Trying

life: vitality, vigour, or energy.

[depression-and-literature-deact]

Do you understand mother? Do you understand yet? Do you understand that you are not the only one suffering in this situation. You are not the one who has been diagnosed with anorexia.

[kingofheaddemons]

[kingofheaddemons]

[kingofheaddemons]

[softchubbypuppy]

[eliminated]

[ellacolette]

Please can my appointment with my psychiatrist to sort out my meds on Friday help.

Last time I seen a psychiatrist he prescribed me meds to stop me physically being sick (an anti-depressant with antisickness effects) which didn’t help my symptoms at all. If anything not being able to vomit made me feel even worse.

In addition not medicating my BPD has left me spiralling and feeling hopeless.

Don’t want to rely on meds but after speaking to so many others like me I know that there’s medication that can help; I’ve just had quack doctors 😂😂

[ellacolette]

Went to the gym last night after a terrible attempt at wallpapering. Patterned wallpaper is hella stressful.

Never took any photos or videos cause it was so busy and I could hardly move never mind set up a recording so here’s a photo of jasper instead which I’m sure everyone would rather see anyway; wee sexy.

[75lbs]

[ellacolette]

😳

[ellacolette]

Today is a good day! Whaaaaat?!

Feel amazing, woke up with motivation and done something with it

Been shopping and got so much shit for my new flat and I’m so in love, can’t wait to get it all started and to show off all the progress

Got a dinner date with an old friend later which I’m super buzzed for

Want to goto the gym but pencilled it in for tomorrow, just hoping I feel this good tomorrow too 🤞🏼

Got a food diary to try and normalise eating a little more, or even just regulate my eating cause as with everything I’m all or nothing. Eat everything in the cupboards or nothing at all. Hoping with a little more structure I’ll be able to put less thought into eating and it’ll become ‘healthier’?

[whitefireprincess]

[saadsaiyyed]

[ellacolette]

So fucked my laptop in a bpd rage after my mouse fell in my coffee this morning.

Thankfully it still works and for the mouse I’ve managed to reassigne actions to side bar buttons for dodgy keys while playing WOW.

All could’ve been avoided with better coping mechanisms but shit that’s life and I’m not a walking advert for DBT or mindfulness.

[ellacolette]

Having a bath makes everything feel better. Washing away my worries.

Feat Jasper and my next project aka horrible bathroom walls

[inconclusionkillme]

Remember…

That cookie you’re about to eat, first think what’s gonna happen afterwards. How are you gonna feel. Didn’t you say you wanted to be thinner? Didn’t you say you’re gonna lose this weight? So this cookie will taste good for one second, so try to ask yourself is that one second really more worth then getting to your goal and be proud of yourself for MUCH more time? If you want to eat that cookie now go on. Go on and ruin it again. But don’t you feel bad for your future self? If you REALLY  want to eat that cookie and hate yourself more… go on… Just remember you were warned so don’t you dare to cry and pitty yourself afterwards cause YOU did it to YOURSELF!

[frailx0]

Idk why I’m mad about losing only 0.3 lbs even tho I tried my best yesterday and I’ve been doing my best for a week too, but my body is just refusing to go down! Well, progress is better than nothing I guess.. -3-

[littleluni]

Please stay safe lovelies! 💖

[daintywaist-e]

another reason to lose weight: so when I'm getting dressed I dont have to spend five minutes pulling and adjusting everything around the fat on my body to feel comfortable, I can just pull something on and it just slides smoothly into place