Reader Inserts

I swear I write...once every quarter... on a blue moon... that’s full... and so long as the planets are aligned... and the stars too... and if I can catch that tricky bitch motivation... so yeah! Anyways I write so please enjoy

[magscornerstore]

unfortunately im not normal and have to insert myself into every piece of media i consume

[resident-idiot-simp]

[sternen--staub]

occasional posts from users

[ann-decart]

reblog if you make occasional posts

[cleolinda]

Sometimes I still hear my voice

[maimtodd]

Hi, back on here and currently obsessed with Resident Evil🩸 Drawing a lot of Leon these days, where are my Leon fans at? 😭

Here’s how I see the two sides of him.

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[rubykgrant]

You BEHEAD Marie Antoinette?

[commodorecliche]

you CHOP her head like the GUILLOTINE??

[quadradaz]

OH OH CHAOS FOR FRANCE! CHAOS FOR FRANCE FOR 1000 YEARS!!!!

[petermorwood]

Pity I hadn’t seen this closer to Bastille Day… :-D

[ryan-sometimes]

Working an office job will truly make you have the wildest enemies, bc why is my nemesis rn a woman I’ve never met and who exclusively haunts me by sending diabolical emails, and also a specific guy who left my company before I even worked here and made the system so fuckass that it ruined procedures for like a year

[ryan-sometimes]

Yesterday my nemesis (woman I’ve never met and whose face I’ve never seen) sent my office an email so rude, basically saying we had fucked up every project she ever ordered from us, one of the worst emails I’ve ever read in my life.

And it pissed me off so badly that I spent the ENTIRE WORK DAY today compiling evidence from every project my team has ever done for her, pulling past emails she’d sent us, putting together an entire case proving that she had been the problem all along. That she got projects mixed up, that she’d made requests that were nonsensical, literally everything you could possibly imagine. Screenshots of emails, reports we’d submitted, EVERYTHING.

This woman in particular has been terrorizing my team for years, her name is almost a slur in my office, I had simply had ENOUGH of her.

I put all of this evidence together and sent it to all of my bosses at 4:30pm. Then I took a long break to eat a sweet treat and drink some tea.

After my break, my bosses all called in an emergency meeting with me and they said they read my report and fucking loved it. And I sat on a teams call with my boss’ boss as she wrote my nemesis the scathing email I had always fantasized about sending, using the evidence I’d compiled, and hit send.

It was the most satisfying workday I’ve had since I got hired.

[winnie-wine]

[redstonedust]

being too warm during the day: well, this sucks, but this temperature makes sense because the sun is up, and the sun is making me warm. i am unhappy but logically i can deal with it for now.

being too warm at night: what if i kill everybody.

[red-garden]

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

[drumlincountry]

Why do they even make apps for ADHD. You want me to use my 24/7 handheld immediate distraction device? To manage my 'gets distracted too easily' disorder? Ooooh we developed the perfect tool for managing your anemia. Its hosted in Dracula's castle. 👍

[shortshortking]

Picked up my phone to consult my task list for today and now I'm reblogging this instead, case in point

[flyin-shark]

I feel cheated. no one on Reddit told me that tumblr is a serotonin factory. Keep liking and reblogging my posts please thanks

[felixcloud6288]

Just don't fly too close to the sun.

[flyin-shark]

Throw me to the sun and I’ll get it pregnant

[strangehorse]

he understands the website your honour

[chesue00]

Baby Leon<3

[menmadeofwarninglabels]

Domestic Leon Kennedy Headcannon

He comes home at 3:12 AM after a mission that took three days and also his will to live.

He doesn’t turn on the lights or announce himself, he just heads to your kitchen in full tac gear and opens the fridge.

He drinks orange juice straight from the carton like the raw vitamin C will somehow fix all the cuts, bruises, and trauma.

You walk in half-asleep, flicking on the light with an audible click.

He goes completely still, like a raccoon you’ve just caught in your kitchen. He's too tired, too committed, and obviously considering whether freezing counts as a survival strategy.

He pauses.

You pause.

Then he nods once like this is a completely normal household interaction, tips the juice back, and finishes the carton.

He tries to shoot it into the open trash can.

Misses.

Shuffles across the kitchen, picks it up, and gently places it in the trash can.

you just blink at him.

"they trust you to save the world?" you ask.

"I can't believe it either," he says and turns the light off. "Dead tired. Let's go to bed."

[requiem01r]

[i-am-a-fish]

every time you make art of any kind, a stat that is not visible to the player goes up. also, this is the most important stat in the game

[ledogeishere]

does singing in the shower count as art

[i-am-a-fish]

does a strong as fuck ice mummy have ice powers

[the-quietestmela]

does writing fanfiction count as art

[i-am-a-fish]

don't make me say the mummy thing again

[bigandlong]

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

[elementalwriter67]

I’m now obsessed with Leon S Kennedy because of Resident Evil 9. All I can think about is the fact that I really like the idea of Leon’s wife being a technical analyst for the DSO and the two of them having a relationship at work like Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan from Criminal Minds.

The idea for this was mainly inspired by the ending of Season 4 Episode 1 where Morgan tells Penelope that she is his god given blessing after nearly getting blown up and asking her to promise to not stop talking to him no matter what happens. And her replying with “I can’t right now I’m mad at you” only for Morgan to say “I’ll wait.” I can just so see Leon doing this with his wife especially in the early stages of their relationship after a particularly dangerous mission.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Toddler accidentally cursed himself into an identity crisis today.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

He’s been crossing stuff out with chalk. He asked me to write his name for him, crossed it out, and had a panicked meltdown because he thought it meant he didn’t exist any more.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Every hour or so he asks me “am I [his name?]” and wants reassuring hugs.

[headspace-hotel]

I’m enjoying the implication that he was perfectly delighted with arbitrarily erasing things from existence until it affected him personally

[catgirlcaliphate]

That’s just how toddlers are.