Ive come up with the phrase "blorbo-in-law" which is a fictional character who isn't, like, YOUR blorbo from YOUR shows but it is your mutual's blorbo who you nevertheless have developed strong opinions about due to long term dash exposure
The next Tumblr addition should be the ability to set traps for mutuals. Like you mark a post as being a trap for so-and-so, and when they reblog they get a little pop up of a box propped up with a stick falling and the words "Haha! @phaeton-flier knew you would reblog that!"
beating breath of the wild in under 40 minutes is an incredible feat and also fucking excellent in the context of the game. ganon spends 100 fucking years preparing this onslaught, building energy, getting ready to tear the world apart, and one elf twink wakes up butt-ass naked in a cave and legs it to the castle and kicks ganonâs ass apart in under an hour with a sword he found along the way
The current record is 27.5 minutes. Knowing that speedrunners skip the Great Plateau tower, this means that they donât get the cutscene where Ganon and his Guardians awake until they reach Hyrule Castle. Ganon doesnât even know Link is awake until Link is at his doorstep, which is about 16:50 into the run.
Less than three minutes later, Link kills the first of Ganonâs Blights with a single arrow and swiftly takes down the next three. Within five minutes of Ganon being face to face with his arch nemesis, he is killed.
Ganon had a total of 10 minutes and 40 seconds to stop Link.
Just screeching obscenities as he sprints barefoot across a field of killer robots
Ganon fucking wishes. Link comes flying in on a paraglider at like 80 mph just because he jumped off a bokoblinâs head. I can only imagine Link screaming âFUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUâ all the way (about 50 seconds in the run but 30 seconds without lag)
Day 2 in the Middle School Time Loop: you remember that last time, everyone ignored you at recess because they were talking about a TV show that you hadnât watched. This time, you lie and say youâve seen it. They ask you who your favorite character is, and you donât know any of the characters, and so youâre tongue-tied. They think youâre weirder than ever, or maybe a liar, which is worse (and true).
Day 3 in the Middle School Time Loop: you tell your parents that you feel ill. They let you stay home while theyâre at work. You spend the whole day watching past episodes of the TV Show.
Day 4 in the Middle School Time Loop: Recess again. The same person asks you who your favorite character is. This time, you're ready. You eagerly tell them, and supplement your reasons for liking them with solid evidence from all 4 seasons of the show. But! Tough luck: youâre now too invested. The atmosphere turns uncomfortable. They go back to ignoring you like they did on the Day 1 that you didnât know was Day 1.
Day 5 in the Middle School Time Loop:
You decide to try a different approach and update your style. You've noticed that Ashleigh, whoâs blonde and constantly surrounded by friends, always wears pink stripey sneakers. You try wearing a pink dress. Someone says itâs cute, but you know from how they say it that it isnât the good cute.
âI thought that pink was cool,â you protest, more to the uncaring universe than to anyone in particular.
Your interlocutor shrugs. âMaybe on someone else.â
Day 6 in the Middle School Time Loop: You keep your head down, but still surprise the teachers by somehow knowing the correct answers to every spontaneous question they throw out to the class. You study the outfits of your classmates more closely. You realize that it wasnât the color, so much as the brand that made the difference. It proves the shoes were expensive. You note down Ashleigh's sneaker brand in smudgy ink on the back of your hand, and then after school you take half a year's saved-up allowance and buy a matching pair at the mall. Your mom raises her eyebrows but doesnât stop you.
Day 7 in the Middle School Time Loop: Today you make it to lunch before anything major goes wrong. You think that the sneakers have protected you, and stare down at them lovingly, watching the Barbie-pink plastic stripes reflect the tube lights on the ceiling as you turn your feet this way and that. But then at lunch, Ashleigh comes up, arm and arm with a friend. Her eyes are a little pink, but only a little.
âAshleigh wanted me to tell you that sheâs really hurt that you copied her sneakers,â the friend informs you, nobly, as if it would be too unpleasant for Ashleigh to have to say this herself. Her mouth is solemn but her eyes are gleeful.
âI didnâtâŠâ You start to deny it automatically, even though itâs true. And yet, something wonât let you apologize. Doesnât she see your imitation for what it is: the most sincere compliment you know how to bestow? This is your Hail Mary.
As you meet her eyes, you realize she does know, but this only makes her despise you more.
âI think a lot of people have these sneakers,â you stammer, in the end, and they just sniff and turn away. You go back to eating your lunch alone.
Day 8 of the Middle School Time Loop: even though you do well in every class, you must be so much more stupid than your classmates, to be missing whatever detail it is that they seem to have caught. How do they do it so quickly? Before recess, before the end of homeroom, even, they all just know. Youâve had endless chances to do this day over and yet you never seem to be able to catch up with them. Running to stand still, youâve heard your mother say, when sheâs busy at work. Thatâs you. Running to stand still.
Day 9 of the Middle School Time Loop: you pretend to be sick again, and you realize that if you want to, you can pretend to be sick every day. It's easy to convince your parents: you look tired and unhappy, your eyes small within their dark circles, like some underground creature. You stop watching that TV Show that you never really wanted to watch in the first place, and instead dream your way through all your favourite childhood movies. Disney, Pixar, Studio Ghibli. You retreat into jewel-colored landscapes, where everyone is magical or beautiful or at least funny, and the heroes always win in the end.
Day 10 of the Middle School Time Loop: You notice that most of the Pixar heroes, the Disney princesses look more like Ashleigh than you. Long hair. Pale eyes. Button noses. And all of them, so thin.
Day 11 of the Middle School Time Loop: you go to school, but you donât talk to anyone. You donât even answer your name at roll call. Your teacher asks you if anything is wrong at school, or at home perhaps. You shake your head, but that evening you hear your father taking a call. You shrug off his worry: itâll be forgotten tomorrow anyway.
Day 12 of the Middle School Time Loop: an unexpected development: your apathy almost seems to make your classmates like you more. When you say, truthfully, that you donât care much for the TV Show that eternally dominates the recess chatter, some people look impressed. They ask you what you think is better. But youâre wise and donât admit to liking anything. "Mysterious," someone says appreciatively.
At the end of recess, the girl who told you off for copying Ashleigh nudges you. âHey. Look, Robert has an Up shirt. Kind of cute, that heâs still into that stuff, right?â
You know that itâs not the good cute.
You stare at her coldly. âThe shirt just has a dog on it. It doesn't say he's from Up. So you must have liked the movie enough to remember him.â
She flushes scarlet, and hurries to catch up with Ashleigh, throwing you a dirty look. Robert glances at you gratefully but you donât return his smile. He wonât remember that you did this for him. Anyway, you didn't, really. Do it for him, that is.
Day 13 of the Middle School Time Loop: You tell your parents youâre sick again. Today, you watch the second tier of Studio Ghibli movies, the ones that your parents always say, self-consciously, that youâll find dull. Only Yesterday, Princess Kaguya, When Marnie Was There. Youâre only a few minutes into Marnie when thereâs a line that pulls you up short:
âIn this world, thereâs an invisible magic circle. Thereâs inside and outside. These people are inside. And Iâm outside.â
The shock of recognition that surges through you is so profound that you almost cry, and then, when the movie's over, you do cry. Ugly sobs that make you sound like a toddler throwing a tantrum at the mall, that make your head pound with a dehydration headache. But behind the tears, there's relief. There it is, the truth that you were searching for, through all these do-overs. Thereâs an invisible magic circle. Of course there is.
But hereâs the thing about circles: the inside is small. The outside is scary, and lonely, but itâs huge: huger than you could ever have imagined before you turned around and looked.
When your dad gets home, he asks if youâre feeling better. âMuch,â you say, and itâs true.
Day ?? of the Middle School Time Loop: Sometimes you go to school, but ditch class and go to the library or the playground and do your own thing even if teachers yell at you. Sometimes you wander around the neighborhood. Sometimes you ask your parents crazy things, like to take you to work with them, or to the beach, or to DisneyWorld. Sometimes they say no. A surprising amount of times, they say yes. You wonder if maybe theyâre trapped in a time loop too.
Sometimes you sit quietly in other classrooms than the one youâre meant to be in, until they shoo you out or even send you to the principal. (He finds you baffling. You feel a deep, slightly mournful affection for him, like you would for an very old and tired dog). Itâs surprising, the amount of different things that are getting taught in one school in one day. It takes you a long time to work your way through them all.
You watch a frog getting dissected a few times before you start to feel bad and donât go back to that classroom again. Your favorite class to crash is art, because the teacher always clocks that youâre not meant to be there but smiles and lets you stay anyway. When you meet her eyes, it feels like youâre sharing a secret.
Day One-Hundred And Something of the Middle School ...Wait.
At some point, time started moving again, and you didnât even realize it.
For so long, the reprimands you received about your future seemed so empty, so laughable. There was no future. Only a more- or less-bearable present. But now, your classmates remember the unhinged things that you do; now, your teachersâ and parentsâ worries about the future have the full juggernaut weight of reality behind them.
You thought that youâd be more terrified. For so long, youâve dreaded this forward momentum. No loading screen, no mini-games, just one single, awful, pulsating life. But things are different now. Timeâs moving again, and here you are, so far outside the invisible magic circle that youâre not even sure that you'd be able to see it any more. You can still feel its power, but faintly, like the pull between two magnets when they're an arm's length apart. Easy to ignore.
âAre you ready?â Robert says, catching your eye over the kitchen table. He comes here first thing so you can get the bus together. At some point, during the time loop, you started to seek him out. He was outside the circle, too, you realized. But even more importantly, not once, on any of those grimly looping days, did you see him try and push someone else out to make a space for himself. In this crab bucket, thatâs something that counts for a lot.
âOur final day of middle school,â he sighs, half to himself. âNever thought Iâd see it.â
"Me either," you reply, getting up to put on your talismanic pink sneakers. Theyâre scuffed and dirty after years of wear, and certainly Ashley would never be caught dead in them these days. Maybe thatâs what you should have told her, all those loops ago: that no imitation, let alone one as unskilled as yours, can ever be perfect, and that indeed the very imperfection renders it an original work in its own right. Time and thought and human care transforms even the most diligent copy into something else entirely.
But youâve been through enough time loops to know that that sort of explanation wouldnât go over very well.
one thing I like to do in FFXIV RP is just have my character be completely wrong about elements of setting or plot. like the Warrior of Light? killed dozens of gods, stormed a castrum, made peace with the dragons? no way that's a real person. nobody can even agree what they look like! probably a propaganda story cooked up by that shady Sharlayan secret society, the Children of the Seventh Sun or whatever they're called. the Eorzeans probably have a horrible secret weapon they don't want anyone to know about, so they invented a made up monster slaying hero. occam's razor.
it's a plot point that not everyone can see moogles, so for a while I had her think moogles definitely aren't real either. I mean, she's never seen one. it's just regular people that deliver the post. the whimsical flying bat-winged rats are made up for children...
Donna should get the Doctor's number and be allowed to call the TARDIS randomly in future episodes for no reason. never aliens. no more aliens for Donna. always just some bullshit like "my mum told me the pink blouse makes me look washed out????" and the Doctor has to be like "girl! she's crazy! but also I'm actively being shot at right now so I will have call you back"
[Image ID: Two screenshots of Tumblr tags, they read:
First Image (written by @/its-the-doctor-bayyybe): âshe calls him up to ask if she can borrow a vcr. When asked why he was asked Donna is like âyou seemed like you would have oneââ
Second Image: âyes absolutely 100% she would also call because she wants takeout and all the delivery places are closedâ END ID]
My friend is trying to name herself, and she's like, "Oh, what's that name that's like marmalade, but it's a name?" and I know she means Adelaide, but I think I can talk her into naming herself Marmalade if I play my cards right here.
Not in a hateful, cruel way, but because my name is Newt, and I think "Newt & Marmalade" sounds like a detective agency that solves mysteries for tiny garden critters.
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