Nerdiness with a chance of murder

[infernalentity]

Today is the only day you can share this meme. Precisely 2000 years prior to March 6th 4017. The day Squidward trapped himself in the freezer. March 6th 2017.

[senseitive]

my whole life is just “oh ok”

[okaytrue]

*comes across a slight inconvenience* me: you know what would solve this ????? death

[skygemspeaks]

Soulmate au - in which Viktor is hurting, and Yuuri intentionally becomes the playboy.

At the tender age of 4, Viktor Nikiforov falls out of love with the notion of soulmates.

Because if soulmates were really as perfect as everyone liked to say they were, then his dad would be gentle and kind and loving, and his mother wouldn’t have to spend her night stifling her sobs, and crooning apologies into Viktor’s ear.

So when Viktor starts figure skating competitively, he pours his heart and soul into it. And when the sponsors start pouring in and he’s making a living, he asks his mother with lips trembling and eyes wide if they can just. Leave.

At 16, Viktor boldly displays his soulmark for all to see. It’s a lot bigger than most and absolutely gorgeous - a pair of pure white wings folded neatly on his back, so bright they seem to be glowing and so detailed they seem almost real. His costumes take full advantage of the mark, every twitch of his muscles, every arch of his back making it look as if they’re about to unfold any second now, every jump sending him soaring into the air.

But being so open about one’s soulmark leaves one open to manipulation.

It’s approximately three months after Viktor’s first JGPF gold that a fan approaches him outside his home rink, turning to show him her back.

Viktor looks at the tattoo of glowing white wings folded neatly across her back, smiles distantly at her, and says, “That’s nice.”

Then he turns and walks away, leaving her sputtering in confusion and anger.

After the first few fake soulmarks, people seem to realize that beyond the presentation factor, Viktor doesn’t actually seem to really care about his mark, or about finding his soulmate.

And so, at 12, Katsuki Yuri has no illusions about meeting Viktor, about showing him his soulmark and crying and laughing, about finally, finally, having someone that’s perfect for him, someone that will love him and cherish him no matter how messed up he is.

Yuuri is still very much in love with the notion of soulmates - he wants what his parents have. But if that’s not what Viktor then he supposes he’ll just have to prove to Viktor in another way that he deserves to be in his life.

Whether as a fellow skater, a friend, or even a lover. However Viktor will have him.

So he skates and he skates and he skates.

And at the age of 17, he’s at the top of the junior figure skating world.

He keeps his soulmark a careful secret though - not that he’s ashamed of it or anything. But it’s not the right time yet to let it show. 

Viktor has always loved surprises after all.

Phichit knows about it of course - he’d screamed the first time he’d seen it, and hadn’t once doubted it was real. Because as much of a super fan as Yuuri is, he’d never stoop to such a low as getting a fake soulmark tattoo of his favourite skater.

Yuuri is careful over the years, building a slow friendship with Viktor, seducing him sweetly with his quiet smiles and earnest dedication to his sport.

Yuuri is 21 when he finally decides it’s time.

He’s competed in the senior GPF three times by now, and medalled every time.

He knows he can get gold this year.

He tells Celestino about his plan and gets a resounding approval.

When he steps out onto the ice for his Free Skate at the Finals, there are murmurs of confusion sweeping across the stadium as the audience notices his change in costume.

A pretty blue thing inspired heavily by Viktor’s costume at the JGPF all those years ago.

The murmurs grow to fever pitch as he skates to the middle of the rink, and people start to notice.

The gorgeous white wings folded neatly across his back.

He takes up his starting pose. Smirks seductively in the vague direction he knows Viktor is watching from.

And he skates.

The cheers are deafening after his performance.

He doesn’t get to talk to Viktor until later.

They’re on the podium, Yuuri standing in the middle, beaming out at the line of cameras ahead of him.

He feels the ghost of fingers across the small of his back.

Then pale, slender fingers wrapping around his gold medal.

A gentle tug towards the silver medalist.

A chaste kiss on the lips.

The crowd is deafening.

A mischievous smile.

Fingers threading through silky silver locks.

Together at last.

[ellie-nightshade]

*Nosebleed*

[ellie-nightshade]

Me @ age seven: *Cries about not hugging parents goodnight one time*

Me 20016: *Goes days without speaking to parents at all, never hugs anyone, does not cry*

[ellie-nightshade]

Girls, if anyone tries to remove or rip or adjust your clothes, whether it's a short skirt, a comfy blouse, a hijab, or anything else, without your permission, please punch them in the face. Nothing gives anyone the right to fuck with YOUR clothes, that belong to YOU, without YOUR permission.

[ellie-nightshade]

Maybe if men are so disgusted by leg hair, they should shave their own instead of pestering women about getting rid of theirs.

[ellie-nightshade]

Can somebody who doesn’t watch AmandasChronicles try and explain what’s happening here?

[blvnk-art]

Teddy Lupin

[mariaalenkoshepard]

Okay but I kinda wanna read a fanfic where Andromeda dies and Harry and Draco end up in a custody battle over Teddy

“He’s MY cousin, Potter!”

“I’m his GODFATHER, Malfoy!”

Until eventually they just decide fuck it, we both live alone, might as well just move in together and both raise Teddy and worry about splitting custody later

And of course they start acting like a total married couple

“What time do you call this, Potter? Dinner was ready an hour ago!”

“Bloody hell, Malfoy, I literally just walked through the door. Give me a chance to take my coat off before you start moaning”

[maraunerdsmap]

Okay but hear me out

Professor Mcgonagall and Teddy Lupin

Harry, Ginny, Hermione, Ron and basically everyone being super busy one day so there’s no one to take care of 2 year old Teddy. ”All right Potter,” Mcgonagall says, popping up in the middle of his living room. “I will watch over him. Go and do whatever you have to do.” Teddy Lupin sitting in the Headmistress’ office, crying because he misses Harry and Ginny. Mcgonagall transforming into a cat to comfort the boy. By the time Harry comes to pick him up, he’s curled up next to Mcgonagall, fast asleep.  After that, whenever the Potters are busy, Harry sends Teddy to “Aunt Micky” to play Mcgonagall practically beaming as an eleven year old Teddy Lupin is called up to be sorted by the Sorting Hat. An eleven year old Teddy Lupin watching his Aunty Micky in awe as she addresses the entire student body. Teddy Lupin popping into the headmistress’ office because he feels like he’s failing potions. Mcgonagall calling up Professor Longbottom to her office and the three of them having tea together. Neville comforting Teddy and explaining that he himself was never good at Potions and it would take some practice, but he would get it eventually. A fourteen year old Teddy Lupin being sent into the headmistress’ office for hexing a Ravenclaw boy who was insulting Bill Weasley. “But professor, he had it coming of course. He was saying all those horrible things directly to Victoire’s face. Of course I had to do something.” Mcgonagall taking 20 points from Hufflepuff, but letting him off with a warning. “And please, fix Mr. Flint’s face as well. It would do no good for him to walk the grounds looking like that.” Mcgonagall warning all students with a special announcement at dinner that no one was to leave the castle because of some unknown dangers lurking in the Forbidden Forest.  Sixteen year old Teddy Lupin sneaking into the Forbidden Forest past curfew with a couple of Slytherin and Gryffindor friends. Teddy Lupin being hauled by Filch to the headmistress’ office at 2 in the morning. Teddy Lupin standing in front of the headmistress’ desk, his head hung slightly as his friends tried to come up with excuses.  Teddy standing with his arms folded over his chest, his eyes focused on the floor, refusing to meet her gaze. Mcgonagall ushering the other students out of her office, then taking a seat at her desk. Mcgonagall waiting for Teddy to sit down by himself. Teddy Lupin feeling like the worst person ever for betraying his Aunt Micky like that. Teddy Lupin opening his mouth to form some sort of apology but is interrupted. “What you have done tonight reminds me of a group of students that attended Hogwarts years ago.” Teddy looking up at her for the first time all night. He did not expect her to say anything like that. “Yes, these four students seemed to get into trouble every single day. It is quite possible that they hold the record for the most detentions in a single year.” Teddy Lupin not understanding why she’s telling him this. Minerva Mcgonagall looking at him with a piercing gaze before continuing. “Despite all of this trouble, these four boys were absolutely amazing. They were amazing wizards, far more talented than most of the students in their year. And I loved them as if they were my own sons.” “Professor I still don’t–” “Would you like to see what kinds of trouble they would get into?”  “I don’t understand Professor.” Mcgonagall taking a deep breath before answering. “I trust Potter has shown you his memories of your father.” Teddy Lupin nodding slowly, still unsure as to what was happening. Minerva Mcgonagall bringing Teddy Lupin to the Pensieve and showing him, for the first time, who Remus Lupin truly was.  Harry Potter knew the Remus who had been hurt and affected by the First War. He knew all of the pain and suffering that was felt during this time. Minerva McGonagall knew the Remus Lupin before the war. She watched the social outcast find a family. She watched him grow. She saw him let his walls down and become more carefree. She stood by as he broke the rules and learned from his mistakes. She knew the real Remus Lupin.  Teddy Lupin not being able to handle all of the memories at once. Teddy Lupin coming back three times a week to learn new things about his father, and even a few about his mother.  Teddy Lupin, for the first time ever, truly understanding the sacrifice his father made so that he could live in a better world. 

[hpfannons]

Teddy Lupin’s hair was always Bubblegum Pink

From the first time Teddy ever saw a color photo of his mom, he’d kept it that way. For the first couple of months after that, his whole head looked like he’d stuck it in a cotton candy machine. Some people tried to say something about it (mostly muggles who couldn’t believe someone would let their seven year old do that with their hair), Harry and Ginny ‘politely’ ignored them. Even after he started experimenting with different colors to find something he liked and that felt like him, there was always some part of his hair (roots, tips, one whole half of his head, or even just a single little strip somewhere only really he knew about) that stayed bright pink in his mother’s memory.

(McGonagall nearly broke down in tears his seventh year when Teddy walked in sporting light brown hair. The only way you could tell it wasn’t Remus was the random bits of pink streaked everywhere.)

[hunnybunchesofgoats]

“Do you know what it’s like to be named for the dead?” James asks his father in the middle of one of many arguments. “Do I remind you of a man we’ve never met? Am I in honor of someone you watched die? Because I don’t want it.” When James Sirius Potter looks at himself in the mirror, he sees a mess of reddish brown curls and slightly askew glasses and freckles everywhere. He sees hands that climb trees and grip tightly to broomsticks. He sees his mother’s smile and hears his father’s voice. Because James seems like the thick goofball of the family, but he reads history book after history book, wishing to never repeat the sins of their fathers. If he saw any of James Potter he wouldn’t recognize him at all, and maybe, he fears, that’s where he falls short.

“Do you know what it’s like to be named for the dead,” Albus says one day to Rose as they sit by the Great Lake. “Names of men who I think aren’t the heroes I’ve been told about. Men I’m told are brave but seem just as bad as the rest.” Albus Severus Potter loves being called Al and having his hair ruffled by his friends. He loves sitting on high ledges and looking out at the vast sky and thinking about what is on the other side of the earth. Albus Potter sticks his nose in old books and keeps to himself and has no desire for greatness in any form. He doesn’t want to lead a war or be a spy. He wants to be Al and bake with his grandmother on Sundays and give his sister piggyback rides. And, most days, that feels like admitting failure. 

“Do you know what it’s like to be named for the dead,” Lily shouts one day with tears in her eyes. “I’m not her, I’m not her, I’m not her,” she repeats over and over again. Because Lily Luna Potter is a Slytherin and brutal and fierce and full of fire and made of stone. She is not soft and kind - she is not the woman who saved her child from death. Because she can be selfish and harsh and unforgiving. She spends her mornings running through the icy, frozen woods and her nights leaning over windowsills because the rush is just right.  Lily Potter will fight to the death, but for no one but herself. And does that make her somehow distorted, she wonders as she flips through photo after photo of a young woman with pretty eyes she doesn’t have and gentle hands that she will never understand. 

“Do you know what it’s like to be named for the dead?” Fred chokes through sobs as he rushes past his mother. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to be named for someone who haunts us every day and every night? Can you imagine being named for someone you can never look like because of your skin?” Because Fred Weasley ties up his wild dark hair into a thick ponytail when it’s time to play Quidditch and sees deep brown eyes when he looks at his reflection. Because Fred is dark skinned like his mother and will never look like his namesake, and is he resented for that? Is it worse to look like the brother that his father lost or to not resemble someone he loved at all? Because, most days, Fred is already different than the rest of his cousins and friends. Fred loves to laugh and play the highest caliber of pranks, because Fred is a Weasley…but that is something that no one can physically see, and that’s what’s the most terrifying. 

“I know what it’s like to be named for the dead,” Teddy tells them all at some point, his hands on their shoulders or pulling them into a tight hug. “I know what it’s like to remind the person you love of all who they’ve lost. How much it hurts.” Because Teddy Lupin is named for a man who was killed alone and frightened in the woods over twenty years ago. He is his mother when he decides he likes the color pink and his father when his eyes morph into an almond amber. Because he is an orphan and no different from Harry…and he can understand how their father feels, because he wishes to honor those who died for him, too. Because he knows he is nothing like Ted Tonks, and yet his name carries a piece of his grandfather with him and that’s why Grandmother can only call him “Teddy,” otherwise she’d burst into tears. Because Teddy Lupin lives in between Harry and George and their children - born into war and only knowing peace. And so Teddy understands exactly what it is to be named for the dead, and knows exactly why it is so important to do so. 

And even as he tries to tell them all this, he feels hot tears running down his cheeks and wonders to his parents, who have never been there, “Do you know what it is to be named for the dead?” 

[ellie-nightshade]

FUCKING FEELS RIGHT HERE. 

[vampiratecore]

OKAY but what if Teddy tells Harry he doesn’t want kids And Harry’s like “what Teddy no please no” and everyone is like ???what And then Harry just goes “i didn’t call my second son Remus only bc i thought you’ll want to call your son like that you ruined everything i could have named him Remus instead of Albus Severus jesus christ hermione where’s the time turner”

[sunnydaysseemfaraway]

[ellie-nightshade]

Why did they make this website? Like, did you really think it was going to end well?

[ellie-nightshade]

If a homophobic Time Lord gets married, and their spouse regenerates into the same sex, what do they do??? Kill them until they change back??? Learn that homophobia is pointless and wrong???