Lesson plans? What lesson plans?

28. Female. Primary school teacher. Almost certainly supposed to be doing something more productive than playing with Tumblr.

[justwalkthroughme]

I don't like these "if I can wear a bra you can wear a mask" or "you know what's really uncomfortable? A bra but I wear one in public for others not me" arguments because look man.... I don't want to wear a bra, I think they're stupid

[dwendog]

Honestly, if your bra’s actually uncomfortable, go get fitted, because you’re clearly not wearing the right size. Like, I get it. I also CBF with a bra if I’m not leaving the house, but properly fitted bras are actually no worse than any other item of clothing which fits correctly. It’s a poor analogy. I realise this isn’t the point, but this is the part that bugs me every time I see these arguments.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[dwendog]

I was tagged by @confused-teacher in a This or That thingy.

wind or rain // closed curtains or open window // bumblebees or butterflies // banana bread or cheesecake // tulips or roses // lemon & honey or apple & cinnamon // hillside cottage or city apartment // warm or cool // book or video game // organized bullet journal or cluttered sketchbook // smoothie or milkshake // sunshine or moonlight // relaxing or productivity // holding hands or back hugs // sunset at the beach or stargazing in a field // poetry or prose // candle or diffuser // longing for the past or longing for the future neither? This is a very weird question // vocals or instrumentals // snowy mountain or rolling green hills 

[neil-gaiman]

Hello! This is a somewhat silly question, but: Who do you think would win in a fight, Neil Gaiman from the Simpsons, or Neil Gaiman from Arthur?

Probably the Neil Gaiman from The Simpsons. He has no conscience, after all, and plans many steps ahead. The Neil Gaiman from Arthur is basically just me, so would try and avoid a fight because people might get hurt, and both of the people are him.

[neil-gaiman]

versus

[geekandmisandry]

@rippledragon linked this to me and a good time is being had.

[petermorwood]

Sunday School (snore) would have been a lot more fun like this...

[dduane]

Yeah, how can I not reblog this, Himself Upstairs is snickering too hard...

[dwendog]

@hwenfayre relevant to your interests.

[favour-andgrace]

'I have a degree in words and I cbf using them' - me, literature grad & English teacher

[dwendog]

"I know how words work. That doesn’t mean I can use them. Words are HARD” - me, a linguistics grad & primary school teacher.

[iamtheansweringmachine-deactiva]

Hannah Gadsby's "Douglas"

[whitepeopletwitter]

[enfantedeluna-deactivated202006]

[dwendog]

Mama is apparently qualified to do exorcisms, and had never shared this with me until tonight, and I am appalled. I mean, 75% of my appalledness is about the fact that it had never come up before tonight, but there’s also a part of me that can’t believe she wouldn’t feel the need to tell me until it actually came up in conversation. Like, random details about preg testing cows are interesting enough to bring up with limited to not context, but the fact that you can technically banish demons ISN’T? I thought I knew you, mother.

[cipheramnesia]

Was The Count on Sesame Street a normal human who was bitten by a vampire muppet and turned into a muppet vampire or a muppet who became a vampire muppet after getting bitten by a vampire muppet or a muppet bitten by a regular vampire?

Can he turn other people into muppet vampires? If he bites a human could they become a muppet vampire or regular vampire or can he only bit muppets?

[nudityandnerdery]

One, ah-ah-hah! Two! Ah-ah-hah! Three! Three valid questions about the Count's vampiric nature!

[nudityandnerdery]

Wait, I'm learning some confusing things about the Count.

[dwendog]

There are literally jokes in Sesame Street about the fact that he doesn’t show up in mirrors. He is CLEARLY a vampire of some kind.

[dwendog]

Today appears to be one giant game of “Which small tasks can I justify doing before starting to mark the narratives the smalls submitted yesterday which I have briefly looked at, and am now aware that they are varying degrees of disaster, so I don’t wanna?” So far, I have caught up on TV I missed during the week and done dishes. I am about to have a shower and get dressed and then walk the dog, but I fear I may not make it until D&D at 7 before I run out of things I can justify, and I will actually have to do my marking. Pls halp.

[fanonical]

it must be really weird for anyone who was taught by dumbledore and mcgonagall and the rest to become teachers and have to, like, treat them as colleagues

like, snape and lupin have one (1) thing in common and it’s a pathological inability to call dumbledore by his first name

[bloodyhellharry]

Correct me if i’m wrong, but wasn’t McGonagall more or less in the same year as Tom Riddle?

Does that mean that Dumbledore was also her teacher?

[frederichthedragon]

Minerva McGonagall has called him Albus since she was eleven because she is a queen who bows to no one

[thatgirlonstage]

The image of an 11yo Minerva McGonagall looking her new professor dead in the eye and saying “Will there be homework tonight, Albus?” is too powerful for words

[pandabully]

@shanastoryteller

[kyraneko]

I can just see it going down something like this:

Shiny new transfiguration professor Albus Dumbledore: “Now you won’t be able to turn your matchstick into a needle on the first try, of course, but—”

Tiny eleven-year-old BAMF Minerva McGonagall with a Scottish accent thicker than pea soup: “Ayy! Ye cannae know that!”

Albus Dumbledore, whose experience with the results of being patronizing to small badass children is insufficient to warn him not to: “Oh, absolutely, young lady, you might surprise us. Or any of your classmates might, it’s true.”

Tiny smoldering barrel of magical talent with “TNT” painted on the side Minerva McGonagall: “What’ll ye give us if we do surprise ye?”

Brightly-colored balloon of good-natured obliviousness Albus Dumbledore: “Why, my dear Miss McGonagall, if you can give me a needle on the first try, I shall allow you to call me by my first name.”

It’s a very fine needle, and she calls him Albus for the rest of her life.

[kingscrown666]

Have I reblogged this before? Yes. Yes, I have. Will I be reblogging this again? Also yes

[dogmatix]

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

[dwendog]

When I was doing drama at high school, we were taught that the first rule of improv is “Yes, and…” but right now, I’m watching Middleditch and Schwartz, and they seem to be working on the principle that the first rule of improv is “Wait, fucking WHAT?” and I think that makes a far better experience for everyone.

[dwendog]

The second rule appears to be “Hey, dude, I bet you can’t do THIS without laughing”

[dwendog]

When I was doing drama at high school, we were taught that the first rule of improv is “Yes, and...” but right now, I’m watching Middleditch and Schwartz, and they seem to be working on the principle that the first rule of improv is “Wait, fucking WHAT?” and I think that makes a far better experience for everyone.

[thelastmemeera]

Okay internet, let’s play a game:

try to guess what this video is about before the end.

[dudeinthestacks]

major curve ahead

[whitepeopletwitter]

[bibberly]

I don’t usually disagree with @dog_feelings, but we all know the appropriate response when a furry friend stretches is, “Ooh, stretchy stretchy!”

[dwendog]

Someone made this comment on instagram and was told this is also an equally valid and acceptable response.

In our house, it’s usually “Oooh, good stretchum”