love who you are

trans // gay // mid-30's  // avoiding discourse but in the middle // he/him

[basementtreasure]

been thinking about appearances and stuff

[millennialsargueback]

[hugealienpie]

Another popular one, especially in wealthier families, was that your son would “move to Europe,” and then a few months later your “niece” would move into town and live in his old bedroom.

Trans isn’t new. We just have to know how to look for it in history.

[socialistexan]

Just as a reminder: the reason we don’t see a lot of trans history is because it was actively erased. Literally.

Germany had a thriving LGBTQ community in the early 20th century, before the Nazis came around. Germans, specifically Magus Hirshfeld, literally coined the term “transsexual” and performed the first modern SRS in the 1920’s. Then the Nazis came and sent them all to camps and burned their books. One of the first major Nazi book burnings was the library of the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft. We were purposefully erased from history.

We’ve always existed, and the people that oppose our existence need to know who they’re in company with.

[almostmaddening]

FtMs: Look I don’t care at all that you don’t want to have sex with me and don’t feel attracted to me, please just leave me alone and stop making me feel dysphoric on purpose thx

TERFS/TEHMS: so what you’re saying is that gay men should be forced to have sex with you? Is that what you’re saying? I’m sorry sweaty but the gays don’t want to see your girly girl parts, life isn’t like your fujoshi cartoons ;) you will never be a real man, I will shit fury all over you and you will

[rightaboutit]

What taking testosterone will change: 

- how much body hair you’ll naturally grow (hint: a whole lot more)

- your muscle mass. you’ll gain muscle taking T, especially in the shoulders and you’ll lose body fat in the hips. it’s different to everyone how the body fat is redistributed but taking T is the best time to get in an exercise routine because you’ll gain muscle a lot faster. 

- your clit might get bigger within like the first two weeks. get ready for that because I wasn’t

- you could get mood swings when you first start because it’s Puberty: The Sequel

- within 3 months you’ll notice your voice begin to drop

-hunger and hot flashes. Hunger and Hot Flashes

- you may notice that a lot of anxiety is going away! that’s because testosterone (may possibly, this one is just my experience) can help mellow you out, and also some aspects of your dysphoria (high pitched voice, periods) are going away

What taking testosterone WON’T change:

-your aggression. you are not going to turn into some out-of-control rage beast. if you are, then you probably need to talk to your doctor about it. T can give you mood swings because of, like I said, you are going through puberty again, but it’s not going to make you an angry person. 

-your personality. i say this all the time, but deciding to transition does not equal deciding to be a brand new person. you are still you! in fact, transition means that you are becoming more you than ever! adding testosterone to your body is just something that you decided you’ve been missing to help you grow into the great person that you are!

-your overall health. of course, there are concerns when taking a new hormone, but if you look at the health risks, it’s mostly risks that cisgender men typically have. Increased heart issues? That’s a cisman thing. And the increased risk for problems in your ovaries/uterus? I mean, yeah, people who naturally produce the levels of testosterone that we are going for usually don’t have ovaries. So that one makes sense, you know?

Moral of the story is we need to stop scaring people who are taking hormones! Yes, it’s a big step and an important decision, but it’s has nothing to do with changing who you are on the inside. In the end, you are still who you are, just with a few different features! 

The stereotype that transgender men are sweet, soft boys before T and then afterwards are hairy, aggressive men is problematic and very tiring. 

EDIT: Since this has blown up, I want to say that the physical aspects are definitely based off my own experiences and what the given medical pamphlets say. Testosterone affects everyone differently! Each person will have variations and their own specialized journey!

[teeglass]

If tumblr porn bots can use my correct pronouns, so could you.

[klaw]

yanno how every january everyone writes the wrong year for a while ?? that’s like how it is when u come out as trans and still misgender or deadname yourself. you’re not faking it, u just gotta get used to the change just like we all do every january.

[queenofthyme]

a wholesome post

[nitrosplicer]

So I just heard about “Primed: The Back Pocket Guide for Trans Men and the Men Who Dig Them.” It’s the first sexual health resource written by and for gay, bi and queer trans men/ transmasculine people, put out by Rainbow Health Ontario, and it’s a very frank guide that answers basically any questions you might have about safer sex. They’ve released it for free download here.

[officialcisblog]

This is extremely important. I mean, extremely important.

[spencersunboy]

So I’ve had a bunch of people ask me how I cover my top surgery scars, so here’s how I do it!

It’s just a yellow color corrector (I don’t know the brand name of this one), powder, and my usual face foundation

[trans-i-am]

Just a little demonstration I made displaying the average changes on T. The timeline runs by months (0,2,4,6…etc.). This is just estimated and is not to be used as an exact guide for changes, some people may have some of these changes faster or slower than others and on some occasions, you may not even get some of these changes. This does not represent all changes nor does it represent emotional or mental changes.

0 months= Pre-T no changes

2 Months= Slight thickening of facial hair and deepening of voice

4 Months= Slightly more facial hair that is a little more noticeable

6 Months= More noticeable body hair and acne as you become greasier

8 Months= More acne and thickening of pre-existing body hair like eyebrows

10 Months= More/thicker/longer body hair thinning of face noticeable

12 Months= Thickening of neck and waist/ loss of ‘curves’

14 Months= Much noticeably deeper voice and body hair present

16 Months= Acne at full and new hair has become coarser, body becomes more angular

18 Months= Acne may begin to lessen and body hair will fill in

20 Months= Continued filling of body hair and skin clears up

22+ Months= At this point changes have slowed and you will not see very much of a difference after this point. You will continue to get hair growth and possible hair loss. In general you have completed your second (or possibly first) puberty. 

Other such changes not mentioned are thinning of skin, fat loss, muscle growth, weight gain, change in hairline, more noticeable surface veins of arms and legs, lessening of breast and leg fat, gaining stomach fat, possible slight height change or change in shoe size, heightened energy, better quality of sleep, stabilization of thoughts and emotions, possible increased irritability and aggression,  mildly desensitized nerves, possible change in vision, changes in metabolism, changes in taste buds, possible loss of ability to wear a binder for a long time due to changing body shape, possible changes in libido, possible changes in wants and desires (i.e. attraction to others, hobbies, interest in affection, etc.)

Just a reminder that this is not necessarily the exact experience of everyone who begins testosterone and is intended only as a reference!

I hope this was helpful as a guide for what to expect! If you have any questions or would like clarification on anything, feel free to send a message or an ask and I would be happy to explain! 

[genderqueerpositivity]

(Image description: four square images of the blue and green gay man pride flag with green text in white boxes, all together the text reads: "Gay trans men are an important part of the gay community. Gay trans men are an important part of gay history. The future of the gay community is radically inclusive. Trans men are real men and all gay trans men are valid.")

(Requested by @sidneyia, inspired by this trans lesbian positivity post.)

[my-gender-is]

My gender is none gender left boy

[skinmousedarchive]

this is a strong contender for the funniest post i have ever seen in my life

[unknought]

reminder that if you’re questioning your gender, “what do I want?” and “what will make me happy?” tend to be much more useful questions than “what am I, really?”

[mioxenoblade]

“I’ve always wanted to be trans”

If you’ve ever uttered this phrase in your life, then you’re probably not cis. You can like, just be trans ya know. It’s that easy.

[mioxenoblade]

Bringing this back because I’ve recently seen some people’s stories about before finding out they were trans thinking things like “I wished I was trans so I could be a girl” and stuff like that.

If you want to be a girl, you simply can!

If you want to be a boy, you simply can!

if you want to be neither, somewhere in between, or whatever other idea you can think of - you legitimately can be. 

If you’ve ever wished you were trans, then just be trans. It’s as simple as that.

[mioxenoblade]

Don’t beat yourself up just because your life didn’t go the way other trans people’s did. You discovered yourself later? That’s ok. You didn’t show the “signs” as a kid? No big deal, most really don’t seem to. Your story doesn’t match the stereotypes we see in stories? Media exaggerates and uses stereotypes.

Your life is your own journey. It’s unique and one of a kind, as are you. You’re still valid. You’re still trans. You’re still awesome.

[whitneymuseum]

Today is World AIDS Day/Day With(out) Art. During the 1980s and 1990s, AIDS and complications from it killed nearly half a million people in the U.S., a disproportionate number of them gay men and people of color. The artist community lost thousands; still more friends, lovers, and family members faced lives transformed by grief, fear, indignation, and illness. Many artists made activist work that criticized government inaction, promoted awareness and treatment, and expressed support for people fighting and living with the virus. Here are two of those works from the Whitney’s collection, on view now in An Incomplete History of Protest

[tmitransitioning]

Hi, you mentioned weeding out people who might have transition regret. Well, unfortunately that this a thing, albeit rare and understanding is still new. This rare is something that should be minimised. And there is a reason that HRT is controlled otherwise let people get them otc like cough medicine. If that happened there would be a lot of issues. Surgery is even more serious, you don't just get it if you want.

I mentioned transition regret in the context of “some cis people increase waiting time to access services in the mistaken belief that it decreases transition regret”- it’s true that did mention that.  There is no evidence that this is accurate- indeed, trans folks are better educated about our care (we often have to train our providers) and have researched it well before we present for care, and our rates of regret are much lower than for those who undergo other irreversible types of care (like plastic surgery).  You’re right that transition regret is a real and rare thing- this blog has not shied away from the discussion of de-transitioning/untransition or transition regret here in the past.  It’s important that we recognize that it’s both rare (less than 0.5% to 3% depending on which studies you look at) and that it’s most generally caused by social stigma.  If i transition but then I learn that my family has rejected me; I’m unable to find a job; I have nowhere to live and i can only sometimes afford HRT- it’s likely that I may choose to live a life that doesn’t reflect who i really am in order to put a roof over my head and food in my stomach.  It’s also why more than 60% of those who choose to untransition go back later and re-transition to live as their true selves.Some of the studies that report high rates (2-3%) of regret accept “disappointment” over surgical outcomes as regret- even when the respondents report they WOULD have the surgery again. (for example, if the result isn’t as cosmetically attractive as they had liked, it’s not as functional as they had hoped, it’s reported as “regret” even if the patient says they would do it all over again).     When you speak of understanding about regret being new- it’s not.  We’ve been studying it essentially as long as we’ve been doing transition surgeries.  While the language changes over time, one of the underlying themes is that social support/ability to live and be accepted in the true gender is key to decreasing regret.  increasing timeline to transition doesn’t change that.  

(some of these links may be behind a paywall, i have access through my school. let me know if you have trouble accessing them- i downloaded most of them)

mod mayhem