
#extradirty
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@emtechie
Psych is such a weird show bc in a lot of ways it's constantly asking, "can you forgive your father? even tho he could never forgive you, can you forgive him?" and the thing he could never forgive you for was not meeting his exact very specific expectations. And the answer keeps being yes you can, because not doing so is worse. You tried and it hurt more. You tried and it made you more miserable. You forgive him because he's all you have most of the time, and its somehow less complicated than whatever you have going on with your mom. You can forgive him but you can't forget, and then one day he realizes that he was wrong and there was nothing he should have taken as a slight about you, but you both just never acknowledge this paradigm shift in your relationship bc it'd be more awkward then fighting again for the millionth time. So things get better but you never say why, you never acknowledge it unless forced and somehow you forgive him more than your mom who you were never even half as mad at.
But also it's about breaking and entering into sea world and making a janitor think you killed your best friend so you can escape, it's about gaslighting your coworkers into thinking you are the dumbest man alive, it's about only closing a mystery when it's as funnt as possible and making sure everyone else around you is as baffled as possible. It's about childhood and nostalgia and growing up in the most chaotic way you can. It's about people being killed with a t-rex skull, it's about slapstick and committing to the bit and being the silliest messiest bisexual on tv in 2006-2014.
It's about a son and his father and forgiveness and somehow also they are in a circus tent trying to find out why a corpse was launched from a cannon. And also there's an extended musical episode that makes it onto my personal Spotify year after year
Dungeon Mastery
I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.
He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense
Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.
My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.
Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.
He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM
Good for them!
I will never understand this weird new obsession with y'all telling on yourselves just so you can make some dumb complaint most other normal people wouldn't care about.
Ya know, I'm gonna sound like an old man when I say this, but...
Back in my day, when we recognized a porn star, we just kept our fucking mouths shut about it.
You either 1) understood that that knowledge was a private thought and literally no one in the room needed to know for any reason that you knew enough about porn to recognize a porn star on the fucking street
Or 2) you were a big enough brained adult to understand that porn stars are people with lives, just like you, outside of their jobs and what they did with that time was none of your fucking business.
I don't care what any porn star is doing with their fucking money. It's their fucking money.
I do care, and I am thrilled, that a science fiction museum is getting much needed funding so EVERYONE, including porn stars, can enjoy what it has to offer.
Y'all need to get a fucking grip and stop acting like people having consensual sex is the worst thing they could be doing to society.
People have been fucking for money longer than society as you know it has even existed. They will continue to do so long after this, and many more empires burn to the ground.
A porn star no child should even recognize sitting on a Star Trek photo op set for a Museum social media post isn't going to corrupt the children. Hell, seeing them knowing who they are isn't even going to corrupt YOU. Grow up.
Someone linked me this beautiful poster, and I'm just really impressed.
My contribution:
âoh no, my audience has begun to guess the big twists of my story and are accurately predicting what will happen!â
incorrect response: write the rest of the story to be as twisty, shocking and counter to expectations as possible, regardless of whether this is a logical or satisfying way for the plot to go
correct response:
can someone elaborate on the âmake hoaxâ and âpost angry tweet about âleakââ part. iâm stupid and donât understand things
sure!
(youâre not stupid. I posted this thinking it would amuse a handful of mutuals who all knew the context and that would be about it, so I didnât think about providing any other explanation. I had no idea it would spread this far.)
Iâll start from the very beginning just to be thorough. so this is Alex Hirsch, creator and head writer of Gravity Falls, a show which had a big focus on mystery, conspiracies, codes and ciphers, etc. the whole plot is kicked off by one of the main characters finding a mysterious old journal in the woods, which detailed all kinds of weird and supernatural things, but then ended abruptly with the author saying they had to hide the journal because they were being watched. the central driving mystery of the show, therefore, was the question of who wrote the journal and what happened to them.
now, the thing about Gravity Falls is that, while it must be said that the writers werenât always quite as sure of their plans as we tend to like to think they are, it is very much a fair play mystery, with legitimate clues to what was going on. but the writers were caught off guard by how quickly the show attracted a dedicated audience, including a lot of people outside the primary presumed demographic, who started solving the clues faster than expected. so some of the fans were able to correctly guess who the author was before it was revealed in the show, and the theory started spreading. this put the writers in something of a panic, because this was THE mystery that the whole story revolved around, with Ÿ of the show building up to the dramatic reveal in the middle of season 2. they wanted it to be a mystery that could be figured out, sure, but they werenât prepared for people to solve it so far in advance of when it was planned to be revealed, which would have really taken away from the big moment. they werenât going to change the main story itself, but having been caught unaware by how much attention the fans were paying, they wanted to up the ante and make the mystery more complex to solve going forwardâbut first they needed to buy some time and throw the fandom off the scent for a little longer.
hence, Alexâs plan as described above. they whipped up a fake shot that appears to give away the identity of the author as being another character in the show, put it on a screen in the studio as if it was a real animation frame, took a picture of it, and âleakedâ it online. it was initially decided to be a hoax (albeit, I think, presumed to be a hoax originating from outside the production team), until Alex posted this tweet:
âŠbefore quickly deleting it (though not so quickly that it didnât get seen, of course).
it worked well enough to distract most people for a while, and wasnât revealed as a hoax until a year later, when an episode aired that definitively proved that the supposed screenshot could never have happened, at which point Alex owned up to the whole thing as seen in the tweet above. by then the episode with the real reveal wasnât far off, and while people did still work it out ahead of time, it was more of an âOH MY GOD I KNEW IT!â moment than a âbooooooring, weâve known that for agesâ moment, which of course was what the writers wanted all along.
personally I find this a fascinating approach to dealing with the problem of spoilers, because it doesnât affect the story itself at all; if you watch Gravity Falls todayâor if you were watching it when it aired without any significant contact with the fandomâyouâd never know about it. ultimately, the problem the writers were facing wasnât that some people might guess the answer to the mysteryâthey never wanted to make it completely impossible to predictâso much as it was that they hadnât designed the story to stand up to so many people working on the puzzle together, which resulted in a sort of total output of puzzle-solving ability that far outstripped the capability of any one solo human being. so their solution is something thatâs very much targeted toward delaying that group problem-solving, without actually affecting the experience of any individual person watching the show.
plus, itâs very in keeping with the overall tone of the show.
and now you know!
if your audience guesses the ending of your story
donât:
change the ending
do:
gaslight them
It's SO funny that the Inquisition was, essentially, mostly a bunch of liars.
Varric is an unreliable narrator who according to Bianca tends to make up stories about what he wished would have happened. The Iron Bull is a Ben-Hassrath who will mostly act the same whether you've sacrificed the Chargers or not until *that moment* in Trespasser. Vivienne, while always frank in her opinion of you, is also absolutely a master of The Game. Sera runs with the Friends of Jenny, appears immature and pulls pranks on people, yet she does it with such skills that she is rarely caught. Solas is Solas. Blackwall/Thom Rainier? NO ONE does it like him. The advisors are not exempt either. While Leliana is obviously a spymaster, Josephine can and will destroy someone's reputation with nothing but a glove planted somewhere compromising. And Cullen? Is really cagey about his time as a templar. Even the Inquisitor is a fraud. Willingly or not, you gain an army because people believe that you are the Herald of Andraste. Which is patently false.
Then there's Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena Pentaghast, Seeker of TRUTH. Cole, whose job is to blurt everyone's secrets aloud. And Dorian, who left the nest of backstabbing vipers that is Tevinter, only to traipse through sand and snow and mud with this organization of lying liars.
10/10 team no notes
How grapes are made. [slinkachu]
this fucking amused me way more than it should have.
I don't trust people who don't own a variety of herbs and spices. why are you choosing to not live life deliciously
So. Tyr, my dog, is a Great Pyraneese. This is important because this breed is known to be smart. Not in the way a German Shepherd or border Collie is smart, and wanting to please a human; Great Pyrs are independent minded and bred to Be Management of herds when a human might not be around.
Anyway.
It has been very pleasant out. We had the windows cracked and left them cracked when we went to work. This has never been an issue before.
My darling spouse was working on a job in a small town about a mile from our place. He was getting some stuff from the work van when he sees a large white dog prancing along.
"Huh." He thinks. "That looks an awful lot like.....TYR WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE."
Tyr, delighted that she has Found Father, bounds up happily and gets in the work van to give face kisses.
"GIRL NO WHAT." Kev says, scrambling to go let the client know that he has to take the fucking criminal back home real quick.
Turns out she discovered that a window can be shoved open with a determined snoot, and a window screen is not as strong as 80 pounds of muscular dog. And went for an adventure.
I got a call at this point while I was doing payroll.
"BABE WE NEED TO BABY GATE ALL THE FUCKING WINDOWS." My spouse says.
"....okay??" I say, and then get the story. I swore a bunch.
Anyway my dog is a criminal escape artist and we have to baby proof the fucking windows now
The ruling will have enormous impacts for transgender residents in the state.
HOLY SHIT
"The Montana court separately declared that transgender people constitute a suspect class under the state's equal protection clause. In legal terms, a suspect class is a group that has historically faced such severe discrimination that any law targeting them must meet the highest level of judicial scrutiny to surviveâthe same standard applied to laws that discriminate on the basis of race. [...] The practical effect is sweeping: any Montana law that singles out transgender people will now face strict scrutiny, meaning the state must prove the law serves a compelling interest and is narrowly tailored to achieve itâa standard that laws almost never survive.
"Because the decision rests entirely on the Montana Constitution, it is insulated from the U.S. Supreme Court. Under the principle of adequate and independent state grounds, the federal Supreme Court cannot review a state court's interpretation of its own constitution, so long as that constitution provides more protection than the federal one. [...] What this means in practice is that Montana's transgender residents now have a constitutional shield completely independent of the Supreme Court of the United Stateâs decisions."
(emphases mine)
(via hornedchick)
Kurt Vonnegut wrote: âWhen I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of âgetting to know youâ questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? Whatâs your favorite subject? And I told him, no I donât play any sports. I do theater, Iâm in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.
And he went WOW. Thatâs amazing! And I said, âOh no, but Iâm not any good at ANY of them.â
And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: âI donât think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think youâve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.â
And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadnât been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could âWinâ at them.
Was at the art museum earlier and i have a new favourite painting
Is this not the cutest??? Its called âMe and Britaâ and this guy in 1895 was like âi love this kid so much imma do a painting of us having fun so the world will always know how much i loved her and what a good time we hadâ
the painting in the background is looking at them like âmy word what a cool pairâ
More specifically that is Carl Larsson with one of his 8 children.
He came from a extremely poor and abusive background but worked his way into fine society, where he fell in love with fellow artist Karin Bergöö, and his works shifted to painting his home life.
Painting titled "My Loved Ones"
[in reference to his career] "the most immediate and lasting part of my life's work. these pictures are of course a very genuine expression of my personality, of my deepest feelings, of all my limitless love for my wife and children."
OMFG I used to work at Carlâs house which in now a museum in Falun, Sweden, and now his art is on my dash!Â
I could tell so many stories about this family, but to sum it up they lived the definition of what we would call a cottagecore life where both Carl and Karin worked as artists in their dream house that they designed and built together. It really was an artistâs home built with pure love, and also a big contrast to what a typical Swedish home looked like at the time. The late 1800s trend was to have a dark home with gothic vibes and brown and dark red colours. The Larssonâs home though is bright and colourful with big windows and homemade textiles sewn by Karin.
I also wanted to tell a bit about Brita, the cute little girl on her fatherâs shoulders in the painting in the original post. She was the fifth child of seven and felt sometimes like she didnât get enough attention from her dad as a middle child in a big family. To get more time with her dad she would ask him to paint only her as often as possible since then she could talk to him without any of her siblings annoying them. This is how she became the most painted of all the children with hundreds of portraits made with her as the model. She was 89 years old when she died in 1982 and loved to talk about her childhood and those many, many painting sessions with dad.
This is one of my favourite paintings of Carl Larsson, A Viking Raid in Dalarna. Here we have all the children in a boat during a cool summerâs eve (from left, Pontus, Brita, Lisbeth, Ulf, Kersti, Esbjörn, Suzanne).
I reblogged this post too quickly before checking the notes and seeing this fantastic addition. I love how Brita came up with a solution to her problem -- wanting some undivided attention from her father -- in a way that worked for both of them.
Between these works and Mary Cassatt it's kind of fascinating how in the 19th century you can observe this transformation of the general cultural perception of childhood. It's like there's more of an acknowledgment of parenthood as this mutually transformative experience for parent and child rather than just top-down authority. I'd wager that because industrialization freed up significant chunks of labor (obviously not equally among classes đ) you have the perception of the child going from "small human who basically has to watch me weave for 4 hours straight" to "oh shit my kid has a personality!"
I have three monitors on my desk. The left one shows the order book. The middle one shows Truth Social. The right one shows the investigation queue.
On April 21st, the left screen moved first.
I am a Senior Surveillance Analyst at a commodities exchange. I have held this position for nineteen years. My job is to monitor trading activity for suspicious patterns and generate compliance reports. I am employee of the quarter. I have a mug.
At 19:54 GMT on April 21st, someone placed 4,260 sell orders on Brent crude futures. They did this during post-settlement. The window after the market closes when daily volume is typically in the dozens. Sometimes single digits. Sometimes I watch the screen and nothing happens for forty minutes and I think about whether my daughter is happy.
On April 21st, someone placed $430 million in directional bets in 120 seconds during that window. One hundred and twenty seconds. I timed it on my watch because the system clock rounds to the nearest minute and I have found, in nineteen years, that precision matters to no one but me.
At 20:10 GMT, the President posted on Truth Social that he was extending the Iran ceasefire.
Brent dropped from $100.91 to $96.83.
I flagged the trade. I flag a lot of trades. I want to tell you what happens to my flags.
My flags go into a system called TRACE. Trade Review and Compliance Evaluation. I did not name it. The system generates a report. The report goes to a committee. The committee has a name I am not allowed to share but I can tell you it meets quarterly and the conference room has a credenza with bottled water that is sparkling because someone once put still water in the room and a managing director sent an email about it that was longer than most of my surveillance reports.
The committee reviews my flags. The committee has reviewed all of my flags. Here is the complete record of actions taken on my flags in 2026:
Reviewed.
That's it. "Reviewed" is a status. In compliance, a status is the absence of an action that has been given a name so it looks like one.
Let me show you my flags.
March 9th. Someone bet millions on oil falling at 18:29 GMT. Forty-seven minutes later, a CBS reporter posted that the President said the Iran war was "very complete, pretty much." Oil dropped 25%. Forty-seven minutes. I flagged it.
March 23rd. Someone sold 5,100 lots of Brent and WTI crude futures between 10:49 and 10:50 GMT. Fourteen minutes later, the President posted on Truth Social about a "COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION" to hostilities. Oil dropped 11%. Over 13,000 contracts traded in sixty seconds after the post. Fourteen minutes. I flagged it.
April 7th. Someone established a $950 million short position in oil futures at 19:45 GMT. Three hours later, the President declared a two-week ceasefire. Nine hundred and fifty million dollars. I flagged it.
April 17th. Someone placed $760 million in bearish bets twenty minutes before Iran's foreign minister confirmed the Strait of Hormuz would reopen. Seven hundred and sixty million. I flagged it.
April 21st. The $430 million. Fifteen minutes. I flagged it.
That is $2.1 billion in directional oil bets in April alone. Every one of them landed on the correct side of a presidential announcement. Every one of them was placed in a window so narrow you could measure it in bathroom breaks. I flagged every single one.
The CFTC chair told a Congressional committee that his organization has "zero tolerance" for fraud and insider trading. I wrote that quote on a Post-it note and stuck it to my right monitor. The one that shows the investigation queue. The investigation queue has not moved since March.
Zero tolerance. Zero staff. Zero budget. Zero prosecutions under the STOCK Act since it was signed in 2012.
Fourteen years. The law has existed for fourteen years and has been enforced zero times. In compliance, we call that a compliance rate of one hundred percent. No cases filed means no cases lost. You cannot fail an audit you never conduct. We call that excellence.
Last month the White House sent an internal email to staff. I was not on the distribution list but I have read reporting on it and I need you to sit with what I am about to say. The email instructed White House staff not to use insider information to place bets on prediction markets.
The White House had to send a memo telling its own employees not to insider-trade.
I want you to read that sentence again. Not because the instruction was unclear. Because the instruction was necessary. Because someone in the building looked at the same pattern I have been flagging for months on my three monitors and decided the appropriate response was an email.
The President's son sits on the advisory board of Kalshi. He is an investor in Polymarket. Both are prediction markets. Both saw accounts created days before U.S. military action.
One account. I cannot stop thinking about this account. It was called "Burdensome-Mix." It was created in December. On January 2nd, it placed $32,500 on Venezuela's president being removed from power. On January 3rd, Maduro was seized by U.S. special forces. Burdensome-Mix collected $436,000. Then it changed its username. Then it disappeared.
One account is a coincidence. But there were six.
Six accounts were created on Polymarket in February. All bet on U.S. strikes on Iran by the 28th. When the President confirmed the strikes, the six accounts collected $1.2 million between them. Five of the six never placed another bet. The sixth went on to correctly predict the ceasefire date and made another $163,000.
My surveillance system logged all of this. My system logs everything. My system does not have opinions and neither do I. I generate reports. The reports go to committees. The committees meet quarterly. Between meetings, the windows get shorter and the bets get larger.
March 9th: 47 minutes. March 23rd: 14 minutes. April 17th: 20 minutes. April 21st: 15 minutes.
The window is compressing. In March, you had time to make coffee between the trade and the announcement. By April, you had time to send a text. By summer, at this rate, the trade and the announcement will be the same event.
The spokesman said any implication that administration officials are engaged in insider trading is "baseless and irresponsible reporting."
Then the White House sent the email again.
I have been in compliance for nineteen years. I have seen insider trading run out of strip mall offices by men who could not spell "derivative." I have seen pump-and-dump schemes coordinated over WhatsApp by people who used their real names. I have seen a man try to manipulate soybean futures from a Panera Bread.
I have never seen $2.1 billion in perfectly timed trades across five presidential announcements in a single month go uninvestigated.
But I have also never seen a compliance system work this beautifully. Every trade flagged. Every report filed. Every committee briefed. Every quarterly meeting attended. Bottled water: sparkling. Minutes: distributed.
Zero prosecutions.
As long as the flags go up and the cases don't, my performance review says I am meeting expectations.
I am meeting expectations. The system is meeting expectations. The $2.1 billion is meeting expectations. The fourteen-year-old law with zero prosecutions is meeting expectations.
The left screen moves. The middle screen moves. The right screen stays perfectly, immaculately still.
In my field, we call this price discovery.
Something Iâve noticed is
THAT PEOPLE POKE THEIR NOSE WHERE IT DOESNâT BELONG!
âoh no we need to practice for our fake datingâ is the funniest trope to me cause like. there are so many people who force themselves into a shitty relationship they hate just because of amatonormatiivity that itâs an ingrained part of popular culture to joke about hating your partner.
which is to say, oh my god you dont need to hold hands and go on fake dates, you donât even need to agree on a single detail of your cover story beforehand. you can literally stand 6 feet apart at all times and look profoundly uncomfortable and all anyone will think is âyikesâą. not my problemâ
actually people should address this in fanfic more because âi know we could half-ass it, but i would never fake mistreat my fake husband, how dare youâ is absolutely delightful
New trope: fake dating for spite.
âLook, my only goal here is for our pretend relationship to be demonstrably healthier than Aunt Rita and Uncle Carlâs fifteen year, three child marriage - which means the bar is so low we probably canât fuck this upâ
preserving @river-galeâs tags for posterity because yes. yes. this is it. you get it.