Silco turns, pressing his face into Vanderās chest as a storm howls inside him. Vander strokes his back.
āYou can ask me to hold you, birdie,ā he murmurs. āI wonāt turn you away.ā
āItās too hard.ā Silcoās voice is choked.Ā
Vander hums and dips his fingers beneath Silcoās collar, massaging the back of his neck. Silco shudders, squeezing at his thick sides.
āI always want to hold you,ā Vander says, like a confession. āIs it alright when I reach out and touch you?āĀ
Silco nods against his chest.
āAnd youāll tell me if you want me to leave you alone,ā Vander prompts.
āIām quite capable of being mean to you.ā Silco tries to lilt his voice with irony, but he sounds weak and quavery.
āItās not being mean,ā Vander insists. āPlease be honest with me if you donāt want something. You can always turn me down. I want to be close to you, in whatever way you want.ā
Silco shudders against him, tension rippling through his torso and limbs. Vander holds him tighter, wrapping their legs together and squeezing his sides. Eventually, Silcoās trembling slows and his tension releases, his muscles going loose and pliant. Vander nuzzles at his temple.
After a long moment Silco speaks.
āMy safeword shall be āZaun,āā he says languidly.Ā
āThatās a terrible safeword,ā Vander protests. Silco can hear the smile in his voice. āYou say it all the time! You should pick something you wouldnāt normally say, like āeucalyptus,ā or something.ā
āMy safeword shall be, āLeave me alone, you distracting oaf, Iām trying to work and youāre talking to me about eucalyptus.āā
Vander laughs. Silco feels it vibrate through his chest and belly. His breath releases in a gasp.
āI love you,ā Vander says against his temple.
ā...ālove you,ā Silco murmurs.
Instigator(s) on AO3 - Chapter 15: Love is our freedom