Gross @dustycarlile - Tumblr Blog

I've seen your bf's nudes

wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.

murdershegoat

i’d like to draw everyone’s attention to this portrait of a dog that’s in bella swans bedroom

kvitoya-deactivated20210415

i’d like to remind everyone that this dog portrait also appears in the music video for chandelier

twilightisgaynow

mjalti

bunjywunjy

oh it totally does, but you can’t hear it because space is a vacuum and sound can’t travel through a vacuum!

and that’s a good thing,

because the roar of the sun would clock in at around 120db heard from earth, about the equivalent to having a train’s horn go off three feet from your face.

constantly. all the time, even at NIGHT. there would be no escape.

zeyrablue

this is simply terrifying. how do you erase knowledge please ?

kedreeva

NASA actually recorded the sun, if you want to hear it:

And they recorded the planets too:

gardeninthevoid

so, the sun and the earth sound about how i would’ve expected, and a lot of other planets just make strong wind sounds which is perfectly reasonable but venus sounds like pure dread?!?! WHY IS SATURN SCREAMING?!? pluto isn’t bad and is actually kinda nice but it’s very strange to me too like Why Does It Do That. jupiter is super chill 10/10. pluto and jupiter need to collab i would buy that album

elucubrare

oh, fuck, guys, you know what this means? it means the ancient world was right about the music of the spheres.

fullymechanized-consoomer

Sun

Mercury

Venus

Earth

Mars

Jupiter

Saturn

Uranus

Neptune

Pluto

warriorsofficial

i can hear these photos and i don’t like it

timsutton

just found out there’s a fetish thing called fin-dom where rich people get off on sending vast amounts of money to people who verbally abuse them and hey just sayin if you’re into that hmu, i got a paypal and i’m mean

fatphrodite

marzipanandminutiae

reading letters from 1818 is wild

“it’s that time of the year when I get colds for no apparent reason again” have some Clairitin hon

marzipanandminutiae

But also we’re not becoming allergic to everything nowadays like certain white moms fear. Allergies have always existed. They were just talked about differently

Like “oh clams always ~turn my stomach~”. Or “what a pity he was taken from us at age 5”

rosslynpaladin

“Well we didn’t have all this fancy chronic illness stuff in the Olden Days, what did people do then??”

They died, Ashleigh.

explorerrowan

This is a picture tracking bullet holes on Allied planes that encountered Nazi anti-aircraft fire in WW2.

At first, the military wanted to reinforce those areas, because obviously that’s where the ground crews observed the most damage on returning planes. Until Hungarian-born Jewish mathematician Abraham Wald pointed out that this was the damage on the planes that made it home, and the Allies should armor the areas where there are no dots at all, because those are the places where the planes won’t survive when hit. This phenomenon is called survivorship bias, a logic error where you focus on things that survived when you should really be looking at things that didn’t.

We have higher rates of mental illness now? Maybe that’s because we’ve stopped killing people for being “possessed” or “witches.” Higher rate of allergies? Anaphylaxis kills, and does so really fast if you don’t know what’s happening. Higher claims of rape? Maybe victims are less afraid of coming forward. These problems were all happening before, but now we’ve reinforced the medical and social structures needed to help these people survive. And we still have a long way to go.

the-memedaddy

meirl

otterlyrambling

I mean.

Cartoon design is based off of 70s/80s fashion

So, it’s not wrong.

It’s rather likely

spiffylindster

I’d like to add dickey collars for consideration.

I can picture him having an entire drawer devoted to an assortment of these, right next to his drawer full of ascots.

everystarstorm

May I present this image from Legend of the Vampire?

synille

what is the FUCKING truth

siryouarebeingmocked

He has multiple outfits?

desperatelyseekingdennis

So suddenly Fred is some millionaire with more than one set of clothes? Please.

spider-hands-mannos-deactivated

No, that’s canon. The entire gang comes from wealth. Shaggy actually inherited a great deal of money and property from his uncle.

victorianho

scooby doo bourgeoise propaganda confirmed

butchfalin

every time i see "why are you buying clothes at the soup store" i have to laugh because there's a mall near my grandparents' house and one of the stores in it is called soup store and you'll never guess what they sell

storylessposts

Op this is amazing but I’m required by law to say

FUCK YOU

hydro-homies

Gymbro breakup

daco-broman

this is really tragic

muppethole-deactivated20240312

Why’d they de-sexy-code King Neptune for the SpongeBob movie?

muppethole-deactivated20240312

show me a bigger downgrade

rosewater1997

Everyday is like. Endure Emotions and Complete Tasks. Can I die

rheaseahorn

bitchvirgo

bekonuizado

I miss this AU ;-;

midsommars-deactivated20201109

“literally how can you hate this masterpiece”

geekbeyond

shencomix

thebestoftumbling

keysmash-warrior-deactivated202

NooOOO

samojon

celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725

altamont498

Those appear to be bird tracks rather than bunny tracks! Ergo, it was a bird hopping and then taking off, not a bunny getting taken away!

danceintheskies

oh my god thank you phoenix wright

dinnermess-deactivated20200529

yeah those aren’t bunny tracks.

saffarren

Forgive my sceptism, but why would a bird with a supposedly wide wingspan hop around in the snow in the first place when tree branches would suffice in the beginning?