amirite?”

Yes because an army of software engineers working around the clock, losing sleep, and busting ass till the last minute prevented it from happening.

“Remember the hole in the ozone layer?”

You mean the one that was fixed through rigorous world wide government action?

One of the root problems of our society is a refusal or inability by media to articulate that all those “it’s gonna be an apocalypse” disasters were not disasters because we collectively did something about them.

The good news is this is actually quite correctable. I maintain my firm belief that we as humans are capable of solving almost all of our problems, when we decide to do so.

And I still think that’s going to happen. I don’t know when or how, but I do know that abandoning hope won’t help bring it about.

And I refuse to let the cynics own a chunk of my heart.

[gudamor]

Happy Smallpox Eradication Day

[wheelie-sick]

when people tag posts "unreality" it's a signal to people who struggle with discerning reality that a (likely scary if believed to be true) post is not real even though it's written as if it was. it's also a filter tag so those people can opt out of seeing posts like that entirely. many people who rely on the unreality tag are psychotic and struggle with paranoia alongside (or because of) the struggles discerning what's real. posts that these people interpret to be real can lead to incredible distress and compulsions.

when someone tags your post "#unreality" and you screenshot the tags and say "what are you talking about? this is real" because you consider the post easy to discern as not real and find this joke funny you're actually just causing paranoia for people who now feel like they can't trust the unreality tag. not everyone has the same reality discernment skills as you. what's "obviously" a fictional story to you may not be obvious to other people.

I don't think most people make this joke maliciously. I think most people making this joke don't even realize why the unreality tag exists. anyways, if you've made this joke or have the urge to make this joke then consider not doing that.

[depsidase]

[theconcealedweapon]

[animentality]

[animentality]

[animentality]

[animentality]

[animentality]