never think

song about bella performed by eddie boi himself Hails she/her 23

[funnytwittertweets]

[eddieboi]

I really want to write a book heavily inspired by twilight but how obvious is too obvious?

[eddieboi]

just thinkin bout the clearwaters

[your-mind-is-a-stream-of-colors]

Rosalie when her family come at her for insulting Edward:

Listen, I can’t give anymore information but, I may have girlbossed a little to close to the sun

[captainbritish]

Finally, the threat has been contained. New York is safer tonight because of this valiant effort.

[movie-gifs]

David! I got a new dog!

[abluestitchintime]

Out of all the dog breeds we have, she had to pick Collie 

[estrelatzia]

David be like:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ok but if I could make a career out of driving around in a van & breaking into abandoned buildings with my high school stoner buddies I would do that in a heartbeat, total respect to the mystery gang

[rascalwascal]

this implies that scooby is a stoner because he is part of the mystery gang.

[colgatekeeper]

He’s getting hot boxed in that funky van as we speak

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

What precisely did you assume is the function of Scooby Snacks

[imacreepercat]

You have ruined scooby do

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the show premiered in 1969 and there is a high degree of canonical evidence that Shaggy and Scooby’s characters were heavily based on 1960s drug culture

[eddieboi]

So um

[politijohn]

[imeverywoman420]

Defining yourself by your romantic relationships is so unhealthy like what if he dies sis what then

[djpaulyd]

the friar to juliet when she came to talk about romeo

[eddieboi]

Guys I might have to rehome my guniea pigs does anyone have suggestions on where to look to do this? I’ve tried guniea pig finder . Com and haven’t had any luck :(

[jasperwhitcock]

i’ve been seeing a lot of vampire sperm discourse and surprised that i’ve not yet seen anyone talking abt how vampires don’t digest so like u either gotta cough that shit back up later or walk around like a moving sperm bank w ur belly full of ur vampire’s bf’s fluids

[carllisle]

you gotta cough it up sooner rather than later too else it freezes up like ice cubes so you start rattling with every step

[meet-me-in-the-pouringrain]

And there it is, the worst thing I’ve ever read

[edworm-cullen]

Ok but if venom remains liquid in their body, then the freezing point of venom has to be lower than their body temperature. Sperm mixed with stomach venom could still potentially be more of a slush than an actual solid in the stomach. Or if venom dissolves everything the way it dissolves contacts, then sperm would just be completely liquified before being upchucked

[rikerstrombones]

in order for that to happen then a vampires stomach would have to have the ability to blend or at least churn the sperm so it can reach the consistency. either that or the sperm and stomach venom meeting cause a chemical reaction that creates the slush.

it's also possible that the venom in the stomach is stronger and able to dissolve the sperm removing the need to throw up completely

[carllisle]

Esme and Rosalie doing cartwheels in the garden: 👯‍♀️

Bella: ?

Esme and Rosalie: we’re making slushies 🥰

[haletwinsstan]

Soooo could they make blood-cum slushies? Like, drink some blood, go down on your man, do some twirling, cough it up, bone app the teeth?

[rikerstrombones]

vampire: *shakes their partner up and down like a maraca* daiquiri?

[haletwinsstan]

this implies they chug a full bottle of rum too are vampires just giant cocktail shakers?

[rikerstrombones]

Bella: its like diamonds...your beautiful

Edward: beautiful? this is the skin of a killer, bella

[unclefather]

does this mean anything to you

[iamoutofideas]

itmeans everything to me

[tinytownofhatchetfield]

I love how memories just resurfaced after seeing a single, blurred image

[thevlturi-deactivated20220601]

bella swan wanted to get railed again so badly on her honeymoon she was literally PLOTTING to get edward to fuck her again i can not

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[jenny-dreadful]

[clonerightsagenda]

turns out when you ask other Americans “hey did your high school have you fill out a questionnaire that matched you romantically with your classmates” the response you get is either ‘what the fuck’ or ‘yeah we did that too lol’

[autisticexpression]

Everything I read about the US is worst than the last

[dajo42]

why does bart do that voice in this moment and why have i been laughing about it for five fucking hours

[dajo42]

ya meen iddaint me noggin issme peepuhs? ohh well thas just Luverlee