And so the story goes

Mostly reblogs of interesting things or lines from a book I'm never gonna write » Latinx | witchy | Bi | Feminist | PM's Welcome! 20 | Personal Blog

[eeire-but-intrigued]

He knows every single thing that I was scared would blacklist me, he knows every detail, and he still thinks I'm so easy to love.

I never thought I'd be allowed to have something like this

[thundergrace]

I couldn't love him more.

[prridot]

[ID: two photos of Lil Nas X being interviewed by Jimmy Fallon. He’s wearing a loose-fitting white top and a knee-length red plaid skirt, with black combat boots. With it is a tweet by Lil Nas X reading: “stop asking me why i’m wearing a skirt, i will never trust pants again!” End ID]

[borrelia]

all advertising needs to be destroyed im sick of ads on the free apps that *came with the computer i bought*.. on MY computer! im sick of 15 seconds of advertising before i watch a video made by a zillenial then paid to recite how much they love the new mocoa cocoa drink mix im sick of brands pretending to be my friend im sick of urban space used only to sell you products (later, somewhere else) im sick of subscription services im sick of copyright im sick of new roads for new customers for our new walmart im SICK!!!! burn it all down i can't live like this!!!!

[guerrillatech]

Amazing

[eeire-but-intrigued]

I wish I could taste a sliver of normalcy without the world collapsing around me.

I wish I could abandon this house fire, I don't wanna be the girl who dies here.

I want a long life and it hurts so much to want that.

[eeire-but-intrigued]

Y'all I'm like really happy

Like I didn't know I could feel this type of happiness

[eeire-but-intrigued]

I've only ever been loved in a heartbreaking way.

In a 'youre bad for me and it hurts and I don't wanna love you but I love you' way

I want someone to love me like it's the easiest thing they've ever done. I'm tired of being a painful kind of love.

-A.

[twilightly]

Bells… I put a new can of pepper spray in your bag.

Billy Burke as Charlie Swan in Twilight (2008)

[eeire-but-intrigued]

I just came out as nonbinary to everyone on my Instagram (no family)

It's terrifying

Like I've had this internal battle since I was 14, forcing it down over and over and over again

Every time I would let myself think about it, to the point of almost coming out

I'd push myself back into the closet out of fear and a lot of internalized transphobia

I never thought anything bad about other nb/trans people but when it came to me? Oh god I hated myself so much

I centered my world around being desirable to men, I would do so much, cut away so much of myself so I could "earn" men's praises

And I was even more terrified of being unlovable

I thought no one in their right mind could ever accept me and love me if I was nonbinary. I thought it was asking too much, that no man would ever love me like that.

I was 17 when I started thinking those things

Then I was in a relationship with a man for over a year and I knew the whole time he'd leave me if I was anything other than a cis woman (I knew because I asked maybe 3 months in)

And he broke my heart anyways, for other reasons

So I'm done centering my world around men

I'm done being scared of making other people uncomfortable over MY gender,, or lack thereof

God I don't even like men that much, I don't know why I ever tried so hard

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

not to dredge up old wounds and sound bitter but when I was 17 my dad died in a house fire and the very next week we had a huge geometry test I hadn’t studied for because of the whole House Fire Dead Dad situation so the extremely kind kid sitting next to me let me cheat from his test since the answers were multiple choice, but I was SO stressed about the whole House Fire Dead Dad situation I didn’t even notice we had different tests.

My teacher handed them back the next day with an obvious zero written on mine, and when I started crying in class he told me that’s what I get for cheating, in front of everyone.

Most things from my teenagehood I have let go, but if I ever run into this man in a grocery store I 100% will ask him what is problem was.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

That said, I used to spend a lot of time grieving this girl who lost so much and who suffered so much under the rules of people like that teacher. I told my therapist that the tragedy of it all is that nobody ever came to save her and so she was never saved.

My therapist asked me why I saw her as separate from myself. I realized I felt that at some point between then and Adulthood, that girl had died, and I was mourning her death. All the time, I looked at photos of my younger self as if they were memories of a childhood friend I’d lost.

My therapist helped me understand and accept that she never died, she is me, and by surviving, I did save her life. She is alive, and those hopes and dreams she had before she felt pain and loss still exist in me. And every time someone treats me badly and I stand up for myself, I am standing up for her. Every time I try to get better, I am nursing her back to health. Every time I take care of myself, I am taking care of her. I am the adult she needed.

She was saved, because she is me, and I saved myself. I saved her. I saved us both.

I’m only sharing such personal feelings this plainly, because I hope it will resonate with some of you who feel that there’s a part of you, a child crying, who got left behind. If you’re still alive, you’re holding that child in your arms right now. They are vulnerable, they are wounded, but they are alive. Take care of yourself, and you’ll take care of them. I love you.

[schizophrenicarchivist-remade-d]

When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay

Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe

4-6 lbs of Hamburger/turkey burger

1 pk onion soup mix OR ranch mix

1 TBs ketchup

1 Tbs spicy brown mustard,

1 Tbs bbq sauce

1 Tbs steak sauce

1 egg

mix, shape into a loaf in a big pan, and bake at 350 for 2 hrs (maybe 2 and a half if you’re feeling dangerous)

You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf

[comfynb]

here’s a mashed potato recipe from my homophobic mother that i swore to never share that would pair perfectly!

(6 servings)

-2lbs red potatoes

-1 cup butter (2 sticks)

-1 cup cream cheese (1 pack)

-Chives (optional)

-Salt & Pepper to taste

1. drop those bad boys (potatoes) in a big ol pot. U don’t even have to chop them just wash them

2. boil til soft!

3. Drain

4. Mash (usually they’re small enough you can use a fork if u don’t have one of those squashers) until its a pretty chunky mix

5. add the other stuff. Keep mashing

I like my mashed potato consistancy more lumpy but its all up to you!! Peel the potatoes or keep them on, it literally makes the creamiest fluffiest mashed potatoes which she always served with the nastiest fuckin meatloaf

[tastefullyterrible]

So after spending hours combing through the recipes in the comments of this post I have created a cookbook. Feel free to use it. The link should work for everyone, its the only file on the google drive! I have referenced all of the recipes I used, all of which are from this thread. I made it for myself, but figured after all that work I should probably share. Happy spite cooking! 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WjcDfZrPMr0Pw9f5GfEy0aTs2KEx4Pub/view?usp=sharing

[animatedamerican]

there is a SPITE COOKBOOK now :DDD

[eeire-but-intrigued]

The cute depersonalization moment when I twisted my hand to the point of pain because I feel like I'm in a first person video game ((: love that for me

[eeire-but-intrigued]

Just Quirky Depersonalization Things™ like ahaha did I see a video on tiktok about The Simulation,, guess no one is real guys OOOoo

Fuck off please. It's not a cute little game, it's fucking terrible to not feel like an actual person.

[eeire-but-intrigued]

I pressed my hand against the mirror

I was crying

I wish I could feel even the ghost of who you were but I don't know you

I wish I could help you

[eeire-but-intrigued]

I'm gonna wake up at 6:15 tomorrow because I used to wake up that early for school and hated it

And I'm going to love it

I'm going to love waking up early because I am alive whether or not I want to be

I am alive

And I deserve to love it

I deserve to love being alive

12:07am Jan 11 2021

[all-pacas]

PLEASE tell me more about ratatouille the musical

i cannot even BEGIN to EXPLAIN

basically on tiktok people started joking about ratatouille the musical, a musical that does not exist, as kind of a way for theater people to mess around during covid? right? so they started writing fake songs for this musical, creating fake playbills, people started doing coreography for the songs, costume designers jumped in with pitches, sets were designed, all by users, for a musical that does not exist, so it’s just a really fun exercise in creativity and collaboration, right? it’s funny, but it’s also heartwarming and just exciting to see people coming  together like this, showing off their creativity, taking this seriously, making a broadway musical in minute long videos on the internet.

everyone is having fun, it’s really charming, it’s a bit tongue in cheek but also sincere, just a fun “let’s all make a fake musical” game.

anyway it’s being performed on january first, for real, to raise money for The Actor’s Fund. it exists now. it has been manifested. starring Wayne Brady, Adam Lambert, Ashley Park, Tituss Burgess as Remy, etc. various created-on-tiktok songs will be performed. disney is allowing this to happen. even the playbill is made from a tiktoker’s design. there is a playbill. 

[image described: a banner for ‘ratatouille the tiktok musical’, which is text on a purple background. to the right is a drawing of a fork holding up a bite of ratatouille, shaped to look like a rat. end descrip.]

tiktok has manifested a musical.

[empressaquarius]

As horny as I am, I'm not at all interested in sex without a deep connection. I refuse to share my body with someone who is anything less than obsessed with me.

[xserialkillerx]

!!!