Damned Scribbling Woman

~ www.zoemarriott.com ~ http://thezoe-trope.blogspot.co.uk/ ~ @ZMarriott ~

[lawyerlarrie]

How Entertainment Closeting Works

This was sent to me off anon. I have every reason to believe that everything in it is true. She’s not revealing any great receipt or anything (nothing specific to HL), so even if there are fuzzy details (which there aren’t, just allowing for the possibility), the heart of what she is saying is informative and eye-opening. I really want to thank her for being willing to share her experience with us. I’ll put most of this under a cut because it is long. But it’s well worth the read.

Keep reading

[diversityinya]

Judging People by Their Covers

By Zoë Marriott

There’s a photograph and a biography at the end of this post. Check it out now if you want. What’s your first impression of the person represented there? A pale-skinned, bespectacled blonde. British. First published quite young. Likes animals. That’s usually enough to give people a strong idea that they know who I am. But it’s not all there is to know.

If there’s one thing fiction is brilliant at, it’s proving to readers that nothing is as it seems.

In 2014 my first urban fantasy and the opening novel of my trilogy came out in the US. The Name of the Blade presented readers with Mio Yamato, a British-born Japanese heroine who is good with swords and almost recklessly valiant, her supernatural and seemingly perfect boyfriend, and a smart-mouthed best friend, Jack. Mio’s parents are out of the country on holiday and it’s up to Mio and crew to save London before those pesky adults get back and ground Mio for unleashing the monsters of Japanese myth onto the streets. Cliche cliché cliché. Right?

Well, I hope that the first book proved the characters had inner life and unexpected depth, and their world was darker and more complex than that.

But in Darkness Hidden, the second book of the trilogy, it was really time to start ripping back the reader’s assumptions. Mio, still suffering from the events of the first book, becomes paralysed with fear of making the wrong decision again, and all her ass-kicking becomes a sort of avoidance technique to distract her from taking more meaningful action. The perfectly devoted supernatural boyfriend is revealed to be psychologically fragile, maybe even broken, a habitual liar who seeks to protect himself by keeping the full truth from Mio. Tough, protective, physically capable Jack is left vulnerable and hurt. And the parents I’d so conveniently dispensed with in the first book? Turn out to have a great deal more to offer the story than either readers or Mio expected in this one.

I’m committed to diversity in my writing. Out of seven published YA novels, six have a protagonist who is a woman of colour (it will surprise no one that the single book with a white heroine is the most successful in terms of sales). Many of my books deal with mental illness and disability, and portray a whole spectrum of different sexualities and gender presentations. Sometimes people ask me why I ‘bother’ to do this, clearly assuming that my default must be the same as theirs – straight, white, able-bodied and cis. Surely it must be a lot of effort to include all these, you know, minorities and whatever?

It never crosses their mind that I might be among the minorities.

I don’t think authors should have to play privilege points in order to justify their choices. If someone wants to write books that are diverse, those books should be judged based on how good they are and nothing else.

But things aren’t always what they seem. That’s a good lesson for real life as well as fiction.

I hope readers will be intrigued and entertained by what I’ve attempted to do in Darkness Hidden – the gradual breaking down of what seemed at first to be the over-used tropes of urban fantasy. I hope they’ll come to see that their first impressions of the characters weren’t necessarily wrong, but that, just like in real life, what we can observe about a character at a single glance does not define them.

In choosing to write this particular series, which is set in contemporary London, has an all PoC cast, and pansexual, genderfluid and lesbian characters, I’m doing something that is vitally, personally important to me. Subverting the unquestioned assumptions I see in far too many YA novels. Taking characters whom all too often are pushed to the margins of the narrative, or even erased altogether, and offering them a voice, a point of view, and a story of their own.

I’m committed to diversity because I know how important it is to see your reflection in fiction growing up. I didn’t have that advantage, sadly.

What – not enough white-skinned blondes, you wonder? Oh yeah, plenty of those. But no one like me.

What my picture doesn’t show you, what my biography doesn’t reveal, is that I’m disabled, and have suffered with depression and anxiety all my life (I can quite clearly remember having my first suicidal thought when I was about eight). That my much-beloved family is mixed race. That I’m asexual, and after many years of work am now comfortable considering myself queer – although plenty of people (both gay and straight) like to tell me that I shouldn’t.

How many protagonists like me do you think I read about as a kid?

The best YA novels are not what they seem. They have unexpected depths and insights to offer that a reader will never discover unless they read on. And YA novelists – in fact, all people – are the same. Which means that, just as judging books by their cover is a bad idea, so is judging authors by their official biographies.

YA novelist Zoë Marriott lives on the bleak and windy East coast of Britain, in a house crowded with books, cats, and an eccentric sprocker named Finn (also known as the Devil Hound). Her folk and fairytale inspired fantasy novels are critically acclaimed and have been nominated for many awards, even winning a few, including a USBBY Outstanding International Book listing for The Swan Kingdom, and the prestigious Sasakawa Prize for Shadows on the Moon.

Darkness Hidden is available for purchase.

[diversetomes-blog]

Nonbinary identities have been denied and ignored throughout history, but with the dawning of social justice language and the ease with which we can communicate new ideas through technology, more and more attention is being given to non ‘traditional’ identities such as nonbinary genders every day - and the change is finally starting to reflect itself in our fiction!

In Zoe Marriott’s The Name of the Blade trilogy, sixteen year old Mio, a Japanese teen living in London, encounters a race of Japanese fox spirits called Kitsune - and all of them are nonbinary pansexuals. Major characters such as the king of the kitsune and Mio’s close friend Hikaru display their gender fluidity with ease and comfort, and the narrative never uses them as tokens or uses their gender to other them. The Kitsune switch pronouns depending on whichever form they’re currently in, and their pronouns are respected by the narrative and by other characters.

Jack, Mio’s lesbian best friend, begins a tentative romance with Hikaru after realizing she is not in fact male, and doesn’t hold Hikaru’s male traits against her, even when she’s in a male body. (*I’ll use female pronouns for Hikaru right now, because at the point I’m in in book 3 now, Hikaru is in a female body and using female pronouns.)

Historically, Kitsune have been portrayed as nonbinary and pansexual in several myths and legends, with human characters realizing that the beautiful fox spirit in the forest and the wizened old man that helped them on their journey were actually the same person.

When Hikaru, in male form, tries to kiss Jack and she reveals she is attracted to female, she asks her “is this one of those weird human sex hang-ups?” and promptly reveals that she subscribes to neither gender, instead switching into a female form in order to make Jack more comfortable.

Jack herself remarks that she’s always thought of gender as a social construct, but still has trouble reconciling her feelings for Hikaru at first. She does, eventually, come to accept that, although she first met her in a male body, Hikaru is neither truly male or female, and comes to respect her identity for what it is.

This truthful, varied exploration of gender identity and the nonbinary spectrum is decidedly lacking in the young adult genre, and it’s interesting to note that authors like Zoe Marriott - who is open about her own identity as an asexual person - are finally beginning to break down these barriers in representation to accurately portray their readers.

The Name of the Blade trilogy features a cast of main characters of colour - Mio, her parents, and her love interest are all Japanese, as are the fox spirits - and Jack and her sister are biracial, with Barbadian Ancestry.

Hopefully, we’ll begin to see stories in the genre that can match these in both intensity and diversity. If you like a bit of katana-wielding bad assery with your nonbinary characters, The Name of the Blade is the series for you!

[glowhq]

Endometriosis

Endometriosis—the struggle is real.  Killer cramps are NOT normal.  Periods that last longer than 7 days are NOT normal. Heavy bleeding that soaks through a tampon every 2 hours is NOT normal; pain during sex is NOT normal. Bouts of diarrhea and vomiting that accompany every menstrual cycle are NOT normal. No, no, and no!  For many people, this reality is just endometriosis at work.

Sad truth: Many of us are taught to downplay these symptoms. Our pain is diminished by parents, siblings, friends and even health care professionals who convince us that everyone goes through this.

Maybe that is why, according to the Endometriosis Foundation of America, it takes 10 years on average to receive an accurate endometriosis diagnosis. That’s a decade, people! That’s 130 periods of agony, 912 days of someone asking you to take Advil and suck it up.  That…is not okay.

Endometriosis is pervasive.  It affects 1 in 20 Americans of reproductive age and an estimated 176 million people worldwide. It occurs when tissue similar to the endometrium (the lining of the uterus) is found outside the uterus on other parts of the body.  

There are lots of symptoms that can vary among patients.  Pelvic pain is most common, as well as pain that coincides with menstruation.  Other symptoms include heavy cramps, long-lasting bleeding, nausea or vomiting, pain during sex and, unfortunately, infertility.  Some people may even experience symptoms throughout their entire cycle—a real drag.

In addition to these physical symptoms, endometriosis takes a toll on someone’s personal and professional life. Chronic pain can severely affect quality of life day-to-day; medical care can be extremely costly. Furthermore, absenteeism can alter relationships in the workplace and at home.

Despite the intense discomfort, many people do not realize they have endometriosis until they try to get pregnant. And because the disease tends to get progressively worse over time, approximately 30-40% of people who have endometriosis experience fertility challenges.

There is no simple diagnostic test for endometriosis—no blood, urine, or saliva testing can confirm the condition. The only way to verify endometriosis is to undergo a diagnostic laparoscopy with pathology confirmation of biopsy specimens.  

On the bright side, many endometriosis symptoms— including infertility—can be addressed after diagnosis. The gold standard for endometriosis treatment is laparoscopic excision surgery. This involves a careful removal of the entire endometrial lesion from wherever it grows.

The first step to getting there is recognizing that your pain is not normal and seeking timely intervention. The earlier endometriosis is detected and treated, the better the results. Tracking your symptoms will make you better informed for your next doctor’s visit, and set you on a path to better (and less painful!) menstrual health.

For more information about Endometriosis, visit www.endofound.org

[saucefactory-deactivated2019103]

It’s like, whatever we do, people try to disinherit us from our own experiences. Whether we’re cis girls or trans boys or genderqueer. I just wanted to say that as a teen who didn’t identify as female, I still had endometriosis, but what I said wasn’t taken seriously, either. At one point, I actually got told that I was having all this pain because “I didn’t accept my female body.” Basically, it was my fault that my system wasn’t “acting right,” because I wasn’t normal. It was nature’s way of punishing me. The pain was “all in my head” because I was “rejecting” my reproductive organs.

Ridiculous, right? I continued to suffer for many years, and eventually—at the age of 30!—had to have emergency surgery to remove a massive fucking ovarian cyst that had ruptured and filled my abdomen with blood. It was only during the biopsy resulting from said surgery that I was finally, officially diagnosed with endometriosis, because endometrial tissue was found outside the womb. A lot of it. That was what the cyst had been made of. By that age, my condition had worsened considerably, and I could have died of the hemorrhage. Good job, doctor who told me it was all my fault for being queer!

Anyway, I just wanted to say that if you ever get told shit like that, don’t believe it. If you identify as female, people will try to to tell you that they know your body better than you do, that your very femaleness disqualifies you from commenting on or understanding your own body, and that nothing you say can be trusted, because, as a female, you are overdramatic and irrational and liable to exaggerate every little discomfort.

Conversely, if you don’t identify as female, people will try to tell you that the “discrepancy” between your body and your gender identity is to blame for your medical problems, which aren’t valid and don’t deserve treatment because it’s really all your fault. The world will try to tell you that a) you’re abnormal, and b) your endometriosis is a direct result of your abnormality. Authority figures will try to tell you that you deserve being tortured. That you earned it by failing to conform to their expectations.

Don’t believe any of them. If a parent, guardian, family member or medical professional doesn’t respect you, regardless of how you identify, then you can’t trust what they’re telling you. While we’re very young, we unfortunately don’t have as much freedom to seek out medical help that suits us, but if your body is in pain, then something is wrong, and YOU have the right to decide that something is wrong. YOU have the right to seek a diagnosis and treatment from somebody who truly respects you and listens to you.

Anybody who tells you that your own sense of your body isn’t trustworthy is themselves not trustworthy. Don’t let them make you question yourself or doubt yourself, and don’t let them force you to live in pain when you could be getting effective treatment for it. If one doctor is an asshole, see another. And another. And another. Eventually, you’ll find someone that can give you the help you need. It’s living in pain that is abnormal, not you.

[remake-me-marie]

This shit is so real.

I starting having periods when I was 11 and I was in AGONY. All the time. It felt like I was dying.

I talked to my mom, the school nurse, my friends, my friends moms, and all I got was “Women have been dealing with this since Eve. Take some Midol. You’ll be fine.”

At 22 I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and given the pill for treatment. I was told it would take care of my symptoms. But it didn’t. (I do actually have PCOS, but it wasn’t the source of my pain.)

At 25, just this year, I was in so much agony I vomited in front of customers. I was pale and shaky and couldn’t stand upright. I was openly crying, bawling, and my boss just kind of looked at me like “You’re always so dramatic with your lady problems.”

And them BOOM. Out like a light.

Got treated in the ER and the doctor told me I needed to go back to my OBGYN’s office ASAP because this was not ok.

And I did.

And she told me she thought I had endometriosis, but couldn’t confirm without surgery even though my symptoms are textbook and she’s 100% sure that’s what it is.

Endometriosis, as stated above, happens when the endomitrium inside the uterus travels outside the uterus. 

What they didn’t say is that tissue still thinks it’s in your uterus and functions like it normally would; cramping and BLEEDING when you have your period. Only there’s no where for that blood to go.

Basically, I’ve bleeding internally since I was 11 and people told me to suck it up. 

And this is the story of how dismissive our culture is of womens health. How women who complain of reproductive health issues, of crippling pain, are looked at as liars and drama queens. 

It took 14 years and over a dozen OBGYN’s/ER doctors to get my diagnosis. 

And THAT. IS NOT. OKAY.

[durnedscribblingwoman]

^^^^^

[showgirlsteve-blog]

buddy cop movie with hayley atwell and idris elba as unlikely partners and dwayne the rock johnson as the bakery owner who witnesses a violent crime in the alley behind his shop and has to be protected

[durnedscribblingwoman]

Idris and Dwayne fall in love. Hayley is both of their best men at the wedding.

[millenniumfae]

You know what?

We need a more inclusive awareness about depression.

When depression is described, it usually (but not always) amounts to variations of ‘feeling sad’. But I don’t ‘feel sad’, so I spent ten years thinking that I was just super lazy and undisciplined.

Then, someone made an effort to point out that I might have depression. Had I never been introduced to the more ‘obscure’ symptoms, I never would have realized that I was worrying about the wrong things.

For some people, depression amounts to;

A bleak outlook on your life - feelings of hopelessness and disinterest in your future.

Persistent and chronic feelings of ‘sadness’ and ‘helplessness’

Thoughts of suicide and/or self harm.

But for me, depression is NOT any of those. I have;

Daily physical and mental exhaustion, but also severe insomnia. I am yawning by mid afternoon, but I can only scrape an average of five hours of sleep.

Lacking the ability to consciously construct a train of thought (without great effort). This prevents me from doing schoolwork, household chores, or socializing.

Chronic restlessness and physical discomfort, which accumulates to general grumpiness and frustration 24/7.

Persistent body pains and aches, especially in my neck and arms.

An altered perception of time. I forget sentences as I’m speaking them. It’s difficult to tell if something happened two hours ago, or two days ago. Every waking moment just blurs into one big boring stretch of unsatisfactory.

You can’t muscle through depression. Things will not get easier the more you try to tackle them. You know a great treatment for depression? Accommodating to it. Making your life easier. Recognizing the things you can and can’t do. 

We need more people to recognize their depression. Otherwise, they’ll keep struggling and struggling and they’ll wonder why everyone is having such a good time while they’re using up all their spoons simply by driving to work.

[drtanner]

THIS. THIS THIS THIS.

When I do get down and suffer from the typical “sad” symptoms of my depression, it gets really, really bad, and I have the hardest time digging myself back out of it - there are some people who have seen me at my worst and can attest to just how “classically depressed” I can become - but on a day to day basis, everything the OP describes is absolutely on point. That’s what it’s like, every day, and it’s garbage.

People don’t understand that there’s more to it than the catastrophic pit of miserable despair that they usually think of when they imagine “depression”, and they think that if you’re not sobbing on the floor all day that there’s nothing wrong. This is obviously patently untrue, and I’m so glad the OP made this post.

[lesbian-moon-gf]

There’s also dysthemia . It’s like a “Im a little sad, but its not extreme” over a long period of time. Like this neutral “meh” over everything

[durnedscribblingwoman]

I have lost whole months of my life to the numbness. There are swathes of my life that I don’t remember at all and the only reason I know that, say, I went to a place or had a strange haircut or wore that red dress is that there are photos showing those things. I might as well have been unconscious because none of it registered. I wasn’t home. The worst part is that I’m so numb I often don’t even notice there’s anything wrong at the time. Or... I don’t think I do? I can really only tell that I was really bad by looking back in retrospect and even then it’s cloudly and fake-seeming, like a dream.

[nightinghost]

So since the Vision...

-Is made out of Vibranium (Captain America) -Is powered by Thor’s lightning -Has a body because of Bruce Banner -Has the brain of Jarvis thanks to Iron Man -And probably has as much intel as Black Widow and Hawkeye

…. is he the embodiment of the Avengers assembled?

[durnedscribblingwoman]

DR HELEN CHO MADE VISION OMG HELEN CHO MADE HIS BODY HELEN CHO IS VISION’S CREATOR WHY DOES FANDOM REFUSE TO ADMIT THIS WOMAN EXISSSSSSTTTTTSSS

[imhereonthefloor]

Tumblr + Albus freaking Severus’ name

My other photosets here

[durnedscribblingwoman]

HP Fandom: THEY NEVER FORGET

[blackfashion]

Kimono from boohoo.com

LaQuann, 20, Ohio

lackwhen.tumblr.com

[durnedscribblingwoman]

No. That is not a kimono. It has nothing to do with a kimono. It’s not even a kimono’s distant cousin. Stop calling anything that vaguely seems to be a sort of robe thingy with a belt a kimono 2kforever, please.

[marrows]

I recently read an article about how women use the word “just” in work life and personal life more than men do because we feel we need to apologize or make whatever we have to say quick. “I’m just writing to say…” “I just want to know…” “Just checking in…”. It seems to trivialize what we have to say. 

Don’t apologize or feel you need to make little of what you are saying. Say it with intention. “I’m writing to tell you this…” “I want you to know…” “I’m checking in to make sure…" 

Since reading the article I’ve become aware of how much I was adding “just” so soften what I had to say, whether it needed to be softened or not. Say what you have to say with confidence and intent. without apology. what you have to say, no matter what it is, is important.

[queen-susans-revenge]

Okay, but there’s a *reason* why women soften their speech and affect–because we’re often punished if we don’t. Like how a while back a study came out that showed men will negotiate salary offers much more often than women do, and usually obtain a higher salary as a result. So there was this raft of career advice for women: “Don’t be afraid to negotiate your salary!!” Yeah, so then someone actually did a study on what happens *when* women attempt to negotiate salary. They trigger a backlash: in many cases the original offer is rescinded, and even if not, it succeeds at a much lower rate than negotiations for men do, and the woman gains a reputation for being “difficult.” Women don’t negotiate salaries because we’re not idiots. Similarly, I think a lot of the other social-hesitancy cues that women use, like using “just” or making everything into a question–we do that because otherwise we are punished. This isn’t just a matter of “be more assertive, ladies!” There’s more going on.

[sharpestrose]

Yeah, I was thinking similar things even as I reblogged the post. I’ve witnessed, and experienced firsthand, just how quickly the ‘troublemaker’ women – ie, remotely assertive – women are let go from organisations. 

I try to use a minimum of softening words when I correspond professionally these days, but a minimum isn’t zero by any stretch of the imagination. 

[durnedscribblingwoman]

It’s true. The process we need to go through isn’t for women to become more aggressive, to ‘lean in’ - to essentially act in ways that are male-coded - and not just because IT DOESN’T WORK, but also because... why the hell should we? Why are less aggressive, quieter and more collaborative styles of interaction in the workplace seen as somehow lesser *just because those are the ways that women prefer to work*?

Yes, women are conditioned to act in those ways, and yes, this requires examination. But men are *also* conditioned to act in their male coded ways - the aggression, the over-estimating of their own abilities, the super blunt/direct speech, the jostling for position - and those ways cause problems ALL THE TIME, and yet no one is telling men that they need to act ‘more like women do’ in order to improve.

Maybe we all need to stop judging others - consciously or unconsciously! - based on how well they conform to a gender-essentialist ideal of ‘how men/women should be’ and objectively examine what behaviours and ways of interacting actually produce the best environment for everyone and the highest quality work. And then start training people to do that, regardless of gender.

[bonitaapplebelle-deactivated201]

Cara Delevingne is literally the plainest looking white girl. 

[bonitaapplebelle-deactivated201]

Like they got this girl posing for vogue, like I can’t find 10 of her working at hollister 

[beachdeath]

yeah and she spent her vogue cover story talking about how difficult it was for her to come to terms with her sexual orientation and how she dealt with depression and suicidal ideation in the process but like why focus on that when you could post limp half-baked misogynistic drags about her appearance on tumblr.com it’s not like there are thousands of mentally ill queer girls looking up to her or anything

[durnedscribblingwoman]

CAn we not omG. There is literally no world where ‘hah hah she’s ugly’ is an OK comment, and yes, I know that people of colour have to face this awful industrialised beauty complex that crushes them and upholds white people and that is shit, but this individual white woman is not responsible for that and THERE IS STILL LITERALLY NO WORLD WHERE ‘HAH HAD SHE’S UGLY’ IS AN OK COMMENT. Just because you put ‘white girl’ in there, that doesn’t make it *not* misogynistic and awful to tear into a person because their physical appearance is not appealing to you.

[biwomensupport]

This post is going to explore how biphobia, misogyny, and rape culture intersect at an institutional level to cause the disproportionate rates of sexual violence seen against bisexual women.

Trigger warnings: discussion of rape, corrective rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, intimate partner violence, abuse, victim blaming, depression, PTSD, suicide, and some graphic examples of biphobic victim blaming

Bisexual women have the highest rates of rape and sexual assault

Bisexual women have a 46.1% chance of being forcibly raped. This rate is 2.6 times higher than straight women and 3.5 times higher than lesbian women. Bisexual women also have a 74.9% chance of being coercively raped or sexually assaulted. This rate is 1.7 times higher than straight women and 1.6 times higher than lesbian women (source).

78% of bisexual women report lifetime sexual victimization. Bisexual women report more severe adult victimization and significantly greater rates of revictimization (source).

So why is this happening?

Bisexual women are hypersexualized. We are stereotyped as promiscuous, slutty, dirty, and always interested in sexual attention. Men are taught by our culture to view bisexual women as sexual objects whose purpose is to fulfill their sexual desires, making it that much easier to disrespect bisexual women’s consent and justify sexual violence against us. This is closely tied to the victim blaming stereotypes that are used to invalidate any victim who can be viewed as too sexual and therefore not a valid victim. As Shiri Eisner put it, “what we have to say about [sexual attention], and whether or not we want to be sexual with anyone, just doesn’t matter. Because our bisexuality is made out to be not about us, but about cishet men” (source).

Bisexual women are fetishized. We are seen as sexual objects, as walking porn fantasies, as one-third of a threesome, rather than actual human beings. This causes sexual harassment, sexual assault, abuse, and rape that are specific to (one-male, two-female) threesome fantasies. Bi women frequently report experiences of men soliciting them for threesomes the moment they discover their bisexual identity, which is a form of degrading sexual harassment. Bi women report similar experiences with online dating profiles, even if their profile explicitly states that they are not interested in threesomes. Bi women are also coerced or forced into threesomes because of this.

Other biphobic stereotypes about bi women contribute to sexual assault. For example, we are also stereotyped as pretending to be bisexual specifically for men’s attention, which frames things like sexual harassment, assault, and rape as forms of “attention” that we wanted to receive.

Bi women are sometimes correctively raped. Corrective rape is a hate crime in which someone is raped because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Bisexual women experience corrective rape as a form of punishment for being bisexual, usually with the goal of making them heterosexual.

Although much of this is related to the way men (especially cis, straight men) are taught to view bisexual women, and although most of the sexual violence against bisexual women is perpetrated by men, people of any gender are capable of believing these stereotypes and perpetuating sexual violence against bisexual women.

Bisexual women have the highest rates of intimate partner violence

Bisexual people report significantly higher rates of emotional, financial, sexual, and physical intimate partner violence compared to gay and lesbian people (source).

49.3% of bisexual women are victims of severe physical intimate partner violence. Bisexual women have a 61.1% lifetime prevalence of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner (source).

Why?

Abusers tend to target marginalized people, period. Marginalized people are already in a position to have lower self-esteem, be less likely to have supportive friends, family, and communities, have less access to services like counseling and healthcare, be more likely to be treated poorly if they report, and on and on. This is painfully true for bisexuals, because we are not only unsupported by society at large but also often rejected from gay and lesbian spaces and denied their support.

Abusive partners sometimes use biphobia to perpetuate sexual violence against their bisexual partners. Abusers might coerce or force their bisexual partners into unwanted sexual acts or threesomes because they are bisexual and they’re “supposed” to want to do those things. Some abusers force their bisexual partners into unwanted open or polyamorous relationships, or expect their bisexual partners to tolerate cheating. 

Abusers draw on society’s biphobic narratives to reinforce and legitimize their abuse. For example, it’s common for abusers to say abusive things to their victims like this: “I know you’re cheating on me.” “No one else will ever love you.” “I know you’re lying to me.” But watch how the abuse is strengthened by biphobia: “I know you’re cheating on me, because everyone knows bisexuals are cheaters.” “No one else will ever love you, because no one wants to date a bisexual.” “I know you’re lying, because bisexuals aren’t trustworthy.” And sometimes, biphobia itself is the abuse. “You have to call yourself straight/gay/lesbian if you’re going to be with me.” “I will out you as bisexual if you don’t [do this].” When a bi person being abused hears the same biphobic stereotypes they’ve heard their whole life, it’s not just coming from their abuser - it feels like the whole world agrees. It’s a strategy to make victims feel even more powerless.

Bisexual women have the lowest rates of social support after disclosing victimization

(source)

Bisexual women have low social support to begin with. Bisexual people have less social support from family and friends (source). Bisexual people are less likely to be out of the closet than gay and lesbian people (source). Bisexual women and lesbians have comparable rates of mental distress in non-urban areas, but while lesbian women’s mental distress lowers significantly in urban areas, bisexual women’s nearly double. Researchers believe this is because of the lack of social support for bisexual women from lesbian and gay communities (source).

Biphobic stereotypes about bisexual women create barriers to social support after disclosing trauma. For example, we are stereotyped as untrustworthy liars, which leads to people being less likely to believe or support bi women survivors. The stereotypes of bisexual women as promiscuous and slutty lead to victim-blaming and the belief that either we were not raped or that it was our fault. The stereotype that bisexual women are lying for attention, combined with the widespread belief that women lie about being raped for attention, also contributes to this.

Bisexual women are often excluded from LGBT communities and have difficulty finding bisexual communities. If they can find a community, the chances of it being a safe space for bi women survivors are quite slim. LGBT and bi communities continue to have problems addressing intra-community issues of misogyny and rape culture.

Sexual assault resources cater to cisgender straight women. LGBT recovery resources are rare, and they usually cater to cisgender gay and lesbian victims. These resources are often unhelpful for bi women, or even unsafe or hostile towards them - although bisexual women survivors report reaching out to the greatest number of formal support resources, they were the least likely to report these resources as helpful (source). There are no known rape recovery resources specifically for bisexual women, other than this blog.

Other resources, such as counseling, also often have problems of misogyny, biphobia, and rape culture. Bisexual people often report negative experiences with mental healthcare providers who view their bisexuality as a symptom of mental illness to be overcome. Bisexual people sometimes even experience conversion therapy when seeking out counseling from someone who pressures them to adopt a straight or gay identity instead of a bisexual one. In the same study mentioned above, bisexual women survivors were the most likely to speak to a psychologist, psychiatrist, or mental health professional, but, again, the least likely to report these services as helpful (source).

Bisexual women have the highest rates of depression and PTSD post-rape

(source)

Bisexual women have higher rates of mental illness to begin with. 45.4% of bisexual women have considered or attempted suicide. This compares to 34.8% for bisexual men, 29.5% for lesbian women, 25.2% for gay men, 9.6% for straight women, and 7.4% for straight men (source). Bisexual people report higher rates of anxiety, depression, suicidality, and negative affect compared to their gay and heterosexual counterparts (source).

Bi women survivors are more likely to have experiences that increase the likelihood of depression. Depression after sexual violence is often related to a lack of support, lack of access to recovery resources, feelings of isolation, and experiences of victim blaming - areas in which bisexual women are much worse off.

Similarly, bi women survivors are more likely to have experiences that lead to PTSD. PTSD after sexual violence can be related to the traumatic nature of the sexual violence itself or to retraumatizing experiences in the aftermath, and bisexual women survivors experience unique and frequent retraumatization. For example, bisexual women frequently encounter degrading and sexually objectifying language about themselves from society at large as well as from the LGBT community - bi women are described as “slutty,” “dirty,” “sexually available to men,” “cocksuckers,” “dick-worshippers,” “bihets,” and so on. Such language is sexually objectifying and misogynistic towards all bisexual women, and very triggering to those of us who have been assaulted or raped by cis men. Experiencing frequent sexual harassment like unwanted sexual attention and threesome proposals is also retraumatizing. Bisexual women also report higher rates of revictimization, which is extremely retraumatizing and associated with higher chances of developing PTSD.

The inaccessibility of mental health resources for bi women survivors makes it difficult for us to cope with and recover from mental illness.

Other reasons

Bisexual people are more likely to be disabled, transgender and people of color, meaning that disabled bisexual women, trans bisexual women, and bisexual women of color are dealing with ableism, transmisogyny, and/or racism on top of biphobia, misogyny, and rape culture. This significantly increases their chances of facing sexual violence and intimate partner violence. If they do, they are even more likely to experience depression, PTSD, and low social support. It is also important when analyzing the above statistics to keep in mind that white, cisgender, and abled bisexual women have lower chances of these negative experiences.

Bi women survivors who didn’t figure out their bisexual identity until after their trauma, or who were closeted to their abusers and rapists, are still impacted by all of this. Marginalization, even when not obvious or announced, still makes people more vulnerable to abuse and violence. Issues like low social support, inaccessible recovery resources, and higher rates of mental illness are problems for these bi women survivors as well.

Since this issue is largely invisible and misunderstood, there are no known sexual violence prevention efforts specific to bisexual women.

Resources

Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution by Shiri Eisner

Shiri Eisner’s interview with the Bi Women Support Network

Healing from Rape as a Bisexual Woman

How to Find a Bi Competent Therapist

More statistics

[durnedscribblingwoman]

Important.

[bonitaapplebelle-deactivated201]

Where did I ever comment on her queerness or illness?

[beachdeath]

you didn’t. and that’s part of the problem i had with your original post. like. i understand and respect your frustration with skinny white women dominating the media landscape and being held up as this exclusionary, racist pinnacle of beauty. and i’m asking you to understand and respect my frustration with queer girls constantly being denied any kind of positive representation or role models in popular media. when i was growing up, a dfab teenager attracted to girls and deeply, deeply in the closet, i did not have anybody to look up to. the only popular out celebrity of my high school years was lindsay lohan, whose relationship was a constant subject of really disrespectful and homophobic tabloid coverage. frankly, as a kid struggling with self-harm and suicide attempts, i would have benefited so, so much from reading an interview with a well-known celebrity in vogue, and hearing her talk about how she struggled with the same things and moved past it and fell in love and managed to be happier than ever.

so that’s why your post struck a nerve with me. like… to ignore the substantial impact she’s had on young queer girls who are in really, really tough spots and really, really need this kind of big sister figure, all for the purpose of a couple of snarky lines about how she’s ugly and unremarkable? she’s not a commonplace kind of public figure. it’s not like there are dozens of young queer women getting this kind of recognition in big media markets. her visibility is important. her existence in an overwhelmingly homophobic media landscape is important. if i’m defensive about this, it’s only because i would have killed to have just one happy, well-adjusted queer girl role model growing up.

[hechodeoro-deactivated20180924]

again she’s representation for u not us she’s not doing anything for queer n mentally ill women of color accept that we have different realities n she does not represent to us, what she represents to u

[beachdeath]

yes. absolutely. unequivocally. i have absolutely no doubt that cara delevingne got to be where she is today because she’s descended from wealthy white british nobility and she had an immense amount of personal and cultural advantages to launch her career. i understand that, by virtue of her whiteness, she was able to walk to places black models and actresses have to fly to, places that exclude queer and mentally ill women of colour to an even greater extent. i understand that she is not a representational panacea.

[philo-mythus-deactivated2016110]

there IS NO REPRESENTATIONAL PANACEA.

this is what people don’t get. 

it reminds me of that one drawing here on tumblr some years back, where an artist got frustrated after somebody commented that the characters in a drawing weren’t diverse enough. The artist sallied back with a (very crudely drawn) natural-haired overweight WOC amputee with a button eye and a peg leg wearing one of the queer flags. or something like that.

if you’re looking for inspiration / representation from somebody that matches every single one of your identifiers, you’re playing with a mighty narrow field of people. (and, please, point me toward all of the other disabled hoh fat white aro/ace cis men that suffer from MDD, BED, GAD, and the remnants of childhood abuse.)

find inspiration where you can. 

people can be good and inspirational without harping on every social justice issue known to mankind. some people use their platform to talk about social issues, others use theirs to create art, and leave the social shit in their private lives, where, I daresay, it belongs. 

[geekandmisandry]

An anti feminist walks into a movie made by a feminist and kills two women. So why don’t people stop pretending they don’t understand why feminists are so threatened by anti feminists. Stop comparing misandry jokes and male tears mugs to the actual violence that men are willing to inflict on feminists for existing and having an opinion. Anti feminist feelings over imaginary slights does not have the same impact as the hatred of women and the dismissal of our rights.

[bungrrrl-deactivated20151020]

I FUCKING HATE SEEING THIS SHIT

[the-real-f-word-feminism]

[feminspire]

YES!

[stickthinmodels-deactivated2016]

IMPORTANT

[switch-up-snowfox]

the second one? i can buy that somewhat. the first one? breasts are sexual organs.

[flying-prussian-pugs-is-gone]

I SWEAR TO FUCK. NO. NO THEY ARE NOT. BREASTS ARE MEANT TO FEED BABIES. BREASTS ARE NOT MEANT FOR SEXUAL FUCKING PLEASURE. BREASTS SOLE EVOLUTIONARY PURPOSE ARE TO FEED THE YOUNG, NOT TO HUMOUR MEN IN BED.

[queeringfeministreality]

^^^^^^^^^ yesssss

[someofthisrumham]

when did this breasts are sexual organs rumor begin and where and why

[katvondick]

Playboy magazine

[rainnecassidy]

BREASTS

ARE

NOT

SEXUAL

ORGANS

[durnedscribblingwoman]

They are literally a secondary sex characteristic. Like a guy’s Adam’s Apple or beard, ok? A sex *characteristic*. Not sexual organs. Not in any way shape or form. BREASTS are NOT GENITALS. You know how I know that? Because for  human beings, genitals are situated between the legs. That’s it. That is all. One set is all you get. That’s biology. Yeah, breasts can be an errogenous zone, but so can your fingers, your neck, or your knee. That doesn’t make my knee a sexual organ, does it? Freaking out about the sight of a woman’s nipples is literally like if women started freaking out and getting outraged that men dared to bare their sexy sexy forbidden shameful Adam’s Apple. Cover that up, you slut! How dare you get that out when I’m trying to eat! There are children here! COVER YOUR MAN BUMPS! YOU WILL DRIVE THE WOMENFOLK INSANE WITH LUST!

[magentagram-blog]

I like how men tell us that periods are somehow simultaneously “not that bad” and also bad enough that we shouldn’t be allowed to hold positions of power.

[durnedscribblingwoman]

And by ‘like’, I think you mean ‘hate with all the furious seething lava flows of Hell’.

[brainspacevsmeatspace]

I just wanna talk for a minute about this shot. This right here is a triumph of writing, directing, editing, acting, and everything in between. All of it comes together, but the performance is the glue of it. Sebastian Stan sells this look so well, and it tells you everything without a single word uttered. Lesser filmmakers would have stopped the scene dead here to give us a series of flashbacks to spell out what’s going on in the mind of James Buchanan Barnes as his memories come back in a flood of pain and grief and loss. Instead, they just let the performance speak for itself, because the actor fucking crushes it here. I am a huge, HUGE fan of scenes where the filmmakers don’t spell it out in some flashback montage or exposition, and just rely on the film storytelling adage, “show, don’t tell” by letting an actor act. It’s such a perfect moment, the climax of the Steve and Bucky arc for this film, in a movie full of great choices, resulting in a direct assault on the feels. Fuck, I love this scene. fuck-me-barnes

[fuck-me-barnes]

like, I saw the tears in his eyes the first time in the theatre and I just lost it. 15 months later: still not over it.

[durnedscribblingwoman]

The Entire Captain American Fandom: STILL NOT OVER IT.