Sandpaper kisses, Papercut bliss

My heart swings back and forth between the need for routine and the urge to run.

[thisfeebleheart]

love it so much when he talks with his hands

[kosmogrl]

[tinylilhollander]

If Ilya does ever figure out that Shane's autistic it'll be through something so stupid. Like he's scrolling through TikTok one night because he can't sleep and he comes across this video that's like 'Dear autism community: rate this spoon'. And there's this whole reveal where they unwrap it from a cloth so he's expecting the fanciest spoon he's ever seen and then they reveal it and he's so disappointed to find it's just... a normal fucking spoon.

He thinks this must be a joke so he goes to the comments, and sure enough it's absolutely full of people who not only seem to think this spoon is worthy of rating in the first place, but who seem to have very strong opinions on what makes it a good or bad spoon. To Ilya a spoon is a spoon is a spoon. It's absolutely baffling to him that people seem to think the handle looks like it's not weighty enough, or that the shape of the bowl is wrong, or that it's too flat or too square. He opens the playlist of cutlery rating videos because surely this can't be the norm, and sure enough every single one has a comment section full of very strong opinions about how good or bad this normal fucking fork or knife is.

And then a memory returns to him, as he looks over at his peacefully sleeping husband, of Shane moving in and having to get rid of all his cutlery to replace it with his.

"Sorry, I know it's stupid, but yours are really bad to hold, baby. It's literally all I can think about every time I eat here."

And Ilya didn't mind at the time. So Shane likes his own cutlery better? That's a small compromise when Ilya doesn't have strong feelings about silverware in the first place. But now things are beginning to click, and he's beginning to draw a line between the opinionated spoon people and the day he had to drive his cutlery to the nearest goodwill.

Ilya spends the rest of the night reading about autism and suddenly there's so much more that's beginning to make sense. He doesn't know how he'll bring it up with Shane – if he'll ever bring it up with Shane – but for how it's good to know.

[local-lesbian-tree-demon]

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

[kosmogrl]

[gaygoatshane]

ilya promising children cash if they win knowing he's gonna let them win and then asking shane for money because he doesn't have his wallet. he wasn't even an annoying husband yet but he was letting shane know his potential

[creamsiclemelt]

this is real though, right?

[gaygoatshane]

i'm not joking when i say ilya admitting to shane that he looked up compatible was one of the bravest things ever. shane also asking for ilya's room number was so brave too. i love them

[loveridden1999]

top 3 hobbies for young adults:

1. borrowing misery from future

2. carrying grief of the past

3. agonizing over the present

[loveridden1999]

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[gaynehollander]

My Shane and Ilya are both incredibly possessive of one another and quick to jealousy but while Ilya gets jealous in a “everyone wants you but they can’t have you, you’re mine and I will delight in showing everyone what they’re missing out on” way, Shane gets jealous in a “I will burn this club down with both of us in it” way.

[gaynehollander]

@giveemhales just really hitting it out of the park in the tags. this is the crux of it.

[virginshane]

shane’s fantasies: free use gangbang creampie dp deepthroating

ilya’s fantasies: my husband sleepy. my husband wearing glasses. my husband blushing. my husband freckles. my husband

[themoonandmyman]

Ilya at therapy being like ‘you were supposed to fix me so I can be good enough for Shane!’ Baby. Sweet boy. That sentence is literally why you’re here

[mymansmoon]

shane's face after ilya picks him up my god he's so turned on. this guy is 200lbs of pure muscle he follows a diet other professional athletes have never even heard of and spends half his life in the gym, the other half muscling big strong hockey players out the way to get to a puck. and ilya just lifted him right off the ground and is ferrying him over to the bed where he Is Going To Fuck Him. my sweet steaming-engine-brain shane has never blanked so hard in his life. he's barely a person in this moment he is just Hormone

[bambicoded]

with how deeply physical their bond is, i don't think that hollanov ever bothered to develop a safeword. i do think, though, that they developed-- by accident!-- a physical system to tell each other how they are feeling. and it definitely bleeds into their life outside the bedroom, and it's definitely subconscious at this point, and it definitely makes it into the locker room and onto the ice by the time they're both in ottawa.

which means maybe the centaurs have picked up on the fact that hey, sometimes when shane wants ilya to stop doing something, he taps his arm twice. or if ilya wants shane to move one way, he taps him three times. or if he just wants his attention, its a squeeze. which is all relatively normal, and they probably think its cute that they have an unspoken language for communicating with one another.

and then maybe-- by accident!-- it starts taking root as a thing, and then mindlessly troy or wyatt or bood accidentally double pats shane's arm to get him to stop talking to ilya for a moment, and shane thinks for a moment, that was a weird coincidence, and moves on. but then it happens again, and then maybe luca squeezes his arm to get his attention and then bood taps him three times to get him to move aside so he can walk past and shane feels himself flush to the ears and catches ilya's eyes across the room and ilya definitely noticed that too. so now what? they can't full well ask them to stop without saying, hey, so this was a sex thing. but it'd be weird to let it continue... right?

[ceruleanheaven]

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over