all i ask of you

just open up a little bit more

[emotionalsupportdyke]

[emotionalsupportdyke]

I'm going to use this as my about

I'm Nikolai I'm 25 I have 3 cats I'm a hater first and a bisexual second My #me tag is my actual bio My #quiet tag is for all the actually good shit My text post tag is #niko.tmp

[glowcowboy]

as someone who constantly gets stuck in ruminative cycles, figuring out a way to stop the cycle before it gets out of hand has been incredibly formative for me. if you find yourself ruminating or unable to stop the cycling, here’s a place to start.

am i learning, processing, or ruminating? it’s important to be able to distinguish between the three. learning is when you receive new information that updates your frame of understanding. processing is when you study a situation to help yourself understand it. ruminating is when you cycle over the same thought repeatedly, often causing distress. learning and processing are productive, while rumination is destructive.

which theme is this? understanding the root of the spiral has helped me to untangle why the rumination feels so intense and scary. (example: i’ve been ruminating on one specific interaction with someone where i think they might’ve misinterpreted what i meant. this is my theme of fear around being misunderstood.)

how do i respond? (example: okay, this is that theme of being misunderstood. but it is not my job to make myself perfectly understood. the people i have around me can ask clarifying questions if they’re confused, and they are willing to meet me in the middle because they want to understand.)

don’t feed the raccoons tuna. (this is an example from my therapist that i love! essentially, don’t feed the beast or it will keep coming back. distract yourself, journal, listen to music, etc.)

[beemovieerotica]

[adz]

im in the pussy like turmeric in tupperware

[adz]

nods serenely

[it-appears-that-bruno-has-deact]

[rednines]

If I was wealthy I’d get weird surgery recreationally and spend five grand on six academic texts per week and have a fancy office that’s only for sucking dick and smoking and wear fabrics made of evil and I’d have two personal trainers that I double book so they have to compete for my attention and I’d smell obscure and irresistible and I’d have machine guns and a sculptor that I fund who lives in the woods and is not allowed to leave but gets whatever they want brought to them because the art is just that important and I’m not allowed to see it until it’s done and also theyre dying

[beemovieerotica]

most beautiful instagram account

[emotionalsupportdyke]

I have been trying to keep myself around more desisted/detrans women and some things I can't relate to, but I wish I did at the same time

[emotionalsupportdyke]

And with my fake and gay multiple personality bullshit it makes it even harder to understand because I know Jade felt differently than I do. But I forget how Jade felt a lot. I wanted to be a man. I still want to be a man. I don't want to pay for it, I don't want to deal with it, and I am okay being just female. Mostly. And that took a long fucking time

[emotionalsupportdyke]

"In another universe if I was male I'd still be trans because then I'd want to be a woman!" WRONG. In another universe if I was male I'd start a youtube channel get my heart broken by 500 women get my heart broken by 500 men drive drunk buy a mustang get arrested get back with my ex sign the declaration of independence break into a coffee shop and drink all the syrup then I would-

[emotionalsupportdyke]

I have been trying to keep myself around more desisted/detrans women and some things I can't relate to, but I wish I did at the same time

[emotionalsupportdyke]

And with my fake and gay multiple personality bullshit it makes it even harder to understand because I know Jade felt differently than I do. But I forget how Jade felt a lot. I wanted to be a man. I still want to be a man. I don't want to pay for it, I don't want to deal with it, and I am okay being just female. Mostly. And that took a long fucking time

[emotionalsupportdyke]

I have been trying to keep myself around more desisted/detrans women and some things I can't relate to, but I wish I did at the same time

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[emotionalsupportdyke]

@pixilator

[emotionalsupportdyke]

I feel like fall is coming early for some reason idk. I smell it. I'm expecting it

[sycamorality]

did you know you can rename everything on your pc

i've been using computers since 2009 i know how computers work you people need to stop assuming people know nothing about computers. yes i know you can change icons. i just made this post because i wanted to make a silly post about my puter. so many of you people would be the least fun person at parties because of how you go "omgf youre so stupid wait until you learn about (thing)" like politely. shut the fuck up and start being nicer to strangers on the internet

have some fucking joy and whimsy and instead say "its so awesome people are learning about this"

[sycamorality]

this is windows 7

[emotionalsupportdyke]

Vastly superior choice. Kudos

[funstyle]

Dont worry everyone. I'll freak out on all of our behalves

[zendeyas]

Zendaya wearing MATIERES – New York premiere of The Odyssey

[anglaised]

“nobody should be put in ai generators” true but we know why women r more often than anyone else why r we acting like men r getting a fraction of the revenge porn or sexual harassment thrown at them with ai that women are……like ppl r literally having to remove vids and pics of their baby daughters offline bc of how bad the usage of ai to make porn out of girls is…how do we address a issue if we cant even identify the issue yall r annoying as fuck 😭

[thatdykepunkslut]

> Get into color grading

> realize every screen displays color slightly differently

> realize every camera captures color a little differently

> realize every format and image editor translates color

> realize every printer deposits ink differently

> realize every kind of paper accepts ink differently

> realize colors look completely different under different lighting conditions

> ok I'm going to do everything greyscale now

> black density changes as ink cartridge depletes and depending on viscosity after multiple prints

> "what color white are you using"

> duckduckgo least painful method of death