I need you guys to walk with me and understand that Ilya and Shane's first fuck as a married couple takes place on the edge of Ilya's bed ("Our bed, Hollander, our marital bed--" "Jesus fucking Christ Ilya--") while Usher Yeah! plays at bone-melting volume from the backyard and guys from three different hockey teams yell the lyrics even louder. Shane realizes that Ilya is inadvertently thrusting to the beat and for one very brilliant second it is the hottest thing ever. The mood is genuinely almost ruined when the song switches to Sweet Caroline. Harris should never be allowed to DJ again.
"SWEET CAROLINE. BUM BUM BUM." - Eleven highly inebriated hockey players and David Hollander, who's having great memories of his own wedding where they played the same song.
"Good times never seemed so good..." - Ilya Rozanov, whisper-singing to himself and completely unaware of it as he rails his husband into next Tuesday.
"Why is this hot. Oh my god why is this hot." - Shane Hollander, who at the age of thirty is still discovering things about himself.
thinking about shane and ilya at the cottage and kisses being pressed into sunwarm skin and ilya making it his mission to count and memorize every single one of shane's new summer freckles and shane just lays there in the sun letting ilya press first his finger and then his lips into each and every freckle he can find and there are so many shane thousands probably we can never leave the cottage we must stay here forever and shane hums happily thinks i love you and then says it out loud because he can because he means it because he'll never grow tired of the way ilya looks at him when he says it and then ilya's pressing a soft kiss against the corner of shane's mouth his jaw gently biting into his neck before whispering i love you too into the tender skin there his mission to count shane's freckles long forgotten (for now) and shane turns his head until he finds ilya's lips kisses him until they're both breathless with it thinks i would spend the rest of eternity in this moment if it meant i could spend it with you
I love when staff posts about new updates because it serves as not an explanation on how to use a new feature, but instead an explanation for where to go to turn the feature off 😌
To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.
the most essential part of a fandom are those people who immediately tell you to write it, draw it, make it when you share your ideas, you have no idea how many fanworks are born just because someone encouraged it
Put in the tags the completely finished (whether cancelled or wrapped up on its own terms) TV series that has YOUR perfect ending, however you define that
Please don’t include huge spoilers for the specifics of the endings, and it would also make me happy if people don’t use this to talk about the shows whose endings they hated
"The sex tells the story, so it never felt gratuitous to me. The sex is character development. The sex is what is moving this relationship forward, and watching it change over time."
ilya is a formula 1 driver and shane is his race engineer
he only listens to you.
well. i’m the only voice in his ear.
shane is 1-2 years older than ilya. they've been racing against each other in karting since they were little, formidable competition who keep ending up on the same podium. shane doesn’t hate rozanov, but they’re not quite friends either. at least he’s one of the few boys who never called shane a slur when shane won. shane eventually quits racing and goes to university instead, to work in f1 after.
so when ilya rozanov becomes a protegé f1 rookie at 19, shane is one of the many graduate engineers on his team. they both assume the other doesn't recognise each other.
and shane is smart, he shines through the team, and he's able to pick up things and understand ilya's driving style like no one else can. but more importantly - he's the only one on the team who doesn't rise to rozanov's bad temper and ragebaiting. (which makes ilya do it more) rozanov is fun, charismatic - but he's also such a diva to work with. everyone hates working with him.
so when ilya's old and experienced race engineer rage quitted after ilya straight up disobeying a team order - ilya had a say in who they should promote, and the team unanimously agreed for shane to take the role. he might be antisocial, and very young, but goddamn it he might be the only willing candidate for the job and wouldn’t quit before one season ended.
this partnership is an instant success. ilya achieves all his firsts with shane - and his lil baby crush grows into unsalvagable lust. in las vegas, a series of unfortunate events led to ilya starting 18th, and he ends up winning the race. the party was insane. shane did not show up.
ilya shows up to his hotel room, shirtless, bottle of champagne in hand.
“shouldn't you be at your party?”
“you weren't there. i'm bringing the party to you.”
they hook up for the first time then.
the team wins the constructors champion for the first time that year. ilya is the world champion the year after. thus begins the unbeatable hollander-rozanov dynasty.
ilya has a roster of women to sleep with in every city, but never has an official girlfriend. svetlana, the racing nepo baby turned reporter, has a free pass to the paddock, but they maintain that she's not his girlfriend.
if it was a boring win, ilya does not come home that night. if it was a crazy race, he'd end up in shane's hotel room. and if it was a really bad race? shane finds ilya's hotel room.
this goes on for YEARS.
shane is quiet, bad at workplace small talk, seemingly has no personal life, and eventually everyone on the team figured out he's probably gay, and are nice about it. he doesn't correct people when they tentatively imply that he's gay. he's married to the work anyway, it’s nor relevant.
he's never said it out loud that he's gay, not even to ilya. rose landry the movie star gets invited to the paddock one race, and she got to sit next to shane trackside, and that was the closest shane has ever interacted with a woman. ilya got so jealous he made an excuse to not get a picture with the rose landry.
and they're Not Together. ilya loves women, shane is too busy to date, it doesn't mean anything that every single time ilya has to go to the factory he ends up sleeping over at shane's, because of course shane the freak lives 10 minutes away from the factory. it doesn't mean anything that they eventually end up spending most of the summers together, because ilya 'has nothing better to do' (he has no home to go back to) and shane 'has work!’
one summer ilya even invites shane to his yacht, a forced holiday for his favourite engineer and right hand man, and shane meets his friends and it's all so normal. they can still pretend that they don’t really care about each other.
until The Crash. ilya spins and runs right into the barriers. for a long minute shane thinks he might be dead. but he's back on air, thank god, he's speaking and he might have dislocated his shoulder but nothing that couldn't be fixed.
then the engine catches on fire. shane has never lost his cool over the radio ever in his entire career as a race engineer, but he yells at a delirious ilya who's still trying to recover trom the concussion. get up, ilya. get out. get out now! please. you can do it. shane is still yelling when the fire cuts the electronics short, and all he can do is keep his eyes glued to all the screens, cursing the ambulance for not getting there faster. there's so much smoke.
a lifetime later they pull out ilya, who climbs and stumbles out of the car himself, still on his feet. he waves off the stretcher, hobbling onto the ambulance (with a lot of help) - and does his stupid little wave he always does during his victory lap in the general direction of the helicopter overhead. he had no one else waiting for him at home. he wanted shane to see he was alive and well.
shane yanks his headset off (and broke it) and starts sprinting to the medical centre once he sees ilya's handsome and thankfully unburnt face on camera. he's heaving with his hands on his knees by the time he gets to where ilya has been left to wait to be taken to the hospital.
shane doesn't even realise he's crying. he can't move any closer. he's staring at ilya and there's still a million other people around them and shane suddenly realises he's in love with his driver and his driver might love him back and they're so fucking doomed what about russia what about the sponsors what about all the races held in homophobic countries.
and then shane visits him at the hospital and gets promoted to secret boyfriend.
ilya can't race for the rest of the season because his bones have to heal and he burnt his forearm and has to do physio. it doesn't stop him from turning up to races as soon as he can, to pester shane who still needs to work with the reserve driver. ilya is happy despite being on the bench and he films silly socmed stuff on the track and keeps forcing shane to join - until the internet starts getting a crush on his race engineer.
ilya bounces back next season fiercer than ever. they end up sharing hotel suites more often than not and have a flimsy excuse about Strategy but those two have always been perfectly weird for each other and joined at the hip so no one questions it. the sex is freaky as all hell. shane starts wearing glasses to work all the time. the elusive shane finally agrees to getting on the podium with ilya as the team rep, if only so they could have photos together, close to each other.
beaming, in each other's arms, shane squealing as ilya pours champagne down the back of his shirt. ilya planting an obnoxious kiss on shane’s temple.
andulkaphoto
snowghoul
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