My Moon, My Shane

Full time lesbo part time fujo • Mid 20’s side blog ! main is @dykecrush 🫶

[fuckrozanov]

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

[anyataylorjoys]

☁️ no thoughts brain melted ☁️

[lapetitepedestre]

"Sorry..."

(Click for a better quality & reblogs appreciated)

[mutinsfromthemoon]

an idea for a college au where it’s shane’s freshman year and it’s the first time he’s drunk as hell and he’s trying to enter his room and his keys is not working at all and he’s mumbling and grumbling and trying to open the door and nothing is working and suddenly the door swings open and there’s a man that shane’s has never seen before and he looks mad “what the fuck are you doing in my door” he asks “your door? this is my room” shane’s says “no, this is my room” “no, it’s my room” shane’s replies slurring the words and then they go back and forth. the guys notice he’s drunk and kinda accepts he’s not going anywhere with this conversation so he just pulls shane inside, takes his shoes and jeans and put shane to sleep with him in his bed. next morning shane’s wakes up with the worst headache he ever felt in his entire life an arm draped across his stomach and panics looking at his side and seeing a literal angel laying besides him. he bolts from the bed finds his clothes and everything else and leaves the room. later he realizes he’s in a different floor. after that he just tries do pretend that this never happened. next class he gets there early, like always, and who shows up and sit right next to him? the guy from the other day “not very nice of you to ditch me like that after i took such good care of you, yes?” and shane’s face is bright red from embarrassment and mumble an apology but he wants nothing to do with the guy anymore but now he has an assignment with him and now they have to spend weeks together and there’s no way to run anymore. he’s stuck with ilya rozanov who seems to be enjoying every single minute of shane’s despair

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

personally i think shane is instigating sexting in any and all locations. i think he's in the cens locker room after practice texting ilya fuck baby you look so hot right now. need your cock so bad. he's at a shoot for some brand deal like can't stop thinking about your mouth and wanna ride your face tonight between takes. he's at the team dinner watching ilya wrapping his hands around a bottle and sending need your fingers. fuck. ilya of course loves this.

but if ilya so much as sends a looking sexy, hollander at the MLH awards shane is sending him death glares so intense and obvious that marly's asking uh oh, trouble in paradise rozy?

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

shane voice i'm not sexting i'm just being honest about what i'm feeling

[hr-rep]

I’m speaking my truth: every hollanov scene touches on humiliation kink because Shane finds it humiliating to have sex.

[themauvesoul]

hello can you please tell me about shane’s post-retirement evil podcast, if you feel so inclined

In my head his podcast would start off with good intentions, but he’s collected a LOT of dirt during his time as a professional hockey player, and he’s retired, so he has no real obligation to stay quiet anymore. Plus he’s got a lot to be mad about, and he’s at a time in his life where he feels safe enough to actually Be Mad. So it’s like. Episode one is normal boring hockey commentary, episode two is normal boring hockey commentary, episode three is normal until about halfway through where he’s talking about a guy he used to play against and he’s like oh yeah I always hated playing that guy. He never actually used my name, he’d just call me *[SLUR REDACTED] instead. One time he told me that they never should’ve let my grandparents out of the internment camps, and I was pissed, but also kind of impressed that a stupid-as-shit guy like that actually knew enough about history to say that. I guess racism will have you doing anything, including read. There is then a long awkward silence before the cohost goes ANYWAYS about that new power play lineup LA is running…..

Fourth episode him and his cohost are talking about coaches and coaching styles and Shane casually drops oh yeah everybody always knew to steer clear of that guy. He had a reputation. Cohost is like reputation for what? And Shane is like oh you know. If you stand too close he’ll grab your ass. Guys on his team really gotta watch the rookies because if they go into his office alone… cohost is like Jesus. And nobody came forward? Shane is like oh people tried, it just never went anywhere. Team management buried it.

Fifth episode they have to derail the hockey talk to address the latest Hazing In Canadian Juniors Teams Scandal, and Shane is like no yeah I absolutely believe those kids. When I was on juniors the nineteen year olds I was billeted with literally waterboarded me. Like, held me down with a tshirt over my head and poured whiskey on my face until I almost drowned. They could say they got their fingernails pulled out with pliers and I’d believe them.

Sixth episode Shane drops the pretense and the cohost and opens with. So here is a recording of Roger Crowell calling me a faggot to my face on zoom.

[themauvesoul]

Also Ilya’s interruptions are like. (very obviously yelling from a distance) SHANE YOU FORGOT THE TIME CROWELL PAID DALLAS KENT FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS TO BREAK MY LEG ON THE ICE. is he lying? who can say!

[firstprinced]

of course!

[firstprinced]

tags by prev @bleekay because exactly

#i just love the thought that when he said “i also like you”#he maybe expected shane to say “i like you too” #so when shane did not say that he immediately backtracked lmao #“i like you.... oh. but not like... LIKE you. you know. just like your mouth. maybe i dont like you at all even idk”

[keasusreevsus]

[firstprinced]

Heated Rivalry Chapter 03, Page 39

[pookieshane]

bisexual menace ilya rozanov (he looks so good here it's fucking crazy)

[clytemnestraaa]

final game before retirement ilya is like do not worry moy lyubovnik i have poisoned the gatorade. they shall pull our chariot in the underworld. and shane is like aww you think of everything.

[alonewildbird]

please don't ask me how long i spent making this 😭😭 also imagine the bulls are anya and chiron and that that's harris lying next to them thank you.

[ilya-rozanova]

HEATED RIVALRY | OLYMPIANS (1.02)

[parcai]

this pic lives rent free btw

[vesnuszki]

shane hollander bouncing on it in the passenger seat of ilya’s faggy orange lamborghini aventador hitting his head on the ceiling bump bump bump because it’s a really small fucking car send post

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

for the first three months that Ilya has snapchat he genuinely believes that the photo disappears forever for everyone until the next time he sees svetlana and she shows him the screenshot she took of something he posted and he has a flashback of everything he’s posted and then - and this is crucial - does not change his snap habits at all

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

snaps ilya posted to his story:

photo of him and marly in g-strings

multiple speedometer pictures, all while driving and all over the speed limit

club selfies with svetlana and like every fifth one you can see that they definitely just did key bumps

video of him downing a big mac in like 35 seconds while the raiders call him disgusting in the background

a million sweaty gym selfies

video of burning rozanov jerseys outside centre bell with the caption “thank you montreal for selling out my jersey 💯”

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

a video taken by cliff of ilya taking a fat rip off of a truly bulky vape rig, trying to say “cotton” before blowing it out and instead choking and coughing so hard he throws up

200+ selfies of him with the stanley cup in various states of drunkenness and undress

dick pic accidentally posted to his story. it is the only story of his he’s deleted. followed by a black screen that say “whoops 😜 no peaking 😈”

video of him and svetlana doing ossetra caviar bumps

selfie with his tongue out with the caption “don’t need a filter to have a long tongue 😏🐶👅” notibly followed by a video making all the raiders use the dog filter