I Tried AA Once But They Killed My Buzz

frédérick. french-irish-american. alcoholic. enjoys old school rock. teacher. i also enjoy long walks on the beach and sunsets and alcohol of all kinds. (:/) tends to interchange between english and français.

[duvindegaillac]

HC: 16/?

Frederick tends to write drunk as fuck poetry--or as creatively as he could while intoxicated--on the nights when he just feels like it. They're always written on the back of old receipts and opened mail, titled to and addressed to "Glory", "She", "Her", and the one time, "Chien". They either find themselves swept up in the trashcan in the evenings when he cleans up, crumbled and hidden in the shadows and crevices of tight spaces that he forgets to vacuum, or scattered amongst his things, placed there because he's still trying to figure out the drunk handwriting or because he doesn't want to let go words from when he's free and uninhibited from soberity.

[duvindegaillac]

Para: The Janitor's Closet || Open

He just walks around endlessly, ignoring whatever students that he passes by as he's trying to just get away from everything. On impulse, he just grabs for a door, and it happens to have no one inside. Its unlocked seeing as the school has been trying to fix all of the broken locks that they student break. A broomstick on the side falls to the ground as he walks past it, closing the door behind it and he just squats down, hands trembling and reaching for his box of smokes and it just falls from his fingertips.

Frederick, breathing harder and harder, just shakily picks up one blindly, and puts it in his mouth, lays back to the wall and looks up to the ceiling. His white dress shirt is gonna get stained, and it was already a sloppy look since he forgot to button up all the way to his neck. Its dark in the room, and all that he can feel is numbness and the heavy heaving that his lungs try to push, the beating of his heart in his ears and the sweat that is on his neck while the cool wall presses against it. 

".. Fuck." A whisper, and unheard echo that follows it is that he's gonna have to confront her again. For now, he just wants to forget. Forget everything that is the world and his issues, and to just sit there, pitiful and alone in the darkness of a goddamn fucking janitor's closet. He really wants another drink but can't find it in himself to be able to move his legs that are just laying there bent and useless. "Un, deux, trois, quatre.."

[oi-space-man]

[duvindegaillac]

oi-space-man:

Starter For 10 (2006)

He’d have been so proud of you.

[abeautifulworldwithuglypeople]

[duvindegaillac]

.

[gifthescreen]

[duvindegaillac]

.

[lostlittlelions]

Yeah okay, Freddy. 

Fine. Here. *pours him some from the bottle* If we can agree on this, then at least we’ll be able to agree on one thing. 

[duvindegaillac]

.

maybe we might.

.

this is fine scotch and all, but i think that i'd still rather prefer alternatives. scotch has always been rather leathery to me. gin is a bit nicer.

[lostlittlelions]

You cant really redeem yourself  by drinking scotch instead. Too many years and too many issues you’d have to redeem yourself for. Though i guess that might fix one of them.

[duvindegaillac]

maybe thats just what i was going for.  you mind explaining to me why scotch is so great while we have some?

[lostlittlelions]

I’ll try not to take that personally. You really do never know what youre talking about, huh?

[duvindegaillac]

i can just feel the judgement rolling in. it depends on, whatever, really.

get me some damn good scotch and maybe I'll consider vouching for it instead.

[lostlittlelions]

Whatever Freddy, Ill try to ignore that wrong statement. *rolls her eyes*

[duvindegaillac]

nothing against scotch, i just prefer vodka or brandy. kicks better.

[lostlittlelions]

its scary how much you dont know what you’re talking about. I think we need to get you a scotch and fast

[duvindegaillac]

not objecting. alcohol is alcohol. though my point stands. 

[duvindegaillac]

(:/)

[notyourdarlingxstella]

I wouldn’t despise you so much if you weren’t such an irresponsible bastard seventeen years ago. 

But just because you amounted to nothing after High School does not mean that these children will. 

[duvindegaillac]

Sure! Sure. I'm glad to know that you know that I'm absolutely a waste of space, a nothing, just some guy who's being paid with minimum wage as a teacher in a district like this because I'm obviously supposed to take this sort of shit from you. Those poor kids! How dare they be forced to take into my presence: some sad, old drunk who unfortunately has gall to know French that he'd somehow qualified to teach with a degree and everything!

I'm so sorry that I'm a nothing now! Thank you, Miss Gloria Faye, that you should have so must courtesy to enlighten me what a sack of shit that I am to you. What a fucking bastard that I am to have done something that a teenage boy did seventeen years ago! Yes! It all makes sense now! That you, Miss Gloria Faye, should ever have the slightest fucking idea as to what the sum of my parts equate to: nothing. 

Thank you! I really needed that!

[duvindegaillac]

(:/)

[notyourdarlingxstella]

Oh how immature you’re being, still. Perhaps this is why I try to refrain my self from speaking to you unless necessary. 

I’m not saying it would necessarily improve their work but it will probably make them want to at least try to do well. If a student enjoys the class the more they will be willing to try and do better. 

How are you so sure that the students will continue their study of french in college? How will french benefit ninety-percent of these students in their future? It’s better now to “inspire” the students now so they’ll enjoy and want to continue the study after high school. Maybe you should try it, and not come to school and class minutes late and hungover, or drunk.

[duvindegaillac]

sorry, I was minding my own business until you spoke to me. it must be such an inconvenience to you. let me apologize.

the beautiful thing about not knowing is that its up to them to decide whether or not they want to study the subject. its not my job to inspire them: thats the shit they feed you at those teacher conventions. my job is to educate so that they can later forget about it. language isn't something you usually get passionate about, not in cleaveland. and you're right, language isn't something that students usually take interest in anyway. business, accounting, law school, med school, whatever they want to do: they can go for it if they really wanted to.

public schools aren't usually about college prep no matter how they can preach or copy and paste, or, hell, sing about. especially not in a school district like this. 

education can be the path for some, and if they really wanted to, they can certainly try. but sometimes its not always the path for one, no matter how hard you try to direct them to it.

sometimes, i really must wonder why you even bother talking to me if you despise me so much. no need to act like adults here when its obvious that adults can be children too. 

if you'll excuse me now, miss faye, i need to take a step outside. the tension in this lounge is preventing me from grading papers.

[lostlittlelions]

Scotch…Oh how I love thee

[duvindegaillac]

scotch is great and all, but brandy is where its at.

[duvindegaillac]

(:/)

[notyourdarlingxstella]

Who says that’s a smack on the cheek? It was a simple statement Mr. Tigelaar.

Perhaps, perhaps not. 

Maybe if you weren’t drinking as much as you do, and actually took an interest in your students and what you’re teaching them then maybe they’ll get everything better, therefor perform better on their work. That is my opinion.

[duvindegaillac]

you wound me, truly you do. my poor heart. boo hoo i'm ready to cry now. 

but nevertheless to say, if i were to take this apparent idea of enthusiasm that you seem to think would improve their work, would it really teach them how to properly conjugate courir and vouloir and how to properly use the subject direct-object and indirect object placement whether im apathetic or not?

perhaps, perhaps not.

you can inspire students, but not with subjects like high school français, madam. that's for college.

[duvindegaillac]

(:/)

[notyourdarlingxstella]

Perhaps it isn’t them that are having the issue’s with the essays. Maybe they simply do not understand their material well enough.

[duvindegaillac]

always a smack to the cheek when hiding it behind a sweet word, faye.

i'd suppose that the past two weeks of covering extra review on the sports vocab and common verbs conjunctions associated with actions probably wasn't enough then. 

and your insight on this?

[duvindegaillac]

(:/)

the ratio of failing test grades to good test grades is pretty bad this term

dunno what my french 3 class has been trying to accomplish with these essays

looks like im drinking tonight

[duvindegaillac]

HC: 15/?

Feeling crippled and at a loss, he'll slowly make his way back to a more stable life for a few years: learning braille and moving between seeing eye dogs until he can find a hypoallergenic breed that won't bring him to rashes and sneezing fits. He tries to work away the debts of hospital bills and surgeries, and struggles often for a steady job.

He will, in the meantime, been speaking as a community center to educate the dangers of smoking and drinking,  as well how its like to be a blinded person. A friend would recommend that he become a speaker, and he'll temporarily make money off of that before the organization no longer requires his services. Frederick would thirst for alcohol every now and then to stop the stress from happening, but would dare not to touch the drink ever again when he looks at the current situation again.