Company Newsletter

𝘼𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙃𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙣.

[eldritchvistasmultinational]

Company Update

Sorry for the delay, Gladys got into some of the new "Pre-workout" formula we've been developing and long story short: we're going to need a huge hiring push in both the Secretarial and Janitorial pools. I personally have never seen so much blood, but many members of the board have assured me that they have and I find that comforting.

Some quick bullet points for today's newsletter:

- There are no longer 2 wolves inside of you. Due to various market factors and the realities of Wolf allocation, some of you currently only have 1.5 wolves inside of you. This is to account for the fact that many of you have anywhere between 4-6 wolves inside of you at any given moment.

- We have received your feedback regarding the Key Cards, and will be returning to the color-coded system as requested.

- Okay but one last thing about the wolves though: I don't think you all realize this, but those wolves are getting paid a consulting fee. We're losing thousands of dollars a day just paying wolves, many of whom are then turning around and being fed by you.

- It's a nightmare for HR, specifically Payroll.

- You probably don't realize this, but this is eating into the budgets of most departments. Nearly every instance of corner-cutting over the past three quarters has been the result of how much we are having to pay these wolves.

- Also some of you are going to have to let some wolves go. Straight up, a lot of you simply do not need that many wolves. Four to six wolves per person on average? Crazy work. Diabolical.

- You work in Market Research, Grant. You do not need there to be 6 wolves inside, you need to learn to prioritize.

- If we could all just maybe cool it with the wolves that would really help out a lot.

[rabiadraw]

Hello Arthur

[piss-pirate]

His yucky face is my favourite thing ever

[piss-pirate]

[eldritchvistasmultinational]

Same energy.

[carsonjonesfiance]

This is the second time in my voting history that I’ve participated in flipping a red seat in Alabama for Democrats (the previous time being my beloved Doug Jones) so it’s always funny to see people turn around and say voting doesn’t matter when I’ve seen it twice in the past ten years flip seats in what is supposed to be safe Republican country. Republicans are digging their own grave with their radicalization and it is making them lose (and with your help we can make them lose harder). Vote.

[cluegrrl]

Vote. If yours didn't matter, they wouldn't be trying so hard to make sure you couldn't do it.

[elfwreck]

Democrats outnumber Republicans in the US.

Democrats outnumber Republicans in several "red" states - the Rs just work very hard to keep them from voting.

In "red" states, every Democratic vote matters, even if they don't win; it proves support, and it makes the Rs nervous about pushing their agenda. (And in states where there is also voting on laws, the public can block some of their agenda even without voting in a Democratic governor or majority in their legislature.)

In "blue" states, Democratic votes help remind everyone that we outnumber them, and help push the Overton window to the left.

If voting didn't matter, nobody would be wasting money trying to convince you not to.

[siphersaysstuff]

Again, part of how the Republicans have gone as far as they have is because they vote in the downticket races that generally don't get the attention they should. They instill their shitty venal little turds at all levels of government.

But when turnout is high... they lose. Almost uniformly, and wins tend to be quite narrow.

Vote to make life miserable for your local bigot.

[eldritchvistasmultinational]

Vote like your life dep- no, fuck that. Vote like OUR lives depend on it. Voting is a collective revolutionary act, and too many people have died to make sure we could all participate.

[godofstory]

ok let me tell you what happened this episode

so basically..

[eldritchvistasmultinational]

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[inkvoices]

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

[inkvoices]

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

[lightningladybug]

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

[inkvoices]

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

[dannnnnnnnnnnnex]

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

[februarys-wednesday]

i like the idea that bruce just shows up to league meetings with his birds with absolutely no explanation offered

i mean this man frequently stalks his coworkers and knows everything that's happening in their personal lives and i think he'd forget that HE is the weird one for doing it and not everybody automatically knows when he's acquired a new child

so he just shows up at the watchtower with a new bird and literally says nothing about it . just sits at his chair with the latest robin standing next to him and literally doesn't acknowledge that anything is different and it gets even more confusing when they change their costumes and names 😭

like

20-something bruce: and containing this may be a matter of-flash did you have a question

barry: uh. yeah. sorry, what is that?

20-something bruce: (glancing at 9 yr old dick who has been next to him for 45 minutes) that's robin. obviously. as i was saying,

-

early 30s bruce, who hasn't shown up with a robin for a few years, entering with a nightwing and a jason todd robin:

barry:

diana:

hal:

j'onn:

bruce: what.

hal:

hal: do you like clone them or

-

mid 30s bruce, quietly talking with a clearly-not-sixteen-years-old robin in the corner after being without one for two years:

hal:

diana:

barry:

j'onn:

clark:

bruce:

tim:

bruce: this one followed me

-

late 30s bruce zeta-beaming in with a nightwing, a slightly older robin, and an absolutely BUILT man in a red hood:

barry: did you hire a bodyguard

bruce: no.

barry: whos mr red over there

bruce: you don't remember my second one???

barry:

hal:

diana:

j'onn:

clark:

barry: did. did that one not die

jason: got better

-

later 30s bruce, quietly showing around a blonde robin:

hal:

bruce: don't ask.

hal: i didn't say anything

-

40 yr old bruce, making intense, unbroken eye contact with a black shadow:

clark, leaning over to talk to tim: what are they doing

tim, not looking up from his fancy ipad: do i look like i know that

-

red robin popping in unnanounced in the middle of a league meeting: batman is alive.

barry: who the FUCK are you???

-

batman, some minutes later, trailed by what is CLEARLY a new robin: did red robin happen to pass through here????

barry: i have several questions

-

no-longer-lost-in-the-time-stream bruce, talking to batgirl, black bat, and the signal:

hal: did you get three more.

bruce: no. just one.

hal: i shouldn't have asked, my bad

-

mid 40s bruce wayne, stepping out of the zeta tube: sorry i'm late

diana: not to worry. let's get start-

bruce: i have a few more coming behind me

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

jason: hi

cass: 👋

diana:

diana: ok should we st-

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

dick, holding damian like a scowling, sopping wet cat: bruce he's not feeling polite today

damian: HISSS

bruce: okay does he need to go back?

dick: he said he's fine but hes just not feeling polite

diana:

diana: is that the las-

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

steph: b i need a hair tie

diana:

diana: so can-

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

duke: b did i miss rolecall

diana: no, signal, you did not. let's-

zeta tube: 🌀🌀🌀

tim: b alf is mad at you

bruce: why

hal: it's like a fucking clown car

steph: you didn't eat breakfast

tim: you didn't eat breakfast either

steph: shut.

damian: HISSSS

jason: wing. if you do not keep that brat quiet-

dick: hes a BABY!!!!!

duke: you didn't eat breakfast either, timothy

jason: hes a BITCH!!!!!

tim: who the fuck told you????

cass: :)

hal: (storming off, in tears), YOU HAVE TOO MANY CHILDREN.

[eldritchvistasmultinational]

The tiniest little Rockman

[eldritchvistasmultinational]

🎵🎶"We gotta win this race..."🎶🎵 #customactionfigures #willadianautfit #zoids #microactionfigures #transformers #dianauts #startrekinnerspace #starwarsmicromachines #maskedrider #cheetor https://www.instagram.com/p/CXzbyBiMJNd/?utm_medium=tumblr

[tommyholland]

Ted Cruz is speaking at my school next week LMAOOOO

[sleepiesoft]

ask him why he killed 20-28 people in northern california from 1960-1970

[eldritchvistasmultinational]

[ithelpstodream]

is it really ok to punch a nazi?

(watch the whole thing)

[seriesofnonsequiturs]

“I would like to defeat Nazis on planet Earth first”

[rashemibabe]

The white liberal part 😂😂

[coneycat]

He makes many cogent points

“Hopefully more Nazis.”

[eldritchvistasmultinational]

[tami-taylors-hair]

I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 

“A scam” people are fucking wild.  

[dragginage]

This happened to me, too. A woman had used WIC for the majority of her stuff (which I say from personal experience is such a long and embarrassing process) and to buy the remainder of her groceries, which included diapers and wipes, she used a card, and it got declined. I bought the other $30 of her groceries because hey, I’ve been there, and now I’m not. She was extremely emotional and began to cry and even hugged me. My mom called me on the drive home and could tell I had been crying myself, asked what was wrong, and when I told her what happened, she berated me for being “duped.” I couldn’t believe she could be so disappointed in one of her children for doing something- nice? Is that the hill you want to die on? Getting mad about people needing groceries?

[systlin]

I once paid for a woman’s bill at the vet…it wasn’t a big one, but she was trying to pay for some medication for her dog, and her card was declined. And her lip started trembling, and she says “I don’t get paid until Tuesday, would he be ok until then?” 

So I just told them to add the $20 something onto my bill, and I thought she was going to break down crying right there.

And I don’t care if it was a scam or not. Just do nice things for people sometimes. 

[flurrin]

Do good recklessly.

[fluorescentnova]

We had to write a Mini Comic for my Illustration Class so I did mine based on The Frog and The Scorpion. Hopefully you all know the story! 

But if you don’t know the story… In the original the scorpion stings the frog in the middle of the river. When the frog asks “why” the scorpion says “it’s in my nature” and they both die. I like my ending more.

Done with watercolor and pen and ink nib.

[notallfay]

I always thought this story was fucked up, even when I heard it as a very young child. I even got put in the naughty corner, and a star next to my name crossed off for questioning it.

This story is so much better, and I like it’s message much more.

[hugsforchris]

[tami-taylors-hair]

A Remote Tribe In India Fired Arrows At And Killed An American Missionary Who Illegally Tried To Visit Them

"If they’d welcomed him with open arms, he could have decimated the entire tribe."

I’m glad this article highlights that if this man made it to shore and had extended contact with these people, he would have exposed them to diseases they’ve never seen before and potentially killed them all. There’s a reason it’s illegal to go there, and Jesus isn’t gonna protect them from chicken pox or the flu. 

[bcpk-deactivated20210131]

[zanabism-deactivated20200529]

Like honestly who asked you to do this. Who asked you to buy a plane ticket and go there. Like just go to the movies ?? Live your life?? Eat a crepe?? Who asked you to do this

[bogleech]

Apparently it was his dream since high school to bring The Jesusness SPECIFICALLY to these people on this island. He was obsessed with Robinson Crusoe all his life and as a child he used to “paint his face with berry juice and run around the woods with a spear.“ I’m not making any of this up this guy had a total fucking hard-on for the idea that he might one day be the white savior of some ~poor ignorant heathens.

[dark-psychic-force]

Colonialism is a poison to the brain

[eldritchvistasmultinational]

[teesadutta]

[archatlas]

The Colbert Report 11.19.14

[kyssthis16]

You see how she explained how race is a social construct (it is) while ALSO SAYING THAT RACISM EXISTS AND IS FUCKED UP? You see how she did that? Don’t mistake this for colorblindness because it clearly isn’t.

[2brwngrls]

Toni Morrison breaks it down. 

[bellblake]

Then he went wilding in the south side of town and threatened to shoot a young man in the face.

[eldritchvistasmultinational]

Never forget that Your Pal™ Archie Andrews put the pistol directly into Sweet Pea's face like he was on the set of Belly. Look at Sweetie's face in the second gif. He's so shook up.