Elihu's Tumblr

Name's Elihu

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

Dear Facebook, my husband spurted 3 big jets of his hot daddy cum into my fertile womb and, well, you know what happens then ;)

[halfremembereddreamgirl-deactiv]

The classiest way to let your friends and family know that your husband is a three pump chump. So blessed.

[play-now-my-lord]

ME: hold up. you see that? train's been through here FRIEND: how can you tell ME: tracks. they're not fresh, maybe 60, 80 years old FRIEND: no chance it'll come back, then ME: don't be so sure. That's well within their lifespan... and they're highly territorial

[altrnvte]

my fellow queers. happy pride month. Past 2 years ive made pride headers for diff flags but i didnt have time this year (due to recent news) so i made one big flag à la NASA. Tried to cover most destinations in D2!

[birbliophile]

made a thing.

[ntrider]

noncon friendship

[sonyvegas9-deactivated20241118]

Coworkers

[ryukisgod]

Your friend’s boyfriend

[mariacallous]

[fatmasc]

Sometimes ur fat bc u were born that way. Ur parents are fat, ur cousins are fat, u always have been fat.

And sometimes, you become fat. Something happened (puberty, change in diet, change in ability, anything) and someone who was once skinny is now fat. This doesnt make you a failure. It just means ur fat now. Its okay. You didnt do something wrong.

No matter how you are fat, its okay to be fat

[dotty-literati]

the big mamdani

[dotty-literati]

[victusinveritas]

He's prostrating himself before the Eucharist, in case you're wondering. Or possibly planking.

[vvatchword]

@apocrypals

[apocrypals]

Hi, pope expert here. This isn’t funny — popes only do this when they’re in extreme distress

[rainathrownaway]

We're all in extreme distress, he's not special.

[kropotkindersurprise]

you know how it is

[kropotkindersurprise]

it's chew on her fin chewsday

[liirker-at-thresholds]

I really like how the scientology speedrunning trend is developing, in this clip we see that the participants are

Not deterred by the closed door

Working as a group

Protecting their identities

Inflicting material costs to the institution via property destruction

Getting away at the end

These ideas were not all here from the beginning. They are genuinely gaining experience that can be applied elsewhere

[liirker-at-thresholds]

The church of scientology is on tumblr and they are sending me anon asks telling me that they can't even commit to reporting a post

[tieflingkisser]

[just-call-me-zinnia]

I cannot stress enough how this is

A. Not a new feature, Windows has had this since at least 2018.

B. Does not apply to most people because it only works when you use the on-screen keyboard.

and

C. Is literally just the autocorrect and predictive text you already have on your phone and have had since the beginning.

I made a post about this and everything.

[cartoon-fanaticism]

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face

[tieflingkisser]

[thestateonmtv]

So with voting do you cum when a person get bitten into or when a person is swallowed or does it depend on the moment

[beachdeath]

usually you just mark a ballot with a pen or you select the candidate you want on a screen. sometimes you hole punch the ballot though

[partlysmith]

[irl-donut]

puppy is baking a cake!