Ellie

Ellie(ish) | She/Her | 20s | Scottish | In Pain

[fangorn-forest]

not enough secret gardens and hidden passageways and bookshelves that open to a mysterious library these days. get working on that girls.

[paperjoshi]

on it boss

[paperjoshi]

trapped in the catacombs boss

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

There’s something so uniquely terrifying about memory issues. I feel like my self is slipping away from me.

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

Here’s the thing I feel like a lot of folks don’t get: I’m not trying to forget what you said. Honestly, I really tried not to. I can’t control what I do and don’t remember—forgetting things just happens. It’s annoying for you, I know, but for me it’s distressing as hell and when you make a big deal out of it rather than just reminding me you make me feel ashamed. I’ll remember that, at least.

It costs you nothing to be kind to people with memory problems. Please. It’s scary enough without people treating memory lapses as a personal failing.

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

Hey, reblog this version instead, please!

[forestdeity]

fighting to the urge to ask “what do you honestly think about me and please provide as much detail as possible”

[deathgasmic]

who else is up permanently feeling like they did something Wrong

[arizonadarling]

Feel like mercymorn when she encounters her new sisters everytime I realize I am the oldest person in a room

[harrirats]

first flower of the ninth

[unimpressiveboyfriend]

psssst. having femininity forced on you is just as traumatizing and harmful as having masculinity forced on you and the former deserves to be taken with the same seriousness as the latter

[annoyinglandmagazine]

Harrow and Palamedes entirely one sided bitter rivalry is actually one of my favourite parts of this book. She goes the entire time stressing about not falling behind him or showing a hint of weakness that he can pounce on because he’s her most concerning competition. She’s terrified of slipping up around him because obviously he’s judging her entire house as inferior and beneath him and she can’t even contend with him, she’s so far behind and he must be gloating so hard.

Then for a decent portion of the book every time someone dies she thinks he killed them.

Every time he talks to her she’s so paranoid about him trying to manipulate her into giving something away or otherwise screw her over, she never accepts that he’d want to work together for anything other than sinister reasons.

Meanwhile Palamedes is casually telling anyone who will listen that he thinks she’s an incredibly cool genius who is objectively terrifying because she’s so amazing at everything she does but also he’d trust her with her life because she’s honourable like that.

And he’d really like to be her friend but it’s no problem if she doesn’t want to call it that and would prefer to hiss at him from the corner like an angry cat. They’ll get past this stage eventually and then he can be nerd friends with the cool and definitely traumatised autistic girl.

[tulipseason]

thinking about how harrow writes to herself “look upon me as a harrowhark who was handed the first genuine choice of our lives; the only choice ever given where we had free will to say, no, and free will to say, yes”. gideon thinks that harrow's refusal to eat her was refusal to be beholden to anyone else, and we know gideon is wrong. but isn’t it insane that while the choice wasn’t to achieve freedom (as gideon believes), the choice itself WAS freedom. to harrow, choosing gideon IS freedom. the first real freedom she’s ever known

[asksloyxp]

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

[shinyrock6498]

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

[asksloyxp]

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

[eleaowl]

The cup is manifesting more to pour from sheer audacity, a renewable resource

[fractally]

don't worry about me when I say this but I think in a way being hunted for sport would be a relief. my nervous system would be like, wow. finally, a proportional reaction

[eleaowl]

My nervous system was already onboard since day 2 🫠

PSA for anyone relating to this; Both are bad signs but if you’re daydreaming about it not just anxious (& making the connection) umm you’re in for an *interesting* time finding out what makes that someone’s natural environment, you have my condolences. If your nervous system just does it, silver lining is we’ve got way better things to help treat or manage that but still it sucks I’m sorry.

Tldr: ✨trauma can do that ✨ at least medical treatments exist a bit for wrangling nervous systems

[coragyps-atratus]

harrowhark ˚₊‧⁺⋆♱ ˖° ࣪𖤐

[reimanticism]

i miss you book one griddlehark

[lonesomelavenderbones]

The Locked Tomb, relatable?

How could I, a queer woman living in America in the year of our lord 2026, possibly relate to a book about a crumbling empire ruled over by people who should have been dead a long, long time ago, whose primary export is Death, that think the only right way of doing things is the way they've been doing things since before the main characters were ever born, a system designed to grind up and spit out women that revolves around an arbitrarily enforced boundary, all propped up by the threat of a supposed enemy that doesn't actually pose a threat to the Empire, but that its rulers want for their own mysterious and nefarious purposes? This is a post about a book. This Is Not A Political Post.

[swordrogue]

I love Gideon the Ninth because you open with Harrow and Gideon going into Canaan House terrified of having their Big Con pretending to be a normal necromancer and cavalier primary, right? Classic stuff, high tension, lovely. But by the end of the book you realize like half the group is doing this.

Cam and Palamedes have gone about this all the wrong way, they're probably only there to meet Dulcie frankly. Cam sticks out like a sore thumb because she's a damn good fighter but has never learned a fencing rule in her life and also they might be up for some light treason while they're flaunting the natural order of their binary gender roles. Then of course the Tridentarii and their pet Babs are there with an even BIGGER secret with HIGHER stakes and honestly they're doing a shit job at covering it up. But no one catches on bc they're too busy gawking Abigail and Magnus who aren't young anymore and can't be bothered to hide their taboo, rules breaking heresy.

Then there's Dulcinea—who, as you may recall,

[gideonnah]

[cptnwynnie]

And he did 😌

edit: for anyone wondering with the hat is..... i forgor :(

[eleaowl]

Accurate almost everywhere tbh