emma rose

Hi, I'm a 30 year old queer feminist. I've been on this site way too long, and my blog is an incoherant mess. Enjoy! ✌️  🏳️‍🌈

[awkward-bob-reynolds]

[soundclown]

[teethwreath]

[famylee83]

This man needs to be hunted for sport.

[ailithnight]

The last scene is oddly unsettling...

[tizniz]

Shane’s nervous. Which is stupid and ridiculous. But this is the first year where they’re not just fuck buddies and they get to be together and real with each other.

And most importantly: it’s Ilya’s birthday.

Even though they’ve never discussed past birthday celebrations, Shane knows that Ilya hasn’t had a family celebrate his.

Yes — the Bears will have undoubtedly taken Ilya out to get drunk, celebrate their captain, and that they are a family of sorts (far more than the Metro’s are, Shane has come to realize, but that isn’t the point right now) but it hasn’t really been about Ilya.

It was more an excuse to go out.

Tonight is about Ilya.

Shane double checks the plate with the extravagant chocolate cupcake he picked up earlier, glancing around like he was buying porn instead of a sweet treat. Everyone knows Shane Hollander doesn’t eat this type of thing though, so someone will say something if they spot him. He’d even prepared an excuse (“My dad got a promotion. Loves chocolate cake.”) just in case.

But no one had spotted him. Even better because Shane knows for a fact Ilya has notifications set up for any time Shane is posted about.

Glancing at the clock, Shane twists his hands together. Ilya will be here in a minute. He’ll let himself in and Shane will be standing here waiting and then they can celebrate Ilya.

It’ll only be for a night, a handful of hours, before Ilya has to go and fly back to Boston, but it’s something. It’s everything.

“Shane?” Ilya calls out from the entry way. Lost in thoughts, Shane hadn’t heard the door open.

“I’m here!” He calls back, wondering if his grin is evident in his voice. He steps around the counter and smooths a hand down the jersey he’s wearing (one of Ilya’s — Shane had it delivered to the apartment below the one they used to fuck in so no one knew Shane Hollander of the Metro’s was buying a Boston jersey) and waits for Ilya to walk in.

His boyfriend stops the moment his eyes land on Shane. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Shane replies, suddenly breathless. “Happy birthday, baby.”

Ilya’s eyes drop down, widening as they take in the jersey Shane is wearing. “Oh my god.” He whispers as Shane turns slowly, letting Ilya see the name and number on the back. It probably helps that Shane only has his underwear on too.

“There’s also this.” Shane points at the cupcake, “Double chocolate. You’re favourite.”

“Shane…”

“And I’m going to have a bite too.” Shane adds on, “Because it’s your birthday cake.”

“Shane.”

“And there’s presents from Mom and Dad. For you. Plus I have some.” Shane clasps his hands together in front of him. “It’s not much, but…” He shrugs, “Happy birthday, Ilya.”

There’s tears in Ilya’s eyes as he strides forward, cradling Shane’s face in his hands as he presses their mouths together in a loving kiss.

“Thank you, moya lyubov. This is…perfect. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Shane replies softly, winding his arms around Ilya, “And I can’t wait to celebrate every birthday with you from now on.”

“Yes.” Ilya nods, smiling as he strokes a thumb along Shane’s freckles, “That is best birthday present of all.”

[shanebuffys]

Prince Ilya would LOVE riling up and flirting with knight Shane. Ilya’s getting undressed in front of Shane in his chambers because he knows Shane isn’t allowed to look away. He’s making Shane practice swordfighting with him and he can tell Shane is holding back so Ilya chirps at him until Shane finally knocks him on his ass and puts the tip of the sword to his throat. He’s talking to eligible maidens at a feast and while he dances with them he’s making intense eye contact with Shane. Ilya tells Shane he wants to take a ride out to the lake on his horse and of course when they get there Ilya is stripping off his clothes to go skinny dipping. Basically, half of his plans involving getting naked in front of Shane. And along the way he’s starting to realize that he might like his knight a little too much, and he should probably stop, but of course, he doesn’t. And so finally when Shane loses all control and gives into his desire for Ilya, it’s even better than Ilya imagined because his knight, his sworn protector, is dropping to his knees without provocation and sucking his cock. He’s a whimpering and moaning mess and he’s begging for Ilya to fuck him. Shane, the ultimate rule follower, who as a knight has sworn a vow of chastity, is giving himself over to Ilya every time they are alone. And Ilya, who just thought this would be another fuck, is now thinking that he might need to usurper the thrown so he can make gay marriage legal and marry this man.

inspired by @weavingshaw

[phaeton-flier]

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

[phaeton-flier]

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

[theaudientvoid]

[centrally-unplanned]

Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.

And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.

[theabigailthorn]

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

[agent-odessa-over]

Shane's not freaking out. Its fine. Its fiiiine.

Ilya left with Harris and Troy to get fitted for his best man suit for the upcoming Drover-Barrett wedding hours ago. He'd sent a very sexy selfie from the changing room, linen suit pants hanging loose on his waist, white dress shirt draped over his shoulders and unbuttoned down the chest, stupid lopsided grin with laugh lines and crinkles around his eyes (fuuuuuck, why are Ilya's crows feet doing it for him lately? Definitely not going to unpack that one).

Shane: Fuck. Come home.

Ilya: See something you like? I think it comes in your size

Shane: As long as it comes in me

Ilya: 👀

Shane: Come. Home. Now.

Ilya: Fuck. I promised Troy and Harris I would grab a beer when we're done. I'll let you know when I'm on my way home.

But hours later and still no text from Ilya. Shane doesn't want to be clingy. He knows the Centaurs see him and Ilya as a two-headed, codependent entity (which, honestly, fits in with the whole Centaur thing, wait no, Shane, don't lose the plot here). But he's starting to worry. Every now and then, Ilya will enjoy a beer since starting his SSRI, but never more than one, and he's always been completely fine. But still, Shane's brain is picturing awful scenarios, and he's practically thrumming with anxiety.

So Shane's anxiety wins and he dials Ilya. It rings a few times, and his heart fills with relief at the static crackle and rush of air filling the speaker. "Hello, Lyubimyy," Ilya purrs.

"Fuck, Roz, where the hell are you?"

"In the car, driving home from the bar. I'll be home in about 20 minutes. Just have to make a quick stop on the way."

Shane lets go of a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "Okay. But if you're not home by 8, I'll suck my own dick."

There's a muffled gasp, but it doesn't sound like Ilya. He hears a tinny voice in the background. "Can he really do that?" it asks incredulously. Troy. Motherfucker.

He hears Ilya scoffs. "No. Wait. Can you really do that?'

"I bet its the yoga," another voice says. Harris. Fuck.

Shane blinks. His voice goes dangerously quiet. "Ilya," he starts. "Am I on speakerphone?"

"What?" Ilya squawks indignantly. "You are always so worried about me driving and talking, so I use the bluetooth."

"Ohhhhh well in that case," Shane says in a fake cheerful voice. "But you might have mentioned it before I STARTED DESCRIBING SEX ACTS IN FRONT OF OUR FRIENDS!" Shane yells.

"Shane," Ilya whines.

"Don't you 'Shane' me."

Ilya sputters. "I like to be hands free!"

Harris snickers in the background. "Apparently Shane likes to be hands free, too."

"Dude," Troy says. "You think he, like, can bend in half?"

Ilya growls. "Stop picturing it, Barrett!" he yells, presumably into the backseat. "Your fiance is literally next to you."

"Oh it's cool, Harris says Shane is my hallpass. Or, you know, Hollpass."

Ilya sighs. "Shane, we will fight about this later. I need to go kill Troy." And the call disconnects.

And dammit, now Shane's hard again.

[ilyasmole]

apologies if anyone has already pointed this out but i just realized ilya chose to wear a turtleneck to his father's funeral therefore his mother's necklace is not visible......

[russianblush]

it's also tucked away when he's in sochi in episode two while his father is still alive, his brother is harassing him through texts, ect

and noticeably absent here when he's caring for his father during the summer in ep 4

but of course the moment when he's alone in moscow in ep 5 after his father has passed and he's speaking to shane, it's out. the details of this show will make me go insane

[hudsonsstretchmarks]

The Word of Your Body

"Ilya’s face falls, his usual cocky smirk he perpetually wears in bed is nowhere to be seen. “I do not want to hurt you.” The way he says it makes Shane’s chest tighten.

“You won’t.” You can’t, he wants to say. “What about you?” He reaches with the hand he’s allowed to move and once again cups it around Ilya’s bad knee. “Is this position okay for you? I can ride you?” Shane hasn’t been on top yet; preferring to give all the control to Rozanov. But he’s been practicing with his dildo, and if it would be more comfortable for him, why not give it a try?

“I’m fine, Hollander.” He swats Shane’s hand away. “We will fuck like this. Want to see you...” Shane’s breath hitches. “… in case it hurts.” He adds because of course that’s what he meant. Not because he wants to look into Shane’s eyes. Not because this isn’t anything but meaningless, ill-advised sex."

-----

AKA - How pain and injuries affect Shane & Ilya's sex life over the years!

* Inspired by this post by @hollzy-baby and the added tags by @solarspunk

[hudsonsstretchmarks]

All chapters done!!!!

Thanks again to @hollzy-baby & @solarspunk for the inspiration!! 💙

[sequenceofmind]

Missy's entrance Bring It On (2000)

[moghedien]

One like nitpick thing that drives me crazy is when people call Blue Whales the largest whales or the largest living mammals or some shit like that

Because yes that is true. But when you frame it like that you are completely disregarding the absolutely batshit reality that Blue Whales are the largest animals that have ever existed on earth through the entire history of the planet and they are alive right now today

[shanehollanderr]

My idea of myhollanov’s texting frequency/habits post-Heated Rivalry make me 🥹 I see their positions flipping a little and suddenly shane is always texting first and being clingy and concerned and boyfriendy where ilya is used to being the pursuer but now it’s not abt pursuit it’s about comfort and ilya brings shane comfort so he’s always like “i miss you already” “good morning, how did you sleep?” “just wanted to say hi and that im thinking about you” “i hate that you had to leave” like his earnestness really comes into play for me here and i just love thinking of double-texter sweetie pie shane once they’re boyfriends

[daggersoliloquy]

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit

[saveyourhelplessspite]

i bring a sort of "this character is canonically malnourished and would gain at least a couple pounds during their hypothetical healing arc wherein they get better" vibe to the function that people dont really like

[heatedrivalryz]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ILYA ROZANOV! JUNE 15th, 1991 (insp)

[swagsmeister]

the dua lipa of it all

[weewoo911]

Canon divergence where Yuna finds out (or is 99% sure) about Hollanov and instead of talking to Shane about it makes the very Rational decision to fly to Boston and knock on Ilya Rozanov’s door to make sure he’s not stringing her son along and give him a shovel talk (nevermind how she got his address she has ways)

Just picturing Ilya opening his door with all his usual confidence and swagger and completely bluescreening bc Mama Hollander is here to ask What Are Your Intentions With My Son