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catchymemes

chaliceink

memes-to-show-my-therapist

Therapist: do you ever feel like someone is watching you or following you?

Me: does covering the camera on my laptop to avoid government surveillance count?

Therapist: well i wouldn’t really say that that’s irrational...

Me:

mayothompson

unclefather

yeehaw

sirfrogsworth

She talks like I write. I feel attacked.

succubusboyfriend

me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???

my brain:

my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………

ranibow sprimkle……..

kepchup.

SPINCH

B A N C H

chichen nuggest

b R o G L e

Constantly torn between “I can’t ask for help bc then I’m annoying and everyone will be mad” and “I must ask for help at every possible stage because I might do it wrong and then everyone will be mad” ya feel

normalwizard

bears have absolutely no right to be as cute as they are. i want to hug them and pet them. big fluffy dogs, supersized

normalwizard

this thing is one of the most dangerous predators in north america, is bulletproof, and could kill me in milliseconds without breaking a sweat and just. look at his big ole paws and his big ole nose. his wittle ears. i wuv him

normalwizard

human brain: bear will kill you

monkey brain: hehe fluffie

owlgams

*monkey brain: bear will kill you

Human brain: hehe fluffie

jaybarou

Did they stutter?

darkestwings

science: bear will kill you human & monkey brain in unison: hehe fluffyyy

vagabonds-and-troubadours

todaysbird

kursedkitties

Flat boys

princesstigerbelle

@cursed-kat-images @toastycursedcats

More flat boiz

princesstigerbelle

@mostlycatsmostly @mysticalgalaxysalad

korolevx-deactivated20180128

my mom got a pack of candles and only realized once she started putting them on the cake that they said “birthday boy” and not “happy birthday” so we made do

flairina

HABY BIRTDOY

chris-evans

Oh my GOD

striders

Hey is the build a bear employee supposed to force us to jump up and down or are we getting hazed

girl-in-the-hitops

as a build-a-bear employee it is my honor to happily inform you that we get to make everyone do whatever the fuck we want during a heart ceremony. jump to get that heart beating. rub that heart to your knees so your furry friend always needs you. rub it to your toes so it’s totally awesome! shake it up so it’s got enough energy to hang out with you all day! close your eyes, make a wish, and give it a kiss you helpless motherfucker

afanofmanystuffs

Look, reanimation is a Process, okay

ohmightysmiter

“Reanimation is a process” is a sentence that just makes me want to play a Necromancer as a very deadpan Build-A-Bear employee.

onceiwashere

No woman will ever want to fuck you

dude i’m a world of warcraft blog. you think this is news?

thyrell

toastbutteregg

me after an exam i didnt study for

mossman-making-stars

So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image: