~~~

[ephemeralenergy]

Contrasting Shades of Red

Love can be as strong,

As it can be weak

Love can be as fierce,

As it can be meek

-

Its fragile constructions,

Held by mere heartstrings,

Can survive some blows,

But not small, sharp things

-

And it falls quite apart—

Descent, over and over again,

We cauterize our hearts,

Sealing hope from the hopeless

-

[ephemeralenergy]

Transient Ties

The bridges you neglect

Are bridges less traveled

The cliffs and trees watch

As time does dismantle

-

The bonds tied tight

Loosen, unfasten,

So slow it strikes,

Like hands unclasping

-

Interlopers have their way

And the way disappears

Swallowed into nature

Unheard by human ears

-

[ephemeralenergy]

Til Death is my Part

I built my life around you

You became my core

I am collapsing now

For you wanted more

-

Not more of me

Nor my offerings

But of other things—

The world competes

-

I am incomplete

In silent ruins

You defeated

Everything human

-

I have worked on myself

But it shall never suffice

Quiet halls, all in stealth—

Isolation, darkness, ice

-

[ephemeralenergy]

Opportunity Smashes Twice

I tend to one task

But another decays

Why, oh why, I ask,

Is dismay to stay?

-

Between long silence of nothing

And a mad dash, scrambling,

I feel my heart fluttering

Over problems I am damning

-

If I turn my head away

To watch over myself,

If I fulfill myself in play

Must life head to hell?

-

I wake up with love,

But find my love gone,

I’ve lost quite enough

I haven’t focused on

-

[ephemeralenergy]

Sleep was once recourse From everything off-course Now it is a rough re-creation Of the cost of my recreation

[ephemeralenergy]

It's over isn't it

[ephemeralenergy]

The Suffocating Sands

Without much rest I begin the day In medias res Here to stay - I fear my pen Hastens my descent Yet this emotion Must be expressed - Bright screens and dark rooms Dreading life since the womb Even goodness becomes a tomb So many ways to seal one’s doom - A walking shadow I greet Every night after I sleep I flip the lights, there it creeps— Mirroring: the shadow is me - No matter how strongly you stand For values and self-respect The sullen solitude shall seep in And abet every regret ~

[ephemeralenergy]

The Sullen Silence

I am a mundane magician I deal in cycles of attrition All this despite my contrition Life is merely long division - To write well, often one must, Take pause, use liberal commas, Let sentiment take it on, Lead with emotion, not logic - Illogical I am not, But our humanity Includes emotion, Empathy, insanity - When injustice finds you No matter what you do, There’s a choice to be made: Shrink away, or make waves? ~

[ephemeralenergy]

Hanging in just barely. I've lost just about everyone. Beginning to realize that as I was waiting for things to get better, things had already been at their best. This is not unconditional praise of the present. Rather, it's a cautionary tale against even faint optimism.

[everythingstarstuff]

[kaedien]

boot up, Bitch

[izhunny]

That reply is unexpectedly inspirational.

[ephemeralenergy]

For the first time I want to see the top.

Now I have no one pulling me down.

I will wage war with my demons.

I will come out bruised but strong.

[ephemeralenergy]

Fulfillment Siphoned

-

I'm starting to believe all alone

Is far and away the best way

To cope with nihilism strewn

Inside, across, all in my brain

-

Others complicate

They start up, insinuate

They twist out, manipulate

Apologize, at best, too late

-

I have full circled back to cliché—

But this time alone, it's only me

Nightly riding waves of dismay

The others faded, ephemerally

-

It's time to build walls to keep me safe:

Ignoring texts from the problematic

I will battle every day, sickened fate;

Fulfillment pales amidst the nostalgic

-

If I am to ever achieve life again, like that,

I will again have genuine reason to laugh

-

[shinyqueenmari]

[ephemeralenergy]

A Couplet, Endangered

Close now to the end

An alien in alienation

Can barely write, send,

Deadened feelings--pain

-

Wanted to do better than this

But I seem to cause suffering

-

A useless consumer, merely a user,

Always playing the precipice

Came from abuse but not an abuser,

Nevertheless, harmless but useless

-

From within I feel dissonance

Golden boy to drug enthusiast

-

I can’t stand the final stanza

As time runs out, I drink up.

Wishing I had found answers,

Mostly thinking how I’m fucked

-

If it is to end, end it fast;

I cannot upend my past.

-

[ephemeralenergy]

Cowardly Brevity

Cornered

Drunk

Coroner

Come

-

Daily

Worse

Hailing

Hearse

-

Gaslit

Imposter

Inflamed

Disaster

-

Words

Failure

Misheard

Misinterpreted

-

Succumb

Bleed

Troubled

Sleep

-

[ephemeralenergy]

Wasted Ink, Wasted Skin

The walls are closing in,

And I am right here drinking.

I am weak, things are bleak,

So done but still feel the sting

-

Sending out texts to old friends

"Who is this," and I explain,

Brief respite, sealing up loose ends,

Then they remember, I am pain

-

Nothing spared, inebriated, I overshare,

Politely, but eventually,

They stop responding and my lair

Grows darker, figuratively

-

Last I checked, I earned self-respect,

And I passed every single test,

But longing for solitude expects

You to lose every single friend.

[ephemeralenergy]

Burning Soul

I deal with smiling devils regularly

But I keep that fire under my feet

I’ll never slay my demons’ energy

But won’t let it affect those ‘round me

-

Blue blood, let it bleed,

BPD, fight it then let it be,

I take toxins seriously

But will fight to break free

[ephemeralenergy]

Spinning

Self-improvement is nice When you’re in control Me? I am spinning Self-control to asshole - I am drinking down the days While dealing with crises Still of another’s making Well, mostly, anyways - A plain-English fuck-up Behaving then destroying My BPD increasing ABV Until a familiar sting comes - Assumed the worst by others Noble intentions come out wrong I’ve lost those I thought brothers I am the furthest from strong - Tis the only way to express Darkest demons in my chest Self-confidence did divest Long since I took a stand - I must once again wonder, Am I the good or the worst? Should we plan on a house, Or more swiftly, my hearse?