the world's most decent little princess
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@emotional-support-cleric
the world's most decent little princess
Added to the collection by @candydoppelbox
ok chat I got another question for you.
my coworker recently told me "it's normal for your bedroom to not have a door lock".
to which I looked at him with abject horror.
Were you allowed to lock your bedroom door growing up?
Not even allowed to have it closed
No. parent's house, parents rules, etc.
This wasn't a problem for me
My privacy was respected (yes)
Everyone say happy birthday to Slimey the worm right fucking now
love when a mother asks if they have ever done anything to hurt you. ma'am, you will literally never be ready to have this conversation
what therapy do you think we can afford. what truths do you think you can survive
everyone clearly has a super normal relationship with their mother
have you ever put more than a THOUSAND hours of playtime into a single video game?
Have you ever put more than a THOUSAND hours of playtime into a single video game?
Yes
No
Iāve been waiting a year to post this
World Heritage Post
In this horrible timeline I occasionally agree with⦠Ted Cruz, apparently
Happy 21st of September!
I can understand how "modern person thrown into the past gets by pretending to be a healer/doctor" is as surprisingly common of a trope as it is. I mean I'm fluent enough at bullshitting to be pretty sure I could pull it off to impersonate a doctor in any time pre-1800s. If I have no idea what something is or how to treat it, I could just get the opinion of the other whatever-passes-as-medical-professionals around, but if their suggestions sound like bullshit I'm not doing it. And I'll beat the shit out of anyone suggesting bloodletting or mercury. With my healing stick. I've tied little bells on it, that jingle comically with every smack.
The awesome curative powers of my healing stick come from two separate sources: Placebo, and me using it to beat anyone trying to give my patients mercury.
Ooooh you reminded me of that protocol I wrote about how to reinvent penicilin with only alchemical tools. You know. Just in case I did end up dumped in the past and needed a stable income.
w
what's the protocol?
I am so glad you asked! I unfortunately lost the protocol because it was probably on my laptop, but I remember the broad strokes. So! In case anyone does end up stuck in the middle ages and can find a kindly old alchemist willing to lend you his gear, here's the revamped Penicilin (Re)Discovery Protocol!
0. WASH YOUR GODDAMN HANDS.
We're not working in a lab here, cross-conatamination WILL happen. Your job is to minimize it as much as possible. If you end up in a place where soap hasn't been invented yet, wash your hands in distilled alcohol. Your skin won't thank you, but you can afford all the nice hand creams after you cure the plague and get rich.
Find some Penicillium mushrooms!
Yes, penicilin is produced by mushrooms, though Ascomycotes are usually called moulds, it's a fungus, and it makes me laugh to call it a mushroom. Plus, in the middle ages, mushrooms were known to have medicinal properties, so you'll get a lot farther by calling them mushrooms rather than molds.
First thing you need: mouldy fruit. Oranges, or cantaloupes are preferred.
Here's the thing: mold is everywhere, so getting it will be the easiest part. The tricky part start with identifying the correct mold. You don't want to feed your patients black mold, do you?
So. Leave some fruit out. The more the better, because you want to up your chances. Then let it rot in warm and humid places. After a while, pick any fruit that looks white on the outside and green in the middle:
Not the best picture, but that's what it should look like.
2. Transplanting your (potential) Penicillium mushrooms
Until you get it on a plate it's damn near impossible to tell which mold you got. Get ready for some trial and error because you will have to sift through a lot of unwanted mold. You might want to wear a mask.
First you need something to transplant it onto. Making modern agar plates is probably impossible but thankfully not needed. You just need:
Glass plates (the kind that can be closed, you want to minimize cross contamination)
1-2 cup of Hot water (preferably distilled, ask your alchemist if he can do that)
1 cup whole milk (should be 13g of lactose per cup, if your Penicillium won't grow adjust the water-milk ration in favor of milk)
If available: Instead of milk use corn steep liquor. Unfortunately only available after America was discovered, so YMMW, but Penicillium LOVES this stuff. It will make your life SO much easier if it's available.
Pinch of salt
1 teaspoon Yeast extract (get it from a baker)
3-6 teaspoons Gelatin (get it from a butcher)
Disclaimer: The ratio of each of the ingredients will have to be adjusted depending on the purity of the ingredients and on the conventional measuring sizes of the place you end up.
Gently mix it all in and pour out into the plates, let it solidify. If you end up dumped far enough that such refinement isn't possible, make bone broth and strain it through cheesecloth several times to make it as clear as possible, then mix it 5/6 broth and 1/6 milk. Again, if available, use corn steep liquor, but if not milk is fine. Add gelatin (should still be able to get it from the butcher) as needed to solidify it. I'm afraid experimentation will be needed depending on the resources you will be working with.
When you're done, you should have something like this:
Now that you have your plates, run an inoculation loop through a flame to sterilize it.
Something like this. Wave it through the air to cool it so you don't kill your mold, grab it from your fruit and geeeeeently spread it on top of your improvised agar without breaking the surface of the gelatin!
You can see the motions on this one pretty well. Close your plates, stack them about a meter/3ft from the fireplace. Judge for yourself, but ideally somewhere you would consider comfortably warm (20-24°C).
3. Identifying your Penicillium Mushrooms
If all went well, you are going to have something that looks like this:
Well, realistically, it will look something like this:
We're not actually doing it in a lab, after all. But IDEALLY, it will look like the above. It doesn't have to be perfect, you just need to be able to identify Penicillium molds for now.
IDEALLY, on the plate that matches the description of the penicillium mold you'll see an exclusion zone of bacteria around the mold, like the fourth plate in the second row, so you know you have a potential winner, but if you managed to avoid bacterial growth you need to take a few extra steps.
Penicillium molds have characteristic rings of growth, grey-green-white rings. They're easy to differentiate from bacteria because the molds are fuzzy and the bacteria as smooth and slimy. In the above picture, there are four plates that potentially have what we want, and two are less certain than others. Wash out the unwanted ones, make new agar plates, sterilize your inoculation loop and transplant your best candidates. You might need to do this several times.
Two types are confirmed to produce penicilin: P. chrysogenum and P. rubens.
The former is far more widely used today, but since we're sourcing them from literally thin air, we're more likely to get P. rubens, but unless you're a mycologist you probably won't be able to tell the difference. Thankfully you won't need to, because they both produce penicillin. Which brings me to the next step.
4. Confirming it's the penicillin producing mushroom
We're gonna need more agar plates for this one, and believe it or not, you're gonna need to mix blood into your agar. Wash your hands THROUGHLY.
(Theoretically you can get away with just milk, but identifying the correct bacterial colony on white agar is going to be a nightmare, so just add some sheep blood to your agar, conventionally it's about 5% by volume but you might need more to make it)
You need some gram-positive bacteria, preferably of the Bacillota type. Please don't go out and find a patient with fucking botulism or tetanus, you need to live long enough to make the cure. Instead, if you have a vagina, scrape some of the white, mucousy stuff from there and plant it on your plate. If you don't have your own vagina, a borrowed one is fine. Penicilin also works on Treponema pallidum, so if you get a syphilis-affected prostitute that should also work. Just wear gloves.
Ideally you get something like this.
This is actually Lactobacillus brevis, but Lactobacillus colonies all look relatively the same. The important thing is that it's all gram-positive, and will therefore be affected by penicillin.
Take new plates again, plant your Penicillium mold in the middle, and the bacteria all around it, getting as close to the center as possible. You can put down a paper marker for the mold. Wait for about 20 days.
Ideally, on at least one plate, you will get something like this:
This is literally a textbook example of testing antibiotics, but the Zone of Inhibition is what you're looking for. It means the mold is releasing a compound to kill the competing bacteria for resources, in this case, Beta-lactam antibiotic, or penicillin. Make sure to pick the one with the WIDEST ZoI, because that's the one that produces most penicillin.
So now we have the root stock, but our problems have just begun. This is the part where you're absolutely going to need an alchemist's help.
The problem is that a human body is not a petri dish. It's quite a bit larger. And you want the good bacteria destroying stuff without all the nasty contaminants, so you need a SHITLOAD of mold producing a LOT of penicillin, and then you need a way to filter it. You are going to need actual lab equipment for that, or near as they had it.
Since I lost the original protocol I'm going to need to do research all over again how to do that with alchemy equipment (or at least a microbrewery), so that will be in the next installment.
Fascinating.
Concept: generic fantasy adventure where the wizard has a crackpot assistant and he explains sadly that while Hreithbert is an excellent person for keeping the wizard tower tidy and the homonculi fed they're obsessed with cooking like ten million plates of inedible goop but it makes them happy so he permits it
And at the end of the story the big reveal is Hreithbert is a time displaced biochemist who has finally fucking refined their process for penicillin.
"Oh you had a plague? Come back to us when you had a World War, brand new unconventional weapons, and a new international order."
I apologize.
insert that YOU chihuahua post where theyre being pinned down i cant for the life of me find it
This one?
Oh, Charles. The hubris. Honey. You had to know this was a possibility. Why would you tempt Apollo like that.
I love how we don't even need Apollo to be captioned, it's just "he's holding a dodgeball and looks Greek statue, of COURSE it's Apollo delivering the gift of prophecy unto unsuspecting tumblr users"
Absolute fucking trainwreck of a post
Oh gee I wonder why this is going around again
Art
How. Interesting
Absolute bog standard post
@charlesoberonn
How about now?
Still not as bad as 1910s and 1940s but definitely getting there
You know I'm gonna be honest. I don't think all these apps really need access to my precise location
people who want to live in lighthouse - i hear you, i understand you
but i raise you
living in water tower
safer (you not gonna die horrid death so easy), not so cursed but still ominous, you are alone bc you are in a tower but you can do groceries no problem, just chilling above everything else
and look at those beauties!! (from Poland <3)
as an american i was very confused by this post until i got to the images because our water towers look like this, which, as you can imagine, is a completey unsexy place to live
my new job is so good except for this part
not to sound like a boomer, but I need some people to learn how to write emails in a semi-professional (at the very least) format so you're not cold emailing a business/potential employer/any other stranger about formal matters in the exact same way you'd DM a close friend on instagram
the formality/language can loosen up in the email chain once you've established a rapport and you match the other person if they're being less formal, but please don't have the very first email you send a stranger be written in all lowercase ultra-casual sms slang with no greeting or signature and a billion emojis
Can I just ask, why?
(adding your tags since I'm addressing them)
Itās polite, for one. Professional doesnāt need to mean elaborateāin fact, most professional emails are aiming to be as clear and concise as possible. (in english at least, I know some other languages have some very complicated and elaborate email etiquette)
Greetings and signatures also donāt need to be elaborate. I feel like lots of people overthink it and assume that professional emails need the whole ādear x, my name is x and I am writing this email to inform you about [topic], sincerely [my name and all my contact info]ā shebang, when really itās as simple as adding a quick greeting/signature and avoiding super informal slang.
Hereās an comparison using art commission inquiry as the topic, written with zero extra fluff:
Hi, Are you currently open for commissions? Thanks, [my name]
If I want to add a little more fluff, maybe I write:
Hi, I love your art and wanted to ask if you're currently open for commissions. Here are details of what I'm interested in. Thanks for your time! Thanks/best/etc, [my name]
Those are very short while also being more polite than an email that just says:
are u open for comms??
with zero greeting/signature and very informal tone.Ā
Thereās still a person on the other side reading that email, and just like how being polite with a customer service agent on the phone will get you better results than being rude with them, sending a clear and professional email will have you taken more seriously by whoever is reading it. All 3 emails get the same point across, but the last one leaves a much worse impression. You donāt speak to your close friends the same way youād speak to strangers, and itās the same in text form. I get so many emails that are just abrupt questions, with not even a quick "thank you" either in the initial email or as a follow-up after I respond, because they ghost me as if I'm just a chat bot answering questions.
I know complaining about email language sounds like a ~corporate america white-collar bullshit~ kinda thing, and there is indeed significantly more elaborate email etiquette that can vastly differ depending on your job/field that Iām not addressing at all, but just having the very basics goes a long way in how your emails are viewed by other people.
Oh boy, let me tell you, we get emails from students like this all the time at my pay job. Barely any information about what kind of help they need, if any info at all. No names, no student ID, not even using an email known to the school.
It took me ages to figure out they were treating writing emails like they were talking to a chatbot.
Now besides the obvious issues - I cannot help you if I spend the better part of three days trying to pull basic information out of you - these messages look like spam. More importantly, they can come across as a scam, and that makes it even less likely to get the problem fixed.
Taking the time to write a proper email is not only polite, it could be critical to getting somewhere in your education, in your career, and in writing and art. Use templates if you need them, but it is worth the effort to sound like an actual human trying to talk to another human.
ok here's the thing
that's a sign you are not getting enough rest
when you're well-rested, lying around in bed is boring. you want to get up and do something.
"i never feel that way" you are permanently overworked and underslept please understand this
"i never feel that way but also i don't do anything" you are burnt out and/or have chronic fatigue
like i get that what is necessary to earn a living and stay housed and fed is not in line with resting as much as your body wants you to but that doesn't mean your body is wrong. like
[image: tweet by lilydsmith: "the problem with the whole 'listen to your body' thing is my body is always telling me it's a great time to get cozy in bed"]
We gotta stop aiming for unique and interesting baby names we gotta start naming every single infant straight-shot middle-of-the-road ass popular common unisex names like Alex and Sam. By the end of 2031 I wanna see 100% of kindergarten children named either Alex or Sam and you know what, letās make āem all Smiths and Johnsons, too. In an age of digital tracking give your baby the gift of total functional anonymity within the panopticon
If Elon Musk owned Tumblr he would nuke your blog for this.
And I would die with honour at the hands of a fool