Pedestrian Parallax

This is my main account (since 2010). My alt is rockwithbibberly.

[depsidase]

[beardedmrbean]

Thank you google, very informative

[teaboot]

How people get nicknames:

Recipient of a third-degree burn in front of witnesses. IE, "I won't take that shit from a man dressed like a ghostbuster"= "Gostbuster" or "Buster"

A distinctive personal feature or quirk. IE, "Have you noticed how that new guy is always eating bell peppers?" = "Peppers", or "That chick has a massive forehead" = "Forehead".

An embarrassing thing you said or did. IE, "Did you seriously call Dale "Dad"?" = "Junior", "Baby boy", "Sport"

A game of name-mutation telephone. IE, "Donny Clyde" = "Bonnie 'n' Clyde" = "Bonnie" = "Bon-bon".

Irony. IE, calling a tall person "short stack" or a particularly dour person "sunshine".

A 'wrong place wrong time' one-off incident. IE, "He spilled oil on his pants and had to borrow a pair that were way too big and Jim saw him with the waistband pulled up to his nipples and called him 'Parachute'"

A batman-style origin story but not in a cool way: "One time she hit a deer with the company car and when she called the boss to tell her she was crying so hard we thought she was dying" = "Bambi"

The incredibly rare 'admiration' nickname, bourne only once a millennia under the light of the blood moon: "We saw him lift a truck once so now we call him 'iron man'"

+ How Nicknames Stick:

Your fate is determined by The Counsel

You hate it

It's accurate

[plaguedocboi]

When I was in high school we (as in, my class collectively) had a habit of giving people nicknames that were just other completely normal names.

For instance, there was a girl named Ashley who we all called Kimberly. There was a kid named Daniel who we called Paul. There was Joel. I can’t even remember what his real name was at this point because he was just Joel to me.

I don’t know why we did this.

[bibberly]

There's that thing when you take a foreign language class and your teacher wants you to use the version of your name that is from that culture. If your name doesn't translate to that language / culture, then you have to pick something else, or sometimes the teacher will pick for you. That will absolutely become your nickname. Just ask Guy or Yves from my 10th-grade French class. (Or the people who spelled my name with the French pronunciation when they were signing my yearbook throughout high school.)

[ozempicofficial]

[bedupolker]

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

I like when someone invents a new and disturbing way to Decorate Wrong

[jungwildeandfree]

and while we’re at it, fuck this idea that ONE ACCOUNT has to belong uniquely to ONE PERSON. This is the same thing these silicon valley fucks want; their vision of the future where everyone has a unique biometric ID code implanted in their body is the ultimate extension of Netflix’s “no password sharing” policy. You want to use your friend’s car? Sorry, you can’t, you need to be an authorized user. Your mother wants to let you look something up on her OED account? Too bad! That’s only for her! The concept of perfect market efficiency gives them greedy little money bag eyes.

If I pay money to have a newspaper sent to my house, they don’t charge me extra when I show it to my dad. This password sharing thing isn’t just a Netflix problem; don’t be surprised if it shows up elsewhere in other forms. Stamp this idea out now or we’ll be stuck with it.

[jungwildeandfree]

This is by far the most popular post I have and I have to say: good, I’m right. Password sharing and ID verification are going to kill the internet. not oooh in 50 years. in like 5 more.

[bibberly]

Back in 2000, I wrote a paper for a college class about the downside of buying music online: you can't resell it. If you bought a CD that you didn't like, you could take it to a used music store for store credit or cash. Legally, you are not allowed to keep a copy of it that you made - for example, if you transferred it to cassette to play in your car that didn't have a CD player, that's legal while you own the CD but must be destroyed / taped over when you relinquish the disc. Digital music, I argued, was not a good purchase because if I decided later that I don't like it, or just needed some extra cash as a college student, I didn't have the same rights as I did with my CDs.

Of course, then Napster exploded, and my ideas instantly became quaint and laughably old-fashioned. But we have come back around to this concept that we pay for things we can't sell when we're done with them or even share with our loved ones.

[wajb]

ragebaiting lemonade stand owner with one simple order

[bibberly]

seeing this post the day after my students started requesting I play this song in class again

they were so poorly behaved yesterday that I gave in if they would just do work quietly for a little while

it only lasted a few minutes (the song and their phase of working quietly)

[byjove]

going to do a bit of light reading before bed

[notahorseindisguise]

knowing when to hold em and when to fold em is also important for origami

[swarnpert]

[lakevida]

on it boss

[zanmor]

step 1: mitosis

[egax]

I have been saving this since last year. Happy Earth Day everyone.

[saywhat-politics]

The top 1% evades $163 billion in taxes each year.

The 10 wealthiest Republicans in Congress have a combined net worth of almost $1 billion.

Republicans want to defund the already underfunded IRS.

These 3 things are not unrelated.

[raccoonspooky]

Fuck a personality test. Which label sticker r u?

[panelshowsource]

[edgebug]

happy 20 year anniversary of Neil banging out the tunes!

though every rat is special, it's a wonderful and unusual thing for their accomplishments to be remembered and cherished by so many people so many years later. we're all so fortunate to know about the rat who banged out the tunes!

thank you to all the people who sent me reference photos of their beloved rats for this piece!!! credits under the cut!

@joe-spookyy Ben and Socrates

@gooseontheinternet Chamomile and Beefy

@runawayy-rat Bartholomäus and Emo

@theunholystromboli Macrogryphosaurus, Xenoceratops, and Graciliraptor

@techlecticwtch Solas and Dorian

@merlyn-bane Roslyn and Rizzoli

@logictoinsanity Luna and Buttercup

@hagsthehag Orphie, Psyche, Calypso, Ariadne, and Eury

my sweet ladies Bonnie, Mira, An, and Tula

and of course, the irreplaceable

Neil,

who banged out the tunes

[lotostar]

The tunes do be banging when Neil is around