(E-Liz is the Name)

I'm 24 years old and originally from Kentucky. I am a High school English teacher in central Illinois. I teach Freshman English and College Composition. I am a lover of most music, movies, and books. So, just be prepared for anything. :)

[wizardnuke]

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

[aethersea]

some idiot advisor: I can’t believe his majesty lets his boytoy attend these council meetings, it’s an insult to the noble institutions that uphold our nation, it’s an outrage—

a somewhat smarter advisor: you’re just mad bc he pointed out how dumb your naval attack strategy and no one laughed when you made a mean joke about him

[fieldbears]

Boytoy has gone from a top fighter who was well respected but in constant danger to wearing silks and eating grapes on daises. That fucked up rotator cuff was the best thing to ever happen to him

[mzminola]

Bonus points: at least half the other concubines are experts in assorted fields, the monarch brings them to relevant meetings to both play up a reputation for frivolity, and make sure at least one person there doesn’t have an outside agenda.

[aethersea]

my harem? 

did you mean: my chief strategic advisors

[kitten-kin]

The kingdom is an absolute monarchy but the harem has become a secret meritocracy. The nobles and official advisors kind of side-eye His Majesty because wow some of these consorts must have like…really good personalities. Kings of the past have had their own specific tastes of course; size, shape, age, color, et cetera. More than one ruler has interviewed consorts feet first and Ardwin the Adventurous’s obsession - God rest him - with snuffling armpits like a sow rooting for mushrooms is well known despite never being alluded to in polite company.

The worst part of it is that the new king takes at least part of his harem with him everywhere and it’s so embarrassing. The Counselors of War have never once met with His Divine Majesty without that hulking battle-scarred consort interrupting with muttered growls or scornful snorts. And the Ministers of Finance all flinch at the sight of that fox-faced one, rumored to have been rescued from the gallows because His Augustness took a fancy to his eyes or some such nonsense. General petition days are even worse, with practically the entire harem drifting in and out of the Grand Hall in turns, insouciant and smug like granary cats who know they’ve been given full run of the courtyards and barns.

It’s absolutely infuriating that the kingdom has never before known such a period of peace and prosperity under this ridiculous monarch.

[madilayn]

Tag to this - the biggest secret is the Queen who runs the Kingdom’s spy network. It’s the envy of all the other Kingdoms around, and not a few nobles! Not ALL of the Kingdom’s Diplomats are spies. But many of their servants are. The Queen grew up as a neglected child, and she learned how servants are ignored, but who always know everything that goes on. Many of the spies are like the Queen - beautiful and seemingly vacuous. The sp[ies tend to have great fun, and also work closely with the Concubines

[aethersea]

#everyone is furious when the king picks his bride #a minor princess! of a minor ally! she’s not even that pretty or smart or anything! #but at least when the king marries her he’ll have to get rid of his harem #or at the VERY LEAST stop FLAUNTING them everywhere #if nothing else her family will object to this insult to her honor

#BUT THEN

#somehow she’s befrIENDED THE CONCUBINES

#sometimes they follow HER around!! in public!! 

#the king and queen are  s h a r i n g  t h e  h a r e m

#never has the court been so furious and scandalized all at once #it’s a genuine shock to all of them when ten years later no one has even once tried to overthrow the royal family #(they’re wrong there have been no less than thirty attempted coups twelve of which nearly succeeded) #(but the harem and the spy network are VERY good at their jobs)

[yusaofthedawn]

@thebibliosphere

[we-are-the-reckless-youthhhh]

[explanatorypower-deactivated201]

i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me

[free-market-pluralist-deactivat]

This is the america they don’t want you to see

[robloxgf-deactivated20190515]

i love america

[dalaisa-katili-deactivated20170]

This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry

[rasec-wizzlbang-blog]

*group of people having fun* this site: wtf this is so scary

[wilfulwayfarer-deactivated20220]

People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say.

[inkandcayenne]

Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture: 

Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered.

Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced.

The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.” 

Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House”

The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone)

It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.”

[postmarxed]

We’re not even gonna mention FEMA’s Waffle House Index where they determine how bad a natural disaster is by calling the local Waffle House to see if they’re open?

[darringtonshorthalt]

that last bit isn’t a joke

[dancinbutterfly]

When Corona first hit, you knew it was bad because Waffle House shut down COMPLETELY.

And you can tell it’s still bad because they’ve put Ceiling High Plastic Dividers between every booth and blocked off all but like 2 tables at the counter and after a certain point at night? It’s carry-out only. Period. No exceptions.

Anyone who wants to tell you we are fine? I will post pictures of Waffle House not being fully functional 24/7 and go “no we’re not.”

Because this is a place that stays open with no power and boil water advisories. Ok? When every Waffle House in the country is back to normal - and I mean 💯 normal - only then will we be “through this” and not a moment before.

[thekinkygrad]

I love Waffle House so much

[prisonhannibal]

she sounds so cool I hope she leaves him and has a great life with someone who appreciates her

[otterjpg]

queen shit

[prisonhannibal]

I am pleased to know they broke up tonight

[tiffanarchyforever]

Reminds me of the saying, "a fool at 40 is a fool indeed"

[goodcleansurf]

why do these redditors keep bitchin about these top broads they’re in a relationship with? godamn

[hockeyheart]

[humanmaybe]

Here’s an article link:

https://metro.co.uk/2020/11/20/first-complete-t-rex-skeleton-found-locked-in-battle-with-triceratops-13625874/

World's first complete T-rex skeleton found locked in battle with a Triceratops

'One of the most important paleontological discoveries of our time'

the article says it took years to unearth the whole thing and arrange sale and that’s why it’s being announced officially now. It’s 14 tons!!

Also incredibly detailed, including skin impressions, and injuries, with visible T-Rex teeth stuck in the Triceratops’ body! This is amazing!

[humanmaybe]

(The link I added isn’t showing up in the notes so I’m commenting again so ppl see this in case they want a link!)

[dancing-coyote]

Holy shit

[sandsbuisle]

The reason it took so long is the landowners refused to hand it over without being paid an exorbant amount of money. Capitalism restricts science.

[schizophrenicarchivist-remade-d]

When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay

Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe

4-6 lbs of Hamburger/turkey burger

1 pk onion soup mix OR ranch mix

1 TBs ketchup

1 Tbs spicy brown mustard,

1 Tbs bbq sauce

1 Tbs steak sauce

1 egg

mix, shape into a loaf in a big pan, and bake at 350 for 2 hrs (maybe 2 and a half if you’re feeling dangerous)

You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf

[comfynb]

here's a mashed potato recipe from my homophobic mother that i swore to never share that would pair perfectly!

(6 servings)

-2lbs red potatoes

-1 cup butter (2 sticks)

-1 cup cream cheese (1 pack)

-Chives (optional)

-Salt & Pepper to taste

1. drop those bad boys (potatoes) in a big ol pot. U don't even have to chop them just wash them

2. boil til soft!

3. Drain

4. Mash (usually they're small enough you can use a fork if u don't have one of those squashers) until its a pretty chunky mix

5. add the other stuff. Keep mashing

I like my mashed potato consistancy more lumpy but its all up to you!! Peel the potatoes or keep them on, it literally makes the creamiest fluffiest mashed potatoes which she always served with the nastiest fuckin meatloaf

[lovelyladylavie]

Now if anybody got some revenge rolls and revenge green bean casserole we'll get a full meal

[kreature-ofthenight]

Got room for desert? Cus my Grandma was just a generaly evil old hag who was abusive to my mum and my siblings also you guessed it since I came out I was not said hello to at christmas

She made pretty god Dampfnudeln (its like a sweet bread rool you eat hot and with vanilla sauce)

1. Put 300 gram flour into a bowl and make an indent in the middle

2.combine

20 gram yeast

1 tea sp. Brown sugar

3 tbsp milk 

mix until smooth

3.mix into part of the flour but leave a big flour rim on the outside

4.set 30 gram of Butter on the flour rim and cover everything with a towel

let sit till you see bubbles in the dough

5. add

 1/8 liter luke warm milk

30 gram Sugar

one pack of vanilla sugar

a pinch of salt

2 eggs 

and knead the dough until smooth

6. put

 1/8 luke warm milk

30 gram of Butter

1 pack of vanilla sugar 

into a heat resistant glass bowl and let melt (the glass bowl is quite important)

7. Form about 12 dough rolls and put them into the milk

8. Cover with a lid (any lid will go it does not need to be sealed air tight)

Let bake in the pre heated oven at 200°C for about 30 minutes or until they start to get brown and fluffy

9. Serve with vanilla sauce or fresh fruit

[clover11-10]

Behold the Fuck You buffet

[maximumninjavoid]

Reblogging because revenge IS tasty

[angryschnauzer]

And in this case, served hot.

[adulthoodisokay]

i feel like this post makes the rounds every year at thanksgiving time and that’s delightful to me

[heir-of-the-founders]

Creamed corn casserole.

1/2 cup melted butter

2 beaten eggs

1 box jiffy cornbread mix

1 can (approx 15 oz) of drained whole kernel corn

1 can (approx 15 oz) creamed corn

1 cup sour cream

Mamas mashed potatoes (shes a bitch but by god she can make some mashed potatoes)

The exact measurements are to preferance but

Peeled boiled potatoes

Soft butter

Whole or 2% Milk

Natures seasoning

Salt n pepper

Mix until smooth but not runny (or preferred consistency), using preferred mixing method.

Greenbean casserole!

1 part green beans (i prefer canned)

1 part cream of mushroom soup

A handful or two of french fried onions (about a cup or so).

Mix it all together, sprinkle some more french fried onions on top (not too many)

bake for like 5 mins at 350°f.

Then sprinkle some more fried onions on top.

You can also add a bit of salt and pepper for more flavor, before you mix.

Grandmas corned beef casserole

8 ounces egg noodles

1 (12-ounce) can corned beef (chilled and diced, or 2 to 3 cups diced leftover corned beef)

1 cup/4 ounces shredded mild cheddar cheese (or American cheese)

1 (10 3/4-ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup (or cream of chicken soup)

1 cup milk

2 Tablespoons melted butter

Mix in bowl

Bake in 9x13 pan at 350°f for 35 to 45 mins.

(Make sure most of the noodles are covered by the rest of the mixture, they burn quite easily)

Candied Yams

1 can (approx 29 oz) sweet potatoes

1/4 cup butter cut into bits

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 1/2 cup mini marshmallows

Drain yams and mix with butter and brown sugar in a 9x9 pan

Top evenly with marshmallows

Bake at 400°f for 25 mins or until yams are soft and marshmallos are melted and lightly browned

Only the mashed potatoes and green bean casserole are from a bitch, the rest are from my grandma. Shes pretty cool for the most part, but theyre not secret recipes or anything so-

[breadlesbian]

i still do not understand what possessed so many well-respected actors to do the spy kids movies like

did they pay really well? did you want these beautiful, terrible movies to be a blemish on your career forever?? why

 antonio banderas did so many high-profile movies then in spy kids he looked like this

tony shalhoub has won multiple emmys but he did spy kids and

even fucking george clooney wtf

steve buscemi is pretty goofy but still

salma hayek’s pigtails in this wow 

elijah wood was the lead in a movie that’s tied for the largest number of oscars of all time and he played a character creatively named “THE GUY”

sylvester stallone is like a cultural icon and he played not one but FOUR ridiculously dressed weirdos

alan cumming is the only one i can understand 

[anothercleverjedimindtrick]

Spy Kids is a national treasure

[behelix]

how dare you talk about spy kids as though it is not the most brilliant franchise ever created

[stoppunchingmyllamaog]

They did Spy Kids cuz Spy Kids fuckin SLAPS. Bad post op

[dashaibo]

Real answer: because Robert Rodriguez’s experience working with Tarantino lead to him developing a way to make movies with essentially no budget AND made him a lot of friends in Hollywood, plus he was making these movies specifically for his kids and had such an infectious energy about it, he was a joy to work with and those big-name actors did it almost for free.

[tabbythekouhai-deactivated20201]

So, basically, they did it for fun. Is that it?

[dashaibo]

Yeah, and because it was very little work, the movies were shot in record time almost entirely on greenscreen.

[ll-short-breadstikz-ll]

@emo-bi-mess

[everythingfox]

“Guy finds a baby possum having trouble keeping up with their mom and returns the little fella to her”

(via)

[guillotinedream]

can y’all imagine if aliens did this?? Like imagine ur on a distant planet and your group begins to leave you behind- you’re too slow- and all of a sudden this absolutely fucking massive, hairless monster strolls up to you. So youre standing there, paralyzed in fear, and it just gently picks you up, chases your group until theyre close enough, and just sets you down in the middle of them and leaves. Thats fucking insane what a wild day that little possum had huh

[shymagnolia]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[shymagnolia]

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

[flagellant]

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

[jackalopiel]

I love people with obscure knowledge or useless academic insights. I want to hear your analysis of lighting in Ratatouille. Tell me about the history of soda pop or the references to classical mythology in Macbeth. I want to know about the underlying homoerotic context of that 1930s sci-fi paperback. I think all knowledge is worthwhile knowledge. Explain to me the ecosystems that komodo dragons inhabit. Don't be afraid to learn for the sake of learning.

[a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark]

There are circumstances under which a given piece of knowledge might be useless. There are no circumstances under which ANY knowledge is worthless.

[figofswords]

Stuck.

(it’s 2am, and according to your therapist, you have “a whopping case of ADHD”

[adhd-vibes]

OH GOD ITS ME RN

[the-potato-beeper]

Other people do this? Oh...

[captainrandomstranger18]

[yetizeus]

doing that exact thing rn...

[decadentabyssmalcheesake]

I do this all of the time, is it like, only adhd people do it??? Cause idk if i have it but

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

I have anxiety/depression and I do it too. From what I understand it's not just an ADHD thing. 💖

[ruffboi-mags]

@decadentcheescakesoulsiphon It’s an executive functioning thing, honestly, which means a LOT of people with mental illness and/or neurodivergence deal with it.

[whitepeopletwitter]

How do you catch a hawk?!

[will-ferret]

[wombat-annihilator-deactivated2]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[baconandawesome]

I could actually see this working, under three specific conditions:

1. This hour is the last hour before closing. And immediately after, the store is thoroughly sanatized.

2. This can only happen at places with slef-checkout. All other lanes are closed.

3. During this special shopping time, employees are not obligated to help, talk to or be near customers. You want to be mask free? You gotta commit to he self-serving in every sense of the word.

[autisticexpression]

4. The doors are locked and the customers are quarantined inside. Security cameras film a livestream of them fighting over resources and eventually resorting to cannibalism

[andthwip-deactivated20220219]

Disney’s Pencil Test for Frozen (2013)

[theglitchmaster-deactivated2024]

I don’t think Disney is aware that their movies look so much better in two dimensions

[magic-and-moonlit-wings]

That comment reminds me of another comment for which I can’t recall the source; paraphrased, “The best CGI now will always look outdated ten years from now, but awesome drawings will always look like awesome drawings.” 

[stachionalgeographic]

Also it was…not the best CGI

[shining-magically]

The thing I hate most about Disney not doing 2D anymore is that the box office disappointment of Winnie the Pooh (2011) (which is adorable and hilarious btw if you’ve never seen it) is often pointed to as the final nail in the coffin

Y’all released a 1 hr and 9 minute cutesy collection of Pooh Bear short stories about trying to find Eeyore’s lost tail on the SAME DAY AS THE FINAL HARRY POTTER FILM, of course it didn’t do well

AND y’all went up against YOURSELVES because Cars 2 had just opened like three weeks before and was very much still in theaters

It was not the animation, it was never the animation

[hella-marshmella]

I think this was an issue for The Princess and the Frog too. Not only did it come out the same month as the 2nd Chipmunk movie (which is trash but it made double what TPATF did).

You remember what came out literally one week after it?

Avatar. It went up against what was the highest grossing film of all time (until Endgame). They played themselves.

[shining-magically]

[bisexualcrises]

Don’t forget how Disney released one of their last 2D animated films of the era Treasure Planet on the same day as the first Harry Potter film and refused to delay the release even though they knew they would have made more money. They purposefully sabotaged their 2D animated films.

[universejunction]

I’ve been re-watching all those Disney renaissance films, cause kids and Disney+ (don’t @ me, it’s easier than piracy), and yeah, the animation really holds up. Not so much with the 3D films (looking at you, Toy Story).

[upinflamesicon]

someone said ‘white man of the month’?

[curlyfreaksword]

To all the people who believe property is more important than 600 hundred years of slavery and oppression of Black people.  

[anti-capitalistlesbianwitch]

[ilovegodwyn]

Are you threatening me with violence

[thechurchofapathy]

He’s so close to figuring it out

[birlinterrupted]

Millennials are Killing the Bed Frame Industry: Feminist Edition

[pizoxuat]

Getting a $50 bed frame that gets your mattress off the floor will extend the life of your mattress. You sweat when you are sleeping and it seeps into the mattress. A lot of it evaporates from the surface, but some goes down in deeper. Over the years you could end up with mildew and rot at the bottom of your mattress. God forbid you have carpet under it, that would need replacing too. If your mattress has air flow under it, it will evaporate from both sides instead of mildewing.

[fromchrista]

I don’t think anyone ever told me why you get a mattress frame, that makes so much sense.

[red-panda-kyle]

You guys, things happen in life because there has been a long history of events leading up to the invention of a product. If you’re ever in doubt about something, just Google the pros and cons.

[sushinfood]

alternatively

[starsofyesteryear]

japanese style futons/shikibutons are cool for this bc they’re made to be moved and picked up after sleeping so the moisture and mold don’t build up. If you can lift up your western style mattress every day I’ll grant you can put that on the floor to because you can keep it clean and because I’m scared of how buff you must be

[sushinfood]

time to get fucking jacked, lads

[naturallybadforyou]

Where the fuck did you get a solid $50 bed frame?!??!