trust that garlic and i are well acquainted
I fucked up by filling a powdered garlic canister full of salt and forgot to take off the label.
One OHSA violation later and I threw away my next attempt at using a ton of garlic powder.
Claire Keane
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Janaina Medeiros
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
KIROKAZE
YOU ARE THE REASON
sheepfilms
art blog(derogatory)

No title available
we're not kids anymore.
Three Goblin Art
No title available

izzy's playlists!
tumblr dot com

No title available
Cosimo Galluzzi
Cosmic Funnies
styofa doing anything

oozey mess

pixel skylines
seen from Germany
seen from France

seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from Ukraine

seen from Türkiye

seen from Netherlands

seen from Malaysia
seen from Hungary
seen from Russia
seen from Venezuela

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Venezuela
seen from United States
seen from Venezuela
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@dwkara
trust that garlic and i are well acquainted
I fucked up by filling a powdered garlic canister full of salt and forgot to take off the label.
One OHSA violation later and I threw away my next attempt at using a ton of garlic powder.
reblogs were off
t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it
"We all have our loops. Our habits."
"Behaviours that keep us walking in circles."
"Reaching for the same solutions over and over again."
"Thinking each time will take you somewhere new..."
"...but they don't."
"And still, it's the neural pathway of least resistance."
"A path you made."
"It's the one that kept you safe when you were a child."
"You learned to push people away before they could hurt you."
"And now, as an adult..."
"...you're still stuck right where you started."
"Alone."
I need to be vulnerable for a second.
My parents divorced when I was 4.
My father most certainly is an undiagnosed autistic (I was diagnosed in my 30's) who's mother died when he was young.
I was a "Mama's boy". I did everything to make her happy. But there was a point where she started having different reactions to my outbursts, that increased as I didn't understand social rules and was placed in advanced classes.
The biggest change was making a joke that apparently wasn't a joke in fourth grade but I had seen on Looney Toons.
I got suspended for a week. My dad left voice messages about how I scared his new wife (who was pregnant with my half sister I have only ever met twice, and didn't know existed until she was 7).
Both of my parents worked for my school district (at the high school).
May have been assaulted by a pedo that ended their life in their own car after getting caught by the FBI. I wouldn't know. I only remember half that mountain hike and I remember complaining I was tired on the way up and that butt hurt on the way down. But that memory was so far packed as "normal" because whatever it was, I couldn't be certain.
Pretty crazy start, right?
My mother and step father's family feel neurodivergent coded. I could be wrong. But their "social rules" didn't seem to reflect other families.
I was an only child. I was going into a teen boy. And my mother reacted like someone with untreated PTSD whenever I had outbursts and anxiety attacks.
She had dealt with them before. She knew that panic, that fear of losing control and bad consequences well. My father.
I could no longer be that Mama's boy.
She knew something was different. I dressed up in full feminine getup for two Halloweens in a row. I shaved. I did make up. Wore female costumes that were probably slutty. I wore thigh high socks. Alice in Wonderland.
As life moves forward, as most boys, there was a lot of masculine pressure. As an autistic that didn't present in the normal way, and more as how women present, I had already masked for a long time.
I knew if I ever tried to "be myself", I messed up and got shamed or in some sort of social trouble. So masks were the go to.
But as soon as I would let my guard down, I'd "be myself". And it was the definition of a record scratch moment every time.
I became fearful. I tried to people please and never so no so I would be wanted. I burned out of a half a dozen jobs after my fiance was knocked up by her ex. I cut that little girls umbilical cord and when I sent in a secret test, I drank two bottles of wine before opening it.
I should have a near adult daughter. What happened to the years.
I got married and it failed, both of us struggling to understand what to do with our life.
Me? I was promised college. Top 3% ACT in the country. I had worked to have honors. To make my parents proud.
They decided at the last moment not to pay for my college. Suddenly out and figuring out entry level jobs. Confused why I couldn't communicate with society. Correct peoples scientific inaccuracies makes you no friends.
I experimented with women's cloth and looks more. Tried college with loans and burned out because I had ballooned to three hundred pounds and was barely making it day by day with how many masks I had to manage, how many scripts that let me walk across social minefields just to make it to the end of the day without OCD grabbing ahold of something and strangling me with it.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Then I started a job at the post office and met two people who diverted the direction of my life.
I lost that job (they weren't following policy and I was working 70 hour weeks for two years straight) and by lost I walked out because I just couldn't.
I proceeded to be high for five years as Covid hit soon after. But I moved across the country. Selling my condo to try love again, and somehow. Against all odds, she takes my outbursts, my autistic ego in stride.
TADC feels like it's a midpoint in a lot of stories.
And I didn't realize my midpoint had, HAD, been that. Scared.
Even the slightest chance of conflict or upsetting someone or not fitting the status quo.
I'm two years on estrogen next month. I'm getting my first degree in less than six months with straight A's. I've been married for nearly four years, and I'm still best friends with those two people.
No matter how many times I pushed them away. They did not. Would not let go.
Thank you, Gooseworx.
Thank you, Amazing Digital Circus.
I never put my life in scope before. And honestly, I think I'm doing okay. To quell that hateful voice that I'm not doing good enough, because...golly. Look at it all.
You're finally you. 💜
This sans isn't round 1. This is him trying to "go back". This is one of many attempts.
Kris isn't on their first round either.
When sans talks during his boss fight in Undertale about readings being off the chart, that's as Deltarune. Not Undertale.
There’s always some take that blows up like “Sephiroth read a book and turned evil lmao what a loser” and I’m like yeah man. That’s how deep the writing is in FF7. The same devs who wrote Cloud to be a massively complex protagonist also decided their villain should be an egotistical one-dimensional crybaby who’s pissed that he actually wasn’t always better than everyone else. That’s what they wrote, man.
Poor man cracked at how much he had been deceived for so long, and then nearby Jenova saw the opening and thought "don't mind if I do".
That turn of events is when Jenova entered his body and Sephiroth took a back seat.
I know I've heard constantly they don't want a redemption arc. But since the OG, it's always been Jenova. The space Eldritch horror.
Fear and distrust personified.
The thing the brings out the worst in humanity. The cause of so many tragedies.
Fear.
Calling it now.
Rudy is knight.
Kris's soul is the armor
if we stay very still maybe they wont notice
My Chemical Romance is what they would call Breaking Bad if it were a yaoi manga
Mutuals can have my home address before discord can have my ID
sorry i barked when i saw your happy trail do you still want me