600 Murderous Children @endlessonions - Tumblr Blog

become rice with mama

"Father's day is tomorrow huh? I have so many letters from last year's holiday. I think I would need another file cabinet for the new letters and drawings that the children make this year. I just can't bring myself to throw the old letters away."

endlessonions

600 onion children, and the rest of the orphans living at the orphanage, pile on Kabuto, trying to hug him.

“Happy Father’s Day!!!”

#like that

idreamofdango

Mitarashi-san, there's an eighty meter reticulated python in Training Ground Forty-four. Me and some of the other chunin were wondering if you might be able to to help relocate it before we run our obstacle course?

i took care of the python @scarecrow-in-a-hatake apparently, there's a necrophiliac on the loose ... look alive people

scarecrow-in-a-hatake

It's not him. I still question the wisdom of letting the guy run an orphanage some days, but it certainly keeps him busy enough not to engage in these kinds of antics again.

Also, we have ussuri bears and rats the size of the average man's head in the Forest of Death. I'm not surprised to discover a giant python as well.

idreamofdango

i'm furious about that. nothing like leaving children in the care of an international criminal known for helping experiment on kids.

endlessonions

Shin clone #432 overhears and pipes up, “Actually, Anko sensei, Father Kabuto doesn’t experiment on us like Father Shin did. We’re good at the orphanage, except for the overcrowding since we all moved in.”

idreamofdango

i see he's still in the process of naming you lot ... carry on then

endlessonions

“Well, there are 600 of us,” the boy points out.

Compared to the father who killed them to use their organs, Kabuto seems like a great parent. The orphans don’t know much about his history.

#Hii :)#idreamofdango

idreamofdango

i took care of the python @scarecrow-in-a-hatake apparently, there's a necrophiliac on the loose ... look alive people

scarecrow-in-a-hatake

It's not him. I still question the wisdom of letting the guy run an orphanage some days, but it certainly keeps him busy enough not to engage in these kinds of antics again.

Also, we have ussuri bears and rats the size of the average man's head in the Forest of Death. I'm not surprised to discover a giant python as well.

idreamofdango

i'm furious about that. nothing like leaving children in the care of an international criminal known for helping experiment on kids.

endlessonions

#hi it’s Kimimaro/Hayate/Log/several other blogs :)

orochimarufacts

No, no, I don’t resent him at all, honestly. Truly, I’m happy for kabuto, and I wish him nothing but happiness and success, wherever he is now. … The orphanage? Still…? … well, regardless, yes. As I say, nothing but success to him, I’m glad he found his bliss. Is there anything I’d like to tell him? Well… I suppose it would be that I’m proud of him. I don’t think he should feel bad about how long it’s been for him without so much as a cameo - clearly, he doesn’t need one, right? And he should feel proud of himself for actively eradicating himself so thoroughly and effectively from the narrative. The kabuto I know is and always has been a guy who has absolute confidence in himself, who knows who he is and where he’s going, and has never needed any kind of external, constant validation or what have you. So yeah. I’d say he’s doing just fine, and I’m thrilled for him. In fact, I smile just thinking about him, sitting there alone in the orphanage he grew up in… flourishing without me. Covered in sticky jam toddler handprints. Poor. Ageing

#Kabuto tou-san

lucsorola

older doodle I found ajhjjhhh

Kabuto’s tired and living off 90% caffeine but he’s doing his best

anxietyproblem

narutwitter

thatsneakymedic

(@endlessonions) “Uchiha Sasuke...our father told us he must die, because he killed Itachi. But you did that weird thing to his face.” The clones don’t know what a kiss is.

Hoo boy. He should’ve known that the Shins were going to be paying attention to Kabuto’s every move, even if he thinks that they’re not paying attention.

He sighed as he sat down on the couch and he beckons the Shin children to sit around him. He places one arm around one Shin and he places his other hand on another’s. He’s going to try to explain it right as well as his reasons why he did the bet in the first place, “That weird thing I did to his face is called a kiss. Sometimes people kiss each other to show how much they love them. It’s quite common among Mother and Fathers to kiss their children and married or dating couples kiss each other when they’re in love. “

Kabuto takes in a deep breathe, “But what you saw me do to Sasuke just now… It was me showing my own affections towards him. I don’t love him like how a husband loves his spouse, but I… I love him like a brother or a sibling if that makes sense. Brothers and sisters and even friends can kiss each other if they love each other and if they have a strong bond with each other. Though sometimes it’s best to kiss when no one is looking as they might think that you want to have sex with them. And the topic of sex will be for a talk for another day but right now we’re talking about kissing.”

He raises one finger in the air, “But it’s very important to know that many people don’t like to be touched or kissed no matter how much you love them or want to show them how much you love them. Sometimes people are scared of kisses and they might hurt you if you tried to. So it’s best if you ask permission before you offer to kiss them. Even you have every right to say no if they’re complete strangers or suspicious people you don’t feel comfortable being around with. That is called consent. You can kiss your brothers and sisters if they want to, and you can kiss me and Urushi, but do not kiss strangers or people who make you uncomfortable or wary. Do… all of you understand any of this?”

endlessonions

It’s a lot to take in. Everything about the orphanage is so totally foreign to the Shin clones. No one gives orders here. No one even trains to fight. There is no overarching goal like their father’s goal to re-establish the Akatsuki. Father taught them that emotions were weakness, but here the children laugh, cry, and get angry. Even Kabuto goes out of his way to show affection, like he just did with Sasuke.

“Love,” one of the clones says, almost to himself. “Uchiha Sasuke and his wife didn’t kiss their daughter, but they put their arms around her, like you’re doing with Maru.” That is the new name of the clone Kabuto has his arm around. “They cared what happened to her. They talked about ‘parental feelings.’ Is that love?...Father said they were wrong.”

There is silence for a moment. “Itachi loved his brother, didn’t he?” another clone points out, “So maybe it’s okay. And Sasuke said Father didn’t really understand Itachi...”

“Father knew everything about Itachi and the Uchiha name,” protests a third clone.

“Maybe he didn’t,” a fourth ventures.

Maru takes a deep breath. “Consent... is that really true? We can...we can say no to things?”

Every Shin widens his eyes as the earth-shattering impact of this hits them.

“Father never asked us for consent to cut us open and take our organs.” Maru’s voice is bitter rather than monotone. It sets something off in all of them.

“How many of our brothers did he kill?” one whispers.

“I lost count.”

“Me too.”

“And you never knew if it was going to be you tomorrow.”

As his brothers speak, Maru’s lower lip trembles. Tears stand in his eyes. As if they’ve finally been given permission, several other clones begin to show emotion, too. Their eyes fill. There are sniffles and a suppressed sob. Grief roils beneath the surface of their stony demeanor, like a wave about to crash.

#thatsneakymedic #it’s h a p p e n i n g

thatsneakymedic

[[GIVE HIM KEES]]

FIRST FIVE ASKS GET A KISS 5/5 (last one!)

It was only a harmless bet that Kabuto played along with the children that they bet that if Kabuto was able to give any kind of kiss to an adult that wasn’t Urushi or any of the workers around, then they would have to eat the dinner that Kabuto planned for the evening and if he lost the bet, then they would all have take out pizza and soda for dinner instead. It was a Friday so it was a nice occasion for fun.

All day he waited patiently for any kind of acquaintance or inspector to show up but no one did Not even couples looking to adopt, it seemed like a rather normal boring day. It turned 6 pm and just when he was beginning to think that he was going to lose this not so serious bet, he spots Sasuke walking past the orphanage on the road. He chuckles, despite that it’s Sasuke of all people, he can’t be picky with this opportunity.

He turns around to sneer at the children, “Watch this… Hey Sasuke, can you come here for a minute?” He walks over to him, but not too far from the building where the children can see. The children all move to the windows to see what Kabuto was going to do. Their eyes widen when they see Sasuke stopping in his tracks and walking towards him. “Wait, he’s not really going to kiss that dude right?” One boy asked as he squints. “Well, the bet was to kiss ANYONE so yeah that would count.” The girl giggles. “Nah, no way, the guy looks like he might punch Father if he gets near him. We’re so going to win this bet!” The chubby kid laughed as he watches with his friends.

Kabuto smiles as he crosses his arms, “Nice to know that your daughter is doing well in her exams and Sakura still is always happy to see you home.” He glances back at the house and he adjusts his glasses as he reveals a nervous smile on his face, “Sasuke if I may? Is it alright if I asked you for a favor first? It won’t be long but feel free to say no if you don’t want to do so…”

“Hmm, they look like they’re just talking… no wait. Guys! Father is holding that man’s face and he’s… !” *Gasps* The kids look on in shock. Kabuto gently and fondly kisses Sasuke’s cheek while holding him close, accidentally kissing close to the corner of his lips as he looks behind at the gawking faces of the children behind Sasuke. He smiles as he removes his hands from Sasuke’s face, that kiss lingered a bit too long for his comfort. He chuckles with a slightly pink flush on his cheeks, whoa that was a bit intense! “I’m sorry that I have to do that to you. It was the only way those children would listen to me and I wanted to win the bet. Least your wife or your daughter didn’t see us right? Well, I guess I should start preparing dinner for the kids, goodbye Sasuke. Good luck on your travels.”

Kabuto walked back with a confident stride as he makes his way inside the building, Urushi is laughing at what he just saw as they both start to make dinner. He even teases him by muttering the words, “Gaaaaaaaayyyy…” to him and they both would laugh it off.

endlessonions

“Father Kabuto is weird.”

thegoodvybe

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”

— Philip K. Dick, VALIS (via paradoxdepriety)

for-pete-sake-memes

💀 Reblog if your muse is deadly

goodbyeworld95-deactivated20190

This hit me in all the wrong places.

chaoticbeastsuggestion

Wipe the blood off your mouth, get back on your feet.

You’re not dead yet, are you?

thatsneakymedic

Continued from here

He notices the Shins standing around, looking rather confused. He’s going to have to give a quick explanation before the children get all of the eggs before they do.

“There is no success or failure in this “mission”. This is just for fun so there’s no winners or losers. You can’t use your sharingan and no taijutsu, jutsu, or ninjutsu allowed since that would be unfair to the other children. Any eggs you find will be rightfully yours to keep, even the candies and the golden money eggs but you are free to share them with each other but no stealing eggs or candies from other children’s baskets. The objective is to fill your baskets with as much eggs as you can find until they are full and it’s for you to enhance your seeking skills as well if you like to see it as training.”

“I found a gold egg!” A little girl squealed as she puts it in her basket as she hurries off to pick up a red plastic egg from the ground. “There’s one found.” He makes a gesture for the Shins to run off. “Go hurry up and find some eggs and put them in your baskets before the other children find them all.”

endlessonions

Just for fun? What’s that? The clones have never done anything for fun.

The eggs are theirs to keep? For real? They’ve never had anything to keep except their clothes and weapons.

They’re still trying to digest all this when Father Kabuto waves his hand and gives the order to begin searching. The clones spring into action, ninja running around the yard and gathering eggs as fast as they can. A command is a command.

When the hunt is over, several Shins forget that they get to keep their finds. Out of habit, they gather around Kabuto and get down on one knee, bow their heads, and present their baskets.

#thatsneakymedic #<3